Dark Koopa: Hello, and welcome to...

...

Dark Koopa: Where's Lemmy?

Thumbs: I dunno.

Dark Koopa: Cool, I'll finally say it! Welcome to-

(Lemmy speeds into the studio.)

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Thumbs: (to Pink) Told ya he'd show. Five bucks.

Mario: Dang it!

Dark Koopa: So, which poor sap are we interviewing today?

Thumbs: Grodus's head- Did you say we?

Dark Koopa: I have aluminum foooiil.

Thumbs: Dang it, I can't resist the aluminum foil.

Bullet Bill: Aluminum!

Dark Koopa: Well, you get it if you help. And Pink, kill the Bill.

Thumbs: Fine, I'll do it. One of these days I'll learn that I can buy my own aluminum foil.

Bullet Bill: Aluminu-

Pink: Take that!

Bullet Bill: Alumin- Ow!

Dark Koopa: I guess we should start then.

Grodus: Ow! My head!

Thumbs: That's all you have left. Why is that?

Grodus: That accursed Shadow Queen destroyed my body with that purple lightning of hers.

Dark Koopa: Purple? I can grow to like this person.

Thumbs: You killed her already.

Dark Koopa: I did? I should pay attention in these shows.

Pink: I did it actually.

Dark Koopa: I'm gonna go with what I heard first.

Thumbs: ... *evil grin* And you murdered a balloon too!

Dark Koopa: NOOO!

Thumbs: And then you killed 300 people on a bus!

Dark Koopa: No way! How do you get 300 people on a bus?!

Grodus: Is this the “Dark Koopa and Thumbs Argue Show” or the “Ask Grodus Questions Beyond Your Comprehension Show”?

Thumbs: I thought it was Lemmy's Interview Show...

Lemmy: Lemmy's Inter- Yaaah!

(Lemmy gets chased around by Pink.)

Dark Koopa: That's gonna leave a mark afterward.

Thumbs: You can say that again.

Dark Koopa: I know, but I'm not going to.

Grodus: Interview me, darn it!

Thumbs: Who's this guy?

Dark Koopa: No one important.

Thumbs: Ah, ok.

(Grodus's head begins fuming.)

Dark Koopa: Uh... your head seems to be fuming.

(I just said that.)

Thumbs: Who's there?

(Boo.)

Thumbs: I'm scared.

Dark Koopa: Yeah, why is the ceiling talking?

Grodus: Are you going to make friends with the woodwork or talk to me?

Dark Koopa and Thumbs: Woodwork.

Several hours later...

Thumbs: It hasn't responded for hours.

Dark Koopa: I guess we'll have to talk to the stupid head then.

Thumbs: Aww...

Grodus: Are you done yet? Because I'm going to kill both of you in a matter of moments!

Dark Koopa: Oh yeah, how you gonna do that? I could probably squash you with my foot.

Grodus: I'm the head of the X-Naut army!

(Thumbs starts to chuckle.)

Grodus: What are you laughing at?!

Thumbs: Head. That's a good one

Grodus: Grr...

Dark Koopa: It's good to see you've gotten a-head in life.

(Thumbs presses a button and a laugh track starts up.)

Dark Koopa: Ok, I'm done now.

Grodus: Are you?

Dark Koopa: ... Nope.

Thumbs: Next question. Why is your base on the moon?

Grodus: I have a top secret army. Where else am I gonna hide it?

Dark Koopa: Underground.

Thumbs: In the sky.

Grodus: Those hideouts cost too much.

Dark Koopa: My secret base... I mean, cookie factory didn’t cost me a thing to put underground.

Thumbs: And my fight clu- I mean happy fun gymnasium only cost me a couple of coins in the sky.

Grodus: You guys must have gotten those places off of eBay or something.

Dark Koopa and Thumbs: How did you know?

(Mario starts singing the eBay song.)

Thumbs: Yay! The talking ceiling's back!

Dark Koopa: Pink!

(Pink beats up Mario and the talking ceiling. Ow...)

Dark Koopa: So where did you come up with the name "X-Naut"?

Grodus: Well, I really like the letter X.

Thumbs: ... That's it?

Grodus: Well, my army's nothing but a bunch of juggernauts...

(The X-Men burst into the studio)

Pink: Yay! X-Nauts versus X-Men!

Wolverine: We were the first Xs!

Grodus: That's a lie!

Thumbs: We'll see about that. How long have the X-Nauts been around?

Grodus: We've been around since Yoshi's Island, building our base on the moon.

Thumbs: Really?

Grodus: Why do you think Kamek went there?

Dark Koopa: What about Rapheal?

Grodus: That wasn't a real moon...

Thumbs: My whole life is a lie.

Pink: So is mine.

Yellow: And mine!

Dark Koopa; Mine isn't! Yay!

(Everyone glares at Dark Koopa.)

Dark Koopa: I mean it is!

Thumbs: So, how were you created? You look like a computer kinda.

Grodus: I was created by a powerful brilliant robot. Some call him Smithy.

Pink: What do others call him?

Grodus: Jim.

Dark Koopa: I call him "moron".

Morton: You called?

Dark Koopa: That joke is older than my grandma.

Morton: I have a grandma too, ya know. But I don't remember her name. But I do remember my mom's name. Her name is Clawdia. I also have a sister named Wendy, and a cousin named Susan. My brothers' names are-

Dark Koopa: Pink!

Morton: Eep!

(Painful screams are heard.)

Thumbs: Why'd Smithy create you?

Grodus: He wanted to get revenge on Mario.

Dark Koopa: But I thought you didn't know who Mario was.

Grodus: He only gave me a description of Mario. He didn't give me his name...

Thumbs: What's the deal with Crump? Why keep him around?

Grodus: He may be a weak-minded fool, but he usually gets the job done. That is, until Mario came around.

Mario: Haha!

Pink: I thought I killed you already. *SLAP*

Mario: Owowowow!

Grodus: Aren't you going to ask me about the Shadow Sirens?

Thumbs: No.

Dark Koopa: Next question. What about the Shadow Sirens?

Thumbs: ...

Dark Koopa: I love doing that.

Grodus: They discovered my base and told me of an ancient treasure you obtain from the Crystal Stars. They agreed to help me find it if they got some.

Thumbs: But there was no treasure...

Grodus: Yeah, they're good liars.

Dark Koopa: I'll say. They just sold me a used car!

(An explosion is heard outside.)

Dark Koopa: Darn it! They told me that engine was drawn on!

Thumbs: Um... Do you have any future plans for getting revenge on Mario or something?

Dark Koopa: I'll say I do.

Thumbs: Not you, Grodus.

Grodus: Not now. I'm more concerned about getting my body back!

Dark Koopa: Now now, don't get a-head of yourself.

(Grodus blasts Dark Koopa with a lightning bolt.)

Dark Koopa: Ow...

Grodus: (to Thumbs) Any more head jokes?

Thumbs: Not that I can think of.

Dark Koopa: Now I must ask how you can still do that lightning stuff without a body.

Groudus: It's all done with the wonders of Science.

Dark Koopa: Boo!

Bill Nye the Science guy: Science rules!

Dark Koopa: Magic all the way!

Bill Bill Bill Bill!

Thumbs: Now the ceiling is singing?

(Grodus blasts the ceiling with lightning. Ow again.)

Pink: How dare you do my job?!

Dark Koopa: Hmm, do you like Yoshis?

Grodus: What are these "Yoshis" you speak of?

Dark Koopa: Never mind.

Pink: Grr...

Thumbs: Hey, Dark, what do you call a disembodied head about to be beaten up by a Pink Yoshi?

Dark Koopa: I dunno. What do you call one?

Thumbs: Grodus! Hahahaha!

...

Dark Koopa: I don't get it.

(Thumbs turns on the laugh track again)

Thumbs: Forget it. Pink, do that thing you do with the eyes and the beating our interviewees up.

(Pink's eyes turn that icy color and Grodus's head gets a beating.)

Dark Koopa: That might cause brain damage.

Grodus: Hey! I know what Yoshis are now! One of them helped Mario!

Dark Koopa: Or not.

(Pink grabs a bat and hits Grodus's head through the ceiling. Ow!)

Thumbs: Well, we'll try to get our magic talking ceiling repaired by next time.

Bill Nye: Science!

Pink: Homerun!

Bowser: Hey! No basketball terms!

Dark Koopa: That's a BASEBALL term.

Mario: Two points!

Pink: Looks like I'm going for a grand slam.

Dark Koopa: ARGH! Shut up!

Thumbs: Well, I guess that's all for today. See you next time on-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Pink: Everyone just wants a beating today I see.

Lemmy: Nooo! End transmission!

Pink: Darn it.