One day Toad was at Peach's Castle, doing what Toads do for Princess Peach, working for basically nothing.
Toad: All right, I'm quitting this job.
Green Toad: But what will you do?
Yellow Toad: You can't get anywhere else with your application skills.
Toad: Hey, I can get a better job than all of the Toads in here, and that's that!
Peach: Hey Toad, stop talking and get back to work, because if you don't, you’re fired!
Toad: You stupid woman, I quit!
Peach: Fine!
Toad: Fine!
Peach: Fine!
Toad: Fine!
Peach: Fi-
Toadsworth: Shut up already, and leave us all alone! *ahem* Anyways, good luck, Toad... *breaks up laughing* Ho ho, I can't say that with a straight face.
So Toad, being angry, storms out of the castle to look for work. He decides to look for work at the post office. Toad gets there, and sees Parakarry.
Parakarry: Hi, I'm Parakarry, I deliver letters.
Toad: Yeah yeah, are there any jobs I can take?
Parakarry: No way, you’re not taking my job!
Toad: But your job is so pointless!
Parakarry: But I deliver letters, it's something to be proud of.
Toad: Look, either I get a job, or I'll make sure I get yours.
Parakarry: Well there's a job opening at the airport... Hey, maybe you could become an airline guy!
Toad: You mean a steward?
Parakarry: What's that?
Toad: Basically an airline guy, you idiot... Well I'm going to get that job!
Toad quickly runs to the Mushroom Kingdom Airport, until...
Toad: Wait a minute, we don't HAVE an airport!
Still walking but confused, he finally sees a sign for the airport.
Toad: (reading) Welcome to the Mushroom Kingdom Airport (Opened just today) (not reading) How weird is that...
Toad goes into the building, and goes up the clerk.
Toad: I wanna become a steward.
Clerk: Sorry, but do you have any experience?
Toad: I've been working with Princess Peach for many years.
Clerk: All right, you pass, now get on the plane leaving for Yoshi's Island.
Toad: ... Yoshi's Island has an airport?
Clerk: Opened today.
Toad: This makes no sense whatsoever!
So, Toad finally starts his job as a steward for the Mushroom Kingdom Airline. As everyone gets settled, the plane sets off for Yoshi's Island.
Luigi: Hey, Mr. Airline Guy.
Toad: I'm a steward, and use the buzzer, sir.
Luigi: But I'm Luigi.
Toad: I don't care, what do you want?
Luigi: I want some airline peanuts.
Toad throws him a pack.
Toad: There, eat.
Luigi: Gee thanks...
Toad: Whatever.
*Buzz*
Toad: Who buzzed?
Wario: Wario needs his pillow fluffed!
Toad: Can't you do it yourself?
Wario: *laugh* Wahaha! You’re hilarious.
Toad: That's what I'm told...
*Buzz*
Luigi: Toad!
Toad: What now?
Luigi: I need help opening my peanuts.
Toad grabs the bag and cuts the top open.
Toad: There!
He gves the peanuts to Luigi.
Toad: Eat.
Luigi: But I need a glass of water.
Toad gives him a water bottle.
Toad: Drink and be merry.
*Buzz*
E. Gadd: I need a book to read.
Toad: Why do you need to go to Yoshi's Island?
E. Gadd: Why are you an airline guy?
Toad: I'm a steward.
E. Gadd: You look like a Fred to me.
Toad gives him a book.
Toad: Read!
E. Gadd: But I need a book about science.
Toad: Well read this book on birds.
E. Gadd: I already did.
Toad: What about the one on car parts?
E. Gadd: I'm a scientist, not a mechanic.
Toad: Yeah, well I'm a steward here for whatever your "wantings" are, so read something already.
E. Gadd: But I already said you look like a Fre-
Toad: Read!
*Buzz*
Toad: What?
Koopa: I want a sandwich.
Toad: We have Chicken, Pepperoni, Cheese, Ham, Ham and Swiss, Grilled Cheese, Mushroom, Pork, Vegetarian, and Cucumber to name a few.
Koopa: Do you have Peanut Butter and Jelly?
Toad takes half a sandwich from Kamek.
Kamek: My other half of my Peanut Butter and Jelly!
Toad gives it to the Koopa.
Toad: Eat and be merry.
*Buzz*
Morton: I want to eat some pepperoni, because it's so good, and it's nice to eat when you’re craving pepperoni, like those long sticks that you can eat from, and when you’re full, you can save it for later-
*Buzz*
Shy Guy: Can I have some duct tape?
Toad: For?
Shy Guy: To shut this guy up?
Toad: Gladly.
Toad passes duct tape to the Shy Guy, who duct tapes Morton’s mouth shut and takes his pepperoni.
After a few minutes, the passengers disembark, and new passengers arrive on the plane, as it then takes off for the Beanbean Kingdom. Shortly after, it arrives, and the plane soon enough takes a long trip back to the Mushroom Kingdom... Long.
*Buzz*
Toad: *sigh* What now?
Luigi: I need some more airline peanuts.
Toad: It's just peanuts, all right?
Luigi: Well I want some more.
Toad: Why are you stoll on this plane?
Luigi: Mario kicked me out of the house for a few days, so I might as well slack off for a bit.
Toad throws Luigi a bag of peanuts/
Toad: There.
*Buzz*
Luigi: I need it opened.
Toad opens the bag of peanuts.
Toad: I expect this from someone like Mario, or maybe even Kamek.
Luigi: Did you not hear what I said? I'm slacking off today.
*Buzz*
Mario: Toad, I need a blanket!
Toad: Wait, what are you doing here?
Mario: I'm taking the day off.
Luigi: But Mario-
Mario: I said I'm taking the day off!
Toad takes a blanket away from Lord Crump.
Lord Crump: Buh- Aww...
Toad: There, your blanket.
*Buzz*
Lord Crump: I want another blanket.
Toad takes a blanket from Kamek
Toad: There.
*Buzz*
Kamek: I want another Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich, and I want another blanket!
Toad: *sigh* This is not my night...
He gives Kamek a blanket and a sandwich.
*Buzz*
Morton: Mmmph mmph mph mmm mmmmph.
Toad: What did he say?
Shy Guy: Mmmph mmph mph mmm mmmmph.
Toad whacks Shy Guy with the pepperoni stick.
Shy Guy: Aw man, you broke it.
Toad gives him another one.
Toad: There, eat!
*Buzz*
Toad: What?
Goomba: I can't reach my headphones.
Toad: You don't have any arms... or any ears.
Goomba: ... What?
Toad: Never-
Goomba: What?
Toad: *groan* Here, I've turned on the captions, now you'll know what they're saying.
Goomba: What?
Toad points to the TV, which now shows the words. All in the Family is on. --- Archie: You meathead you, can't you do anything right?!
Mike: Gosh Arch, I'm sorry...
Archie: You broke my favorite chair! What am I going to sit on now, the couch?
Edith: We could-
Archie: Stifle yourself, dingbat!
Gloria: But Daddy, why can't you do anything simple?
Archie: Because that's MY chair!
Stretch: *comes in* Hiya Archie!
Archie: Aren’t you dead?
Stretch: Oh yeah... *walks away*
Archie: I want a new chair, or fix it yourself.
Mike: But it's time for supper.
Archie: You meathead you. Always supper, before doing anything else! --- *Buzz*
Iggy: I need some new glasses.
Toad: This is so stupid, why aren’t people asking for simple things? Where in the world am I going to get glasses?
Toad randomly finds a pair of glasses that are already Iggy's.
Iggy: That is my ruined pair.
Toad: I found, I gave, be happy.
*Buzz**Buzz**Buzz*
Toad: ... Who buzzed three times?
Fawful: I am starving of the hungriness of hunger.
Toad: All we have is sandwiches.
Fawful: I will have a sandwich of the mustard of deliciousness, smacked of wonderful goodness.
Toad: ... Roast beef it is.
Toad gets Fawful his snack, and is soon interrupted by another buzz.
*Buzz*
Count Cannoli: Hey, airline guy, I want some airline peanuts.
Toad: I'm a steward, and they're just peanuts.
Count Cannoli: You look like a Phil to me.
Toad throws him a bag of peanuts.
Wario: Cannoli?! What are you doing here?
Count Cannoli: I'm here for no reason really, on for a vacation, then back to thieving, Purple Swine!
Wario: Shut up, Count Cockroach, you can't thief if you were a thief, that's how bad you are!
Count Cannoli: That made no sense whatsoever, Purple Idiot!
Wario: Doesn't matter, because the Purple Wind is here to cause your failure-ness, Count Cruddy!
Count Cannoli: Of course it does; you stole my wand, never gave it back, and I want to at least have something to have, Purple Fatty!
Toad: Both of you, shut up!
Wario and Count Cannoli: (pointing at each other) He started it!
Toad: *long sigh*
Morning comes, and the plane is still a few hours away from Toad Town. Toad wakes up and yawns.
Toad: Gees, hopefully it's a better day than it was-
*Buzz*
Toad: *groan* What?
Bowser: I'm here to takeover this plane!
Toad: Go away, Bowser, go hijack another plane.
Bowser: Well can I at least read the paper?
Toad gives him a newspaper.
*Buzz*
Wario: My pillow still hasn't been fluffed!
Toad: Get Waluigi to do it!
*Buzz*
Waluigi: Can you fluff Wario's pillow?
Toad: No. Next time if you have something important, then call for me.
*Buzz*
Toad: What?!
Wario: I need the bathroom.
Toad: *groan* It's in the back.
*Buzz*
Ludwig: I want something nice to drink.
Toad: Such as...?
Ludwig: Apple juice.
Toad throws him a package of apple juice.
Toad: There.
Ludwig: How do you do that, getting items from nowhere?
Toad: I have no clue...
*Buzz*
Popple: I want stuff.
Toad: Stuff?
Popple: I'm a thief.
Count Cannoli: I'm a better thief than him.
Wario: You’re both wrong, Wario is the best thief of them all, The Purple Wind! Silent but Deadly! And notice my use of exclamation marks as well!
Toad: You are all bad thieves, shut up and only buzz if there is something important.
*Buzz*
Mario: I want some bacon.
Toad: Where are we going to get bacon from? Do you even know where bacon comes from?
Mario: A cow.
Toad: ...
*Buzz*
Kamek: I want some milk.
Toad: Can't you create some yourself?
Kamek shrugs. Toad finds a random carton of milk.
Toad: There, drink it.
Kamek: Are you sure? It smells like it's spoiled... And look, it says "Best before April 5, 1975".
Toad: Well, how there's a 34-year-old carton of milk that's on a plane built a few days ago is beyond me.
Kamek drinks the milk, and suddenly faints into a state of unconsciousness.
*Buzz*
Morton: Mmmph mmph-
*Buzz*
Bowser: I don't have the funnies.
Toad: It's called comics.
Bowser: Oh yeah, well you’re an airline guy!
Toad: I'm a steward!
Bowser: No way, you’re more of a midget.
Toad: Midget? I'm a Toad!
Bowser: No wait, you can't be a midget.
Toad: Thank you.
Bowser: You’re an emwok!
Toad gives Bowser a comic book, all ripped up.
Bowser: Aww man, now I can't tell what Jughead is saying to Archie... And Mr. Lodge is yelling at Archie, but I don't know what he's saying.
*Buzz*
Larry: I want to watch The Three Stooges.
Toad: *sigh* Mario, do something...
Mario: Okie-dokie!
Mario goes into the cockpit and sees the two pilots flying the plane, and rips one of the monitors out of the controls and brings it to Larry.
Mario: Here you go!
Toad: ... Mario, you idiot!
Suddenly the plane stops flying and goes down fast, everyone screaming. Toad goes to the bathroom and hides there.
Toad: Oh, why can't I have a normal job?!
Bowser comes in and spots Toad.
Bowser: Hey, I found this first!
Bowser flushes Toad down the toilet and Toad goes out of the plane and crashes into Peach's Castle, where he falls on top of Toadsworth. A few hours later, both of them get up.
Toadsworth: My my, Toad, it's good to see you again.
Toad: What happened to the plane?
Toadsworth: Apparently from my unknown sources, the plane crashed but everyone was alive, except for your boss, Mr. Worth, who got badly injured and was sent to the hospital. He fired you, and you’re not getting a paycheck.
Toad: ... How much would I have got?
Toadsworth: Over 1,000 coins.
Toad goes over to a wall and bangs his head on it over and over again.
Toad: Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Peach: Toad, bring me the remote, I want to watch TV.
Toad goes over and hands her the remote control.
Peach: I'm so glad you considered coming back to work for me.
Toad grumbles and goes back to washing dishes.
Peach: Oh yeah, sorry about your job as an airline guy.
Toad: For the last time, I was a steward!
Peach: Well, you look like a Carl to me.
Toad pauses, then goes back to doing the dishes. Peach turns on the TV to watch The Three Stooges. --- Moe: All right chowder heads, it's time to open up the shop, we need money.
Larry: Yeah, we need "Moe" money! *laugh*
Moe slaps Larry on the head.
Moe: Shut up.
Curly laughs. Moe tries to poke his eyes. Curly counters by placing his hands sideways on his face, but he ends up getting his stomach punched and then his eyes poked.
Curly: One of these days, Moe!
Moe: One of these days what?
Curly: Nothing.
Bank Owner: Get out, you've bankrupted me!
The owner has a gun and starts shooting at the Stooges, but misses with all of his shots. Larry throws a rock at the owner, causing a shelf out of nowhere to collapse and a vase falls on the owner’s head, knocking him out. The Three Stooges continue to run, and the credits roll.
Whoops! You're not logged in! |