Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!
Extreme: Do you ever stop?
Lemmy: No, I'm here for just about every one, to annoy, and to help when needed.
Extreme: Uh-huh.
Lemmy: Besides, it's about time you did an Interview.
Extreme: What about Blue?
Lemmy: Blue's fired.
Extreme: I'm really sure we can come up with a better excuse, to not use him in the Interview.
Lemmy: Uhh... Freak accident?
Extreme: No.
Lemmy: Umm... Was eaten by a dragon?
Extreme: Who's going to believe that?
Blue: Hey guys!
Extreme: Blue, you're not interviewing.
Blue: Ok.
(Blue walks away.)
Extreme: Wow, that was easy.
Lemmy: So get on with your Interview, and don't replace yourself with someone like Wario.
Extreme: Oh come on, that was like the best Interview in a long time.
Lemmy: Not really. It was done three years ago, that’s how long you haven’t done an Interview.
Extreme: Well Cannoli is a two-week champion.
Lemmy: Yeah, was lucky twice, and people don't even like him. And because of that, I've decided to personally choose your interviewee.
Iggy: What's an interviewee?
Larry: There's probably a visien for that.
Lemmy: You know, the person that you interview, as the interviewer?
Larry: Sounds like a cake.
Lemmy: You guys are clueless.
Iggy: Are you sure you can't take a visien for that?
Mufti Guy: Heeey maaan.
Mufti Guy, a yellow Shy Guy with a flower hat on, walks up to the interviewee seat and sits down, legs crossed underneath him.
Extreme: ... You got me a hippie Shy Guy to interview?!
Mufti Guy: Hey man, chill, you know? Like, it's harshing my mellow.
Lemmy: I thought you'd enjoy interviewing him.
Extreme: Lemmy, there's no such thing as a hippie Shy Guy, they're all a thing of the past.
Lemmy: Not this one.
Extreme: (sighs) Great, out of all the creatures, and Shy Guys, I get a hippie. So first question, why are you a hippie?
Mufti Guy: Dude, why aren't we all hippies?
Extreme: I don't know, maybe it’s because everyone doesn't wear flowers on their heads.
Mufti Guy: You don't like hippies, do you?
Extreme: No. I like people, but I've always hated hippies.
Mufti Guy: Bummer. Mother nature, you know, bares great things for all that love her. We're all about the freedom. You dig? We all need to spread the love and our own revolution!
Extreme: So I take it you have a hippie name, don't you? Moonshine Guy, The Hipping Flow... no wait, probably something like The Freak.
Mufti Guy: (gasps) How did you know, man?
Extreme: Just a lucky guess. All right, I'll cut the hippie questions, and just get straight to the questions about Shy Guys... and maybe some about your lifestyle whenever I can think of any.
The Freak (aka Mufti Guy): That's groovy with me, man.
Extreme: Sweet. So first question, tell me about the Shy Guys themselves. What’s up with the different gimmicks?
The Freak: Like, Shy Guys are just putting it against 'The Man'.
Extreme: "The Man"?
The Freak: Yeah, Bowser. Like, we were all tired of being the same thing, it's like eating the same food day after day. So, we all went on strike so we could have different ways of life.
Extreme: So how did "the man" react?
The Freak: Wasn't very good at all! Bowser freaked out at us for having a strike, so we stopped right away. However, we decided to go ahead anyway and have different groups. That's what putting it to the man is all about.
Extreme: And how did that go?
The Freak: Still not good. We only had two groups, one was normal, and the others were Stilt Guys. Eventually we decided to go into more groups. So we had Limbo Guys, Pirate Guys, and Fat Guys.
Extreme: Sounds like you guys were goofing off more then helping yourselves.
The Freak: That was the problem! Limbo Guys had an addiction to limboing, Pirate Guys thought they were real pirates, and Fat Guys just kept on eating and eating, and could hardly move! So then we wanted to get serious, but Bowser was beginning to be a pain in the neck, and like gave us more harsh to our egos.
Extreme: I take it you guys failed even more.
The Freak: Well... a little. But then one day we strapped balloons to this one guy, and he could attack from the air. We only did that as a prank, but they're called Fly Guys. We set one guy on fire as another prank, and they're called Pyro Guys.
Extreme: It sounds like you helped yourselves by causing harmful, yet funny pranks.
The Freak: They were, our pranks are our ideas of different Shy Guys. We even have a Groove Guy, which dresses up like a jester to make you dizzy... or at least angry for the lame joke. Eventually we had guys coming up with their own ideas. Spy Guys are camouflaged guys that wait and attack with a slingshot, Medi Guys are guys that steal copters and recover troops, and Spear Guys... man, they are the creepiest.
Extreme: Creepy?
The Freak: Yeah, they can dance!
Extreme: What's wrong with dancing?
The Freak: I can't dance.
Extreme: I thought hippies could dance. Man you are one lame hippie.
The Freak: But like, dude... they have spears, and can also dance, otherwise known as a Tribal Guy. Now we have so many kinds of Shy Guys, that just about anyone can make a new group. It's almost like a cult or a religion. Thank god I never joined them.
Extreme: So then what happened with you?
The Freak: Well, instead of joining other people's weird little groups, I decided to start my own, the Mufti Guys. Some call us Pedal Guys, and other just call us Flower Heads, which is so cruel. They just want to nark on us.
Extreme: Right... so not to rain on your little pity parade, you still need to tell me about your... "heritage".
The Freak: Well, like we're just a bunch of flower camouflage Shy Guys or so we were in Yoshi's Island... but I'm totally the only groovy cat of them all!
Extreme: "Groovy cat" as in only hippie?
The Freak: That works too! But what Mufti Guys in Yoshi's Island did, was hide with the flowers so that bummer Yoshi would fall into our trap and let us attack him. Didn't work, because he always stepped on us. Ruined our hats too...
Extreme: Right. So tell me about the different colors of Shy Guys, are they different than others?
The Freak: They're all the same in the eyes of mother nature, man. They're all one with the flow.
Extreme: That's not really what I meant. I mean there's got to be a total bunch of different colors; red, blue, white, green, etc. Do colors mean anything?
The Freak: No, they just like to wear colors. Red and green ones are the normal colors you see a lot. The white and black colors are rare because they're actually stronger, like Anti Guy, who wears black. The white ones are against us, they're with the good guys. They see us as the bad guys and joined Mario and his stupid square group.
Extreme: So you’re yellow because...?
The Freak: Goes along with the flowers. Sometimes Shy Guys just choose colors pending on their style.
Larry: They look fake.
The Freak: What? My flowers aren't fake! They're real! Hey blue haired Koopa thing, come over here and check if they're real, man.
Larry: I have a name you know.
The Freak: Whhoooaaa dude, don't be such a nark, man. Just come and check them.
Larry: Well, I guess a look to see if-
(The Freak squirts Larry with water from one of the flowers.)
The Freak: Ha ha! Got you!
Larry: Stupid pranking danceless hippie!
Extreme: Speaking of pranking, you guys seemed to do a lot of it, especially in Paper Mario.
The Freak: Man, we need to have fun in our lives. Like you see that other Koopa over there, with the glasses?
Extreme: Iggy?
The Freak: Sure, let’s call him, 'The Iggy'. I sent him a package addressed from someone unknown.
Iggy: Hmm, a package that’s from The Freak.
Extreme: I thought you said it was unknown.
The Freak: Yeah, but how many people know me?
Extreme: Quite a few.
(Iggy opens the gift, and a pie hits him in the face.)
Iggy: Well, at least its not blueberry.
(It's blueberry.)
Iggy: Oh... what?!
(Iggy screams and crashes into a wall.)
Lemmy: I don't think he likes blueberries.
The Freak: Pranks are just our way of saying, we don't want a harsh life, we want to have fun! That's why we're always doing pranks, to free ourselves from the revolution of... work.
Extreme: A danceless, pranking, jobless hippie. You know this will keep piling up, right?
The Freak: Yeah, man.
Extreme: So you guys do pranks, to not do work?
The Freak: Man, pranks ARE our work! In Paper Mario, we were known as Prankster Toddlers, because of our size. We managed to steal things while pranking people in the process. Like the postman, we told him that his car crashed, and stole his bag of mail.
Extreme: I bet he didn't have a car to begin with. So what do Shy Guys want with mail?
The Freak: Read them. Although Shy Guys are illiterate.
Extreme: Whoa whoa whoa, so Shy Guys are illiterate?
The Freak: Yeah, all of us are.
Extreme: So the message written on a note in Shy Guys Toybox…?
The Freak: Our Shy Guy Code that only we can understand.
Extreme: But why would you guys steal mail if you guys can't read?
The Freak: Oh, we have a Shy Guy for that.
Extreme: I thought you said Shy Guys can't read!
The Freak: This guy can! He's a cool and groovy cat named Word Guy.
Extreme: You made that up. And let me guess, you guys can cook too. You stole a frying pan from Taste T. in Paper Mario also.
The Freak: We only stole it for Gourmet Guy, because he loves food. He can't cook, and we can only cook Fried Shrooms. We also add in Maple Syrup.
Extreme: So it wasn't a diversion to get Mario into Shy Guys Toybox in Chapter 4?
The Freak: It was. But that square, Princess Peach, gave us wrong information for setting up traps. She gave us items instead of baddies, so it only made things for Mario much easier to get through.
Extreme: And you guys never thought that was weird?
The Freak: Not really, man. Like, we thought it was a great idea, until we realized items couldn't attack. Then we were done for. Our pranks were for nothing when we realized a Super Soda was drinkable and didn't attack Mario.
Extreme: You mentioned Gourmet Guy. Tell me about him.
The Freak: Gourmet Guy is just a Fat Guy. However, that dude wasn't known to be fat. He was skinny! He only ate so much because we made fun of him for being so skinny, so we pretty much pranked him to be fat.
Extreme: That's awful!
The Freak: Well it's not our fault! All we did was, like, put food in a pathway, and he just ate it... also we kinda told him that it would make him skinnier.
Extreme: Kinda? He's huge!
The Freak: Yeah, funny thing that. He's really addicted to cake too, it’s the only thing that makes him move, or fly really high.
Extreme: You don't mean...
The Freak: Yeah, sugar high! The best rush of all, man!
(Crickets chirp.)
Extreme: Hmm, was expecting something more dramatic. Like, music.
DUN DUN DUN!
Extreme: It's too late now!
The Freak: Like, sugar gives all Shy Guys a sugar rush. That's what makes us all so hyper, and so mischievous for pulling pranks.
Extreme: I really take it there's no serious Shy Guy.
The Freak: Nah, there's one nark that makes things ungroovy. General Guy, from Paper Mario.
Extreme: I take it he's the leader of the Shy Guys?
The Freak: Yeah! He's the one that drafts Shy Guys into fighting. Like in Paper Mario, he sent more of us to fight Mario, but it failed horribly. Thankfully I didn't go, or else I would've been seriously hurt.
Extreme: So you went AWOL.
The Freak: Yep!
Extreme: A pranking, danceless, jobless, AWOLing hippie. So despite this question normally going first or second, what games have Shy Guys importantly been in?
The Freak: Well... Shy Guys first started from Mario Bros. 2, although it was more of a dream then it was a game. We did however appear more in games like Yoshi's Island, Paper Mario, Mario RPG, Mario and Luigi, and sports games like Mario Tennis.
Extreme: Why aren't you guys in more 3D games like Mario 64 or in Mario Galaxy?
The Freak: Like, give us a break, man. We aren't that rebellious in our lives. We just want to stick it to whoever won't let us. That's why we're normally in Mario Party or Mario Kart games. That's why we have Bandits in our place for other games.
Extreme: What about them?
The Freak: Bandits are a variation of Shy Guys. They wear masks, but they're more high level then us. They can steal things, and let us have them. It's totally groovy! Those guys know how to stick it to the man, man!
Extreme: So let me think here... so Bandits are against 'the man', who are for 'the man'.
The Freak: Exactialy! Like, there are Coin Bandits, Badge Bandits, even Item Bandits. The normal ones are the guys that try to steal Baby Mario in Yoshi's Island.
Extreme: So pretty much they’re different variations of Shy Guys.
The Freak: Yeah, we even have Baseball Boys, a variation of the Shy Guy clan. And I'd be lying if we couldn't fly... no wait, I'm totally lying, man, we so totally can!
Extreme: You mean those guys from Mario RPG?
The Freak: Yeah, man! They're Shysters, Shy Guys who don't even need balloons, and just grow wings! They are also known as Beezos, but that was back during Mario Bros. 2.
Extreme: Which 'never' happened.
The Freak: Right. To me it was like a sugar high.
Extreme: Trying to keep that PG must've been hard.
The Freak: Was it ever, man.
Extreme: Well, it's time for audience questions. You, seat 25.
Lemmy: How do people know what seat they're in?
(Extreme shrugs.)
Lakitu: Why do you guys make weird noises in Mario games?
The Freak: We don't like to talk.
Lakitu: Well you seem to be doing a lot of it.
The Freak: Ouch man, that harshed my buzz! But I'm different, and not because I'm a hippie. I like to talk about different things.
Morton: Oh so do I, like that time I went fishing, with King Dad and my brothers and sister, we never caught a thing, something about not being quiet, I couldn't tell, I was just-
The Freak: Well, not like that ungroovy nark.
Extreme: Seat 98.
Koopa: What's a nark?
The Freak: Hey man, that's not a question of Shy Guys!
Extreme: It's about you though.
The Freak: A nark is our groovy lingo of saying someone is against us or just trying to put us down to 'the man'.
Extreme: Right. Seat 47.
Goomba: Since you’re a Mufti Guy, do those flowers get watered?
The Freak: Yeah, I just go into a pond or a river and just go underwater to get them all watered. Or I just take off my hat and just water them.
Extreme: Don't hippies hate water?
The Freak: Hey man, give me some slack, I'm not that hardcore of a hippie. I'm against soap though.
Extreme: Seat 102.
Waluigi: Who's the biggest Shy Guy?
The Freak: That's Big Guy the Stilted, from Yoshi's Island DS. He's the biggest Shy Guy, from Kamek using magic to make him bigger to fight, only to lose to Yoshi. He wore stilts.
Waluigi: Wow, wouldn't have guessed that.
The Freak: Just like you’re a copy of Wario and Luigi.
Waluigi: Umm... uhh... Waluigi time!
Extreme: Way to tell him, Waluigi. Seat 9.
Bandit: What sport do Shy Guys prefer from the Mario Games?
The Freak: Well, Shy Guys like Tennis and Golfing more then anything. They aren't allowed in the Olympics because we were only allowed to watch. Personally, I don't play sports, but video games are the greatest!
Extreme: Seat 72.
Luigi: What's under that mask?
The Freak: My mask?
Extreme: Why wasn't that question asked way earlier? What is underneath that mask?
The Freak: My face.
Extreme: You actually have faces?
The Freak: Well, Shy Guys are known to be faceless, man... but my face is demented, just like any other Shy Guy... No one likes to talk about it, it's an emotional process.
Extreme: So... you’re a pranking, danceless, jobless, AWOLing, faceless hippie.
The Freak: Yeah, pretty much. Want me to show?
Extreme: No!
The Freak: Ok man, but this cat knows he's the better looking than most people.
Extreme: How so?
The Freak: The Freak has his ways.
(Two ladies come near The Freak.)
The Freak: Heeey laadiees!
Shy Girl 1: Hey there, Freak.
Shy Girl 2: Come on, let’s go to a movie or something.
Extreme: You two actually like this hippie?
Shy Girl 2: No, he just paid us.
Shy Girl 1: Besides, he knows how to have a good time too.
The Freak: Let's get sugar high, ladies!
(The Freak and the two Shy Girls leave.)
Extreme: ... Well, I think there are some questions best left unmentioned.
Lemmy: But that's your job when interviewing! You’re supposed to ask all the questions you can think of.
Extreme: Yeah but there wasn't enough time to ask them all.
Lemmy: Sure there was.
Extreme: Yeah, but I'm sure that everything worked out in the end, though.
Lemmy: Not really. Iggy's in the hospital from that blueberry pie accident, and Larry is still confused about that prank Freak pulled on him.
Larry: How did he do that? I didn't see a handle or a string... maybe it was alive!
Extreme: Man, you guys are a bunch of spoil sports. Especially you, Cannoli.
Lemmy: End transmission.
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