(General Toad and MagiBoo are standing in front of the door to his mansion, unlocking it after coming back from vacation.)
General Toad: I wonder what Doopliss Guy did...
(KABLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!)
GT: *sigh* Let’s just find out what that was...
MagiBoo: (looking up) *gulp* I think we're going to find out.....
(General Toad opens the door. In front of him, is a leg. A large metal leg. General Toad looks up.)
GT: Can someone care to explain why MEGALEG crashlanded into my house?!
(A ramp extends out of Megaleg. Doopliss Guy and Snift walk off. Snift waves to Megaleg, and Megaleg flies away, scorching the ground with his rockets.)
Doopliss Guy: That was my ride! To make a long story short, Shrood's gone, I interviewed Megaleg IN SPAAAACE, and this is Snift, a Snifit scientist who'll be interviewing with us. Don't worry, he's saner then you are. I even have a tape of the Interview.
Magiboo: (under breath) Like that's going too last long...
GT: Well that's all good and great, but how are we going to fix the mansion?! Mario Koopa took the Gadd Instant fixer when we interviewed Petey Piranha, and I'm tired of paying construction bills! Besides, this isn't structural damage. We're talking a new house here!
Snift: If you don't mind, General, I could call in my team of Snifit engineers and we could work on your house.
GT: *grumble* Better then nothing. MagiBoo, I want you to oversee construction. Snift, after you call in "your team", I want you to watch this.
(General Toad gives Snift a stack of DVD's! Buy some at King Boo's DVD Emporium! Lemmy appears.)
Lemmy: I'll give you a break this time, just because your last advertisement was for Lady Bow, but I'm serious. NO ADVERTISING!
Snift: Right... So what are these?
GT: The complete edition of General Toad's Interview Show. Now shoo. Go watch... I'm going to go do an Interview...
(General Toad leaves. Snift looks around.)
Snift: What am I going to watch...?
(General Toad walks into the middles of Poshley Heights, and looks around.)
GT: ANYONE WANT TO BE INTERVIEWED ON LIVE TV?!
(A random Goomba walks up.)
Goomba: Sure.
GT: Cool!
(General Toad recruits a Koopa to run the camera. And soon…)
GT: Welcome to General Toad's Interview Show, straight from the streets of Poshley Heights! I'm the host, General Toad! And today, we'll be interviewing one of the most common beings on Plit: GOOOOOOOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Audience: Oh boy…
Goomba: Hey everyone. Hi Mom.
GT: Ok! Let’s get started! In the Paper Mario games, what are your stats?
Goomba: 2 HP and 1 Attack in the first two, but only 1 HP and 1 Attack in the third one.
GT: Pathetic. What intense, time consuming strategy is used to defeat a boss like you?
Goomba: Thanks, thanks a lot. Just stomp on me.
GT: Pathetic times two. What kinds of Goombas are there?
Goomba: Well, there's Dark Goombas, Headbonk Goombas, Dark Headbonk Goombas, Paragoombas, Dark Paragoombas, Red Paragoombas, Spiked Goombas, Dark Spiked Goombas, Electrogoombas, Gloombas, Paragloombas, Spiked Gloombas, Tanoombas, Tashroobas, Microgoombas, Goomdivers, Gritty Goombas, Grand Goombas, Hyper Goombas, and Hyper Spiked Goombas. Then there’s Sad Goombas and Paragoombas, and Mad Goombas, Paragoombas, and Red Paragoombas. And I might have forgotten some!
GT: Zzz... Woah! Wow. That's a lot. Are there any Goombas that are famous?
Random Audience Member: This is lame!
GT: Get over it!
(Morton appears next to Random Audience Member.)
Morton: Pst! Only you can hear me! It's speech time! Greetings, good day, salutations....
Random Audience Member: AHHHHHHH!
(Random Audience Member tries to run out of the crowd, but a Hammer Bro stops him.)
Hammer Bro: Sir, please keep all hands, feet, legs, arms, tongues, fingers, toes, ears, and spleens inside the audience while the Interview is in motion.
Goomba: Anyways… Yes there are. Goomboss for being "Goomba King", and Goombario and Goombella for helping Mario save the world.
GT: What's the deal with "Almighty Goomba" from Mario Party 8?
Goomba: It's the Goomba equivalent of DAD. Simple as that.
GT: Why, a long time ago, did the Goombas betray the Mushroom Kingdom?
Goomba: If I told you, I'd have to terminate you.
Random Audience Member 2: HA-HA!
At General Toad's Mansion...
Doopliss Guy: … Deja-vu.
Back at the Interview...
GT: Ok. This one's a big one. What was wrong with the Goombas in Super Mario World?
Goomba: They were cross breads of Strollin' Stus and Goombas. They got the shape from the Stus and the color and expression from the Goombas.
GT: But why couldn't we squish them?
Goomba: Is it some kind of sport?! Anyways, you couldn't squish them because… well, frankly you’re going to have to ask one of them. I'm not sure.
GT: Right. Why can the pumpkin-wearing Goombas in Super Mario Galaxy shoot fire?
Goomba: They're wearing a pumpkin.
GT: SO?
Goomba: It's an evil pumpkin.
GT: I'm sure.
(A pumpkin appears and obliterates an audience member.)
Goomba: They have power over karma.
GT: Riiiiiiiiiiight. I'm going to pretend I didn't see that. I think I'll go to audience questions! Umm, let’s see... You! Yes you with the shirt! Hahaha... Oh, right. That joke doesn’t work when some species don't wear shirts. Shame. Ok then, you right in front of me!
Magikoopa: What are the shoes you were riding in in Super Mario Bros. 3?
Goomba: They were Goomba, also known as Kuribo, Shoes! We hired Shy Guys to create something so we could show Mario how much it hurts to be stomped on! But he destroyed and stole the prototypes.
GT: You there, next to that Magikopa!
Bob-omb: Do the Goombas have any relation to the Toads?
Goomba: Well yes, in the fact we both evolved from fungus. Only the Toads got arms.
GT: I would actually like to interject. If Goombas don't have arms, how do you hold things like books as seen by Goombella and baseball bats as seem by the Gomba in the Mario Baseball series?
Goomba: Goombas have a limited telepathic ability allowing us to lift smaller objects with our minds.
GT: That's awesome! Too bad you’re so pathetic! Anyways, what-
(Snift pushes through the crowd.)
Snift: Excuse me, General, but I have completed your Mansion, and watched all the tapes.
GT: WHAT?! All of them?
Snift: Yes, I used an invention of mine to beam all the data from them into my brain. And I must say you break the fourth wall far too-
GT: Right! That’s all the time we have! END TRANSMISSION! Now, Snift, you don't say that on live TV! I should-
(The transmission ended.)
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