(Blaze and DB are walking up a staircase to the top of Lakithunders castle.)
Blaze: Sheesh, did Lemmy really HAVE to make us do an On Location Interview this time? My feet are killing me...
DB: You do know that I'm half Yoshi, right? As in, Yoshis help carry others, remember? And besides, I don't see this as a problem.
(DB pulls out his wand and taps it on the ground, and soon a Lakitu cloud forms under his feet. He chuckles as he lifts off the ground behind Blaze.)
Blaze: How can you even lift me? I'm a heavyweight, after all.
DB: Duh. I'm second strongest behind Roy.
(DB chuckles more.)
DB: How about this? I'll bet you 100 of my finest gold coins to see who can get to the top of the tower first.
Blaze: Okay, deal, but I catch you cheating and you'll regret it!
DB: Are you so sure about that? Besides, it's just first one up there. There's no way to cheat, after all. How else can we get to the top besides just going up?
Blaze: Well, for all I know, you could be using one of your little magic tricks or something to give yourself an advantage.
DB: As if I would do that. How about I promise I won't teleport myself to the top?
(DB chuckles as he makes a clone of himself.)
Blaze: Why is it that I don't quite believe you?
DB: Ready? Set? GO!
(Blaze starts running. The DB Clone begins running behind Blaze but begins to fall back, while the real DB uses the Lakitu Cloud to go out the window and to the top of the tower with no trouble. Once he arrives he gets rid of the cloud and stands next to the door.)
Blaze: (looking back) Heh, I'm winning!
(The DB Clone begins walking up the stairs slowly. The real DB begins polishing his wand while he waits for Blaze to arrive.)
Blaze: Heh, tiring out, are you?!
(Blaze runs all the way up to the top of the staircase, but is shocked to find...)
Blaze: DB?! What the...
DB: Congratulations. You finally made it. How was the run up here?
Blaze: ... Rrrrr... Fine... Here ya go...
(Blaze hands DB a bag of 100 coins. Unknown to DB, the coins are counterfeit.)
DB: Thanks. Now where is our interviewee?
Blaze: Eh... he should be here momentarily... Ah, there's my crew... eh... half of it.
(Kamek flies in.)
Kamek: Am I too late?
Blaze: No, you're right on time, actually. Can't say the same for Hooktail. Where IS that big lizard, anyway?
Kamek: Don't ask me. I'm not her caretaker. In other words, I don't really care! Now, can we get this over with already?!
(DB notices lighting coming towards them.)
DB: I think that would be our interviewee. Oh, and Lemmy told me before we left that we have to pay him in advance for appearing. Can't forget that.
Blaze: Ugh... Whatever…
(Lakithunder descends from the sky in front of them and electrocutes Blaze for no apparent reason.)
Blaze: Didididididididididi!!! What was THAT for?!
Lakithunder: Nothing personal. It's just what I do.
Blaze: But why me?
Lakithunder: Because you were the biggest target to hit from where I was.
Blaze: ... Well, while we wait for Hooktail, I guess me should get this underway. DB, you ask the first question.
DB: So how long have you been keeping an eye on this tower?
Lakithunder: Since Bowser hired me, and I'll keep watching this tower 'til the day I die.
Blaze: But wait… Didn't Mario kill you in NSMB?
Lakithunder: Yeah, but we've got some healing Magikoopas.
Blaze: ... Kamek?
Kamek: I have nothing to do with this. Honest.
Blaze: Hmph... Well, anyway, what do you like to do?
Lakithunder: I like creating thunderstorms and electrocuting birds as they pass by, just for laughs.
Kamek: Bird shocking? Sounds like an interesting sport.
(Kamek sees a "bird" flying very high overhead.)
Kamek: Aha!
(Kamek blasts, and the "bird" falls down and crashes in front of him.
Parakarry: Ow!
Kamek: ... You're not a bird!
Parakarry: Yer darn tootin'...
DB: That was odd... but funny. Next question. Do you ever take breaks? Like go shopping for anything or even to get a bite to eat? Oh, and that reminds me…
(DB tosses the bag of 100 fake coins to Lakithunder.)
DB: There's your pay. Blaze gave them to me for a bet we had which I won but I left the other bag of coins back at the castle. So it's coming out of Blaze's pocket, so thank him, not me.
(Blaze laughs quietly.)
Lakithunder: Thanks. Anyway, I barbeque all the birds I kill, but I don't shop, except on Ebay.
(Hooktail flies in.)
Blaze: It's about time you got here. What kept you?!
Hooktail: Sorry, I was at the doctor.
Blaze: What for?
Hooktail: Stomach sickness, but I'm fine now.
Blaze: Yeah yeah, okay, fine, whatever, I don't care, NEXT QUESTION! You having lightning powers and all, do you still have any use for Spinies?
Lakithunder: Spinies?! Pfft! Who needs 'em? I'm not like those weaker Lakitus that Bowser always uses. You'd think Bowser would still want me, but no. He fired me after I lost to Mario.
DB: Well King Dad IS picky, and he rarely gives second chances, after all.
(DB looks to the sky and sees a Flying Yoshi and a familiar figure riding it.)
DB: Oh no... Son of a Goomba... How about that figure in the sky? Show us the power of your electricity by shooting it down. And as for my real question, how many volts does the average strike of your thunder produce?
Lakithunder: Around 20,000, and I'd be happy to give you a sample of my power.
(Lakithunder blasts a lightning bolt upward at the flying object, which falls and crashes on top of the injured Parakarry. Parakarry and the winged Yoshi are knocked out.)
Mario: Woo-hoo! It's-a me!
Blaze: Great... What are YOU doing here?
Mario: ... I forgot...
??? ???: BLAAAAZE!!!
(Shy Guy runs up from the stairs.)
Shy Guy: Im'a keel you!
Blaze: ... Uh... Hooktail, didn't you eat him?
Hooktail: Well, remember when I said I had stomach sickness?
Blaze: I don't want to know! Wait, why are the people I hate suddenly appearing out of nowhere?
(Blaze throws Mario and Shy Guy off the roof.)
Shy Guy: AAAAAAAAH!
Mario: LINGUINIIIIIIIII!!
Blaze: There we go.
(Mario falls while sticking out his tongue. He gets an evil smirk and grabs the Shy Guy with his tongue and swings him into the window while Blaze isn't looking.)
DB: Just forget those two. But what's with that Shy Guy? Oh, here's another question. What species would you say is your greatest ally at this time?
Lakithunder: None. I'm a loner now.
Blaze: Cool. All right, I'm getting bored. Time for audience questions!
Kamek: Uh... Blaze?
Blaze: What?
Kamek: There's no audience up here.
Blaze: ... Wha... DANG IT! We forgot to advertise! AAAAAARGH!!!
(Blaze starts stomping angrily and repeatedly, making the floor shake.
Lakithunder: Hey! Stop that before you-
(The floor breaks under Blaze's feet. Blaze falls in.)
Blaze: Dang dang dang dang dang DAAAAANG!!!
(Blaze lands on his head.)
Blaze: Ow! This day just can't get any worse...
(Shy Guy comes up.)
Shy Guy: This is it! Now I'm gonna make you pay!
(Shy Guy jumps on Blaze and starts pathetically grabbing and tugging on his beak.)
Blaze: *sigh*
DB: Well, while Blaze is gone, I guess we could just use magic. *to Kamek* How about this? We both take turns poofing others up here and make them ask questions.
Kamek: Right. Here we go.
(Kamek holds up his wand and summons Goombella.)
Goombella: And so I said to him... Huh...? Wait, where am I?
Kamek: You! Ask the Lakitu a question, now!
Goombella: Will you send me back if I do?
Kamek: Yes, now shut up and ask a question!
Goombella: Fine. Do you surf?
Lakithunder: ... Um... no?
Kamek: What kind of question is that?
Goombella: A QUESTION, now send me back this instant!
Kamek: Fine...
(Kamek shoots Goombella with the wand. Goombella disappears, then reappears over the edge of the tower.)
Goombella: I hate you...
(Goombella falls. DB summons Waluigi.)
DB: Question. Ask. Now. Or else!
Waluigi: Wha... Okay... uh... Do you surf?
Lakithunder: ...
Kamek: Well, THAT'S a coincidence...
(DB uses his tongue to catch Waluigi and spits him out off of the tower.)
DB: GET OUT OF HERE!
Waluigi: AAAAAAAAH!!!
Kamek: Gross... Okay, last one...
(Kamek summons Popple.)
Popple: Huh? What just-
Kamek: Question. Lakitu. Now. And if you ask him if he surfs, I'll kill you!
Popple: Okay, fine... What's your favorite element?
Lakithunder: Finally, a question that's not stupid! Lightning of course, but out of the four main elements, I'd say wind.
Kamek: Good, you're done. Goodbye!
Popple: Wha-
(Kamek throws Popple off the roof.)
Hooktail: Why'd you throw HIM off?
Kamek: I just wanted to. Anyway, I guess that's it then...
DB: Well where is Blaze?
(DB looks down the hole to see if Blaze is down there. He sees the Shy Guy beating on him.)
DB: We can ether leave him or help him... I choose help.
(DB jumps down the hole with a ground pound just like Bowser's but misses by accident and ends up landing on Blaze's chest.)
Blaze: HUUWEEEAAH!!! Nice move, doofus...
DB: I'm not the one being beat up by a Shy Guy. The only thing they’re good for is Yoshi Food... Though I am sort of hungry...
(DB looks at Shy Guy with a smile. He suddenly lashes out his tongue at the wannabe hitman.)
Shy Guy: NNNOOOOOOO!!! I'LL BE BACK, BLAZE KOO-
(DB eats the Shy Guy and burps up a part of his robe and wipes his mouth with it.)
DB: Good riddance... Oh, it's time to end this, isn't it?
Blaze: Yeah, we're done... Just don't tell Lemmy that we forgot the advertisements.
DB: Don't tell him I forgot the gold coins in the first place.
Blaze: Agreed... So... uh... What now?
DB: I heard there's a match at Yoshi Park in Baseball Kingdom between Yoshi and Wario. I got two tickets. Wario is down a player so it's going to be a good matchup.
Blaze: Sweet! Forget Lemmy! Let's go!
(DB waves his wand as both of them disappear.)
(Meanwhile, Lakithunder is on Ebay.)
Lakithunder: Sweet! I got a whole stereo set!
(Lakithunder sends the counterfeit coins through the mail.)
Lakithunder: Now I just have to wait!
Two days later...
Lakithunder: My stereo should arrive today!
(Two cops burst into the tower.)
Cop 1: Are you Lakithunder?
Lakithunder: Uh... Yes?
(The cops cuff him.)
Cop 2: You're being arrested for counterfeiting! You have the right to remain silent!
Lakithunder: WHAT?! What's going-
Cop 2: I said remain silent!
Lakithunder: Ah crud...
Cop 2: SHUT UP!!!
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