Camera Lakitu: 3… 2... 1… Action!
Foodius Maximus: Hey, Shrexy, wanna do drugs?
Shrexy: No way! Remember kids, just say no!
Camera Lakitu: Good!
Anti Dude: What are you guys doing?
Shrexy: A commercial shoot!
Anti Dude: OUT!
(Petey walks in.)
Petey: Who am I interviewing?
Anti Dude: We were gonna do Bouldergeist, but…
(Flashback)
(Anti Dude and Bouldergeist are standing next to each other.)
Anti Dude: If your hand is bigger than you face, it’s a sign of low intelligence.
Bouldergeist: Really?
Anti Dude: Yup.
(Bouldergeist puts his hand on his face. Anti Dude shoves it forward. The rocks shoot out in different directions and his uvula flies back, damaging his face.)
Anti Dude: Whoops… heh heh…
(Flashback over)
Anti Dude: We won’t talk about that. You are interviewing someone much better, Mario. Mario? I wanna do this!
Baron von Bone: But we still need to find another interviewee.
Anti Dude: We don’t need to!
Baron: Oh well. Too bad.
(They leave.)
Petey: Hi everybody!
Audience: Hi, Dr. Nick!
Petey: Grumble. Today I will interview Mario.
(Mario comes onstage.)
Petey: Did you really go to Earth? Are you really a Toad?
Mario: I never went to Earth. Those games were in lesser known areas of the MK. No, my parents are humans.
Petey: Wasn’t that P.T.’s answer?
Mario: Maybe.
Petey: What’s with the color red?
Mario: it’s my fave!
Petey: Was that hat custom made?
Mario: Yes. By my granny Maria Mario.
Petey: Do you still have F.L.U.D.D?
Mario: Yes, I do.
Petey: Are your adventures tiring?
Mario: They sure are! After Dimentio and all, I slept like a baby.
Petey: What is your opinion on Luigi?
Mario: He is very kind and smart.
Petey: Why’d you switch overalls and shirts?
Mario: They got too small.
()
Anti Dude: Next!
Baron: Have a consolation sponge.
(A sad-looking Snifit leaves. A Gloomba comes in.)
Gloomba: If Pi equals the radius times the diameter, add the exponents, carry the one, and your answer is 8,344,645,498,004.
Anti Dude: Duhhhhhhhh?
Baron: Nope. Have a consolation blender.
Anti Dude: Where do you get these things? And why is my wallet empty?
()
Petey: That was weird.
Phil: Why haven’t I spoken for so long?
Petey: Shaddup. Are you and the princess dating?
Mario: Yes.
Bowser (in seat REALLYMADEVILKING): NOOOOOOOOOO-
Mario: Um… But we just broke up. Yeah, that’s it.
Bowser: Okay.
Mario: (Whew.)
Petey: What was your favorite adventure?
Mario: The one where I went to Flipside. I loved the music when I fought Dimentio.
Petey: Are you and Luigi really twins?
Mario: Yes. I’m older by 3 minutes and 14 seconds.
Luigi (in seat YOUNGERBROTHER): I want to be older!
Mario: Too bad.
Petey: Who was you’re toughest villain?
Mario: Dimentio. Although his batt-
Petey: We know. Should we make a cutscene?
Mario: Yes, we should.
()
Anti Dude: This is a family friendly website! Yuck!
(A trapdoor opens under a,,, You don’t wanna know. Eww.)
Baron von Bone: Next!
Generic Pidgit: Can you count to three with me?
Anti Dude: One, two…
Baron von Bone: Three! Ha ha!
(A trapdoor opens beneath the Pidgit.)
()
Petey: In Super Mario Galaxy, most enemies are bigger than you. True?
Mario: Nintendo did that to show off graphics, and so some smaller enemies could be seen. Some really were bigger, though.
Petey: How do you feel about Super Mario Galaxy?
Mario: It was my favorite.
Petey: You said SPM was!
Mario: DON’T QUESTION ME!
Petey: You’re the interviewee!
Mario: Not anymore!
(He runs away. Anti Dude and Baron von Bone come in.)
Lemmy: Anyone?
Anti Dude: As a matter of fact…
(A singing chicken comes in.)
Lemmy: 0.o
Baron von Bone: I’d like to introduce…
(A tan-colored Squeek comes in wearing a sombrero and carrying a whip. He rides an Ostro.)
Squeek: Hola, seńores and senoritas! I am Squeeky Gonzales! I am fastest mouse in all of the Dry Dry Desert!
Crew (minus Anti Dude and the Baron): 0.o
Lemmy: 0.o
Squeeky: Is something wrong, senores?
Aurora: Hi… <3
Squeeky: Hey, senores, you got any more babes?
Anti Dude: She’s mine!
Squeeky: Not anymore!
(End Transmission!)
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