Queen Sunny’s Sky Palace, Throne Room, June 22, 8:00 AM
Stanley: It’s been awhile since I’ve been mentioned…
Roy: I swear… once I find the guy who wrote those wills and kicked me and my siblings out…
Stanley: Last I checked, you were the only Koopaling that was literally kicked out. You should be thankful Sunny gave all of you a large amount of land at all. To get past the hostility, want to be interviewed?
Roy: (grumbling) Fine. As long as I get to beat up someone afterwards.
Stanley: Um, fine. Now for the audience… Connor!
(A green-robed Magikoopa warps in random people.)
Connor: If anyone else needs me, I’m behind the camera.
Stanley: Ok. First up, why did you change your shell in NSMBW?
Roy: Ever hear the expression “real men wear pink”?
Stanley: Yeah…
Roy: Well, it’s not true. I got tired of everyone making fun of me for nearly 20 years, so I changed it.
Stanley: I see. So why do you wear shades all the time even though it seems like you don’t really visit here anymore?
Roy: Huh. I guess you could say that after spending so much time here in the first attack, I got used to it… The sunlight here was brutal.
Stanley: It still is in the summertime. You gotta have good sunblock. Now, how come you had a different name in the cartoons?
Roy: Me and my siblings were given our different names to reflect our personalities.
Queen Sunny (in seat MEDIATOR): (Man, was DiC right.)
Stanley: Last question and it’s time for the audience. There’s a rumor that you’ve taken steroids for buffness. Is this true?
Roy: WHAT THE?! I thought everyone gave up on that joke!
Stanley: Apparently not. Seat MYFIRSTAPPEARANCEWASINAJAPANONLYGAME!
Wanda: Favorite color?
Roy: Orange.
Stanley: Cool. Seat I’MTHEREASONMARIOEXISTSINTHEFIRSTPLACE!
Cranky Kong: And proud of it, kid! Why do you like beating your siblings up?
Roy: It’s not me that’s doing it.
Cranky: If it’s not you, then who…?
(He hears Beldam in the audience, cackling.)
Cranky: Never mind.
Stanley: So she possessed you? She’ll get hers eventually. Seat OBSESSEDDBZFAN!
Veganto: Do you like chocolate?
Roy: YOU FOOL!!!
Ludwig: CHOCOLAAAAATE!!! CHOCOLAAAATE!!! CHOC-
(He gets beaten into a bloody pulp by Roy – the real Roy.)
Roy: I hate running gags.
Jazzman (in seat REALMUSICIAN): You and me both. Where’s the snack table?
Stanley: To the far left of you. It’s the table with the red cloth.
Jazzman: Thanks. Excuse me.
(He leaves his seat to grab a Jelly Ultra.)
Roy: Seat MYBOSSBATTLEHADMOREFLAWSTHANWART’S!
Dimentio: Calypso keeps making fun of me for that. Anyway, why‘d you wear blue in SMW?
Roy: Because my other shell was being cleaned out. It smelled like rotten cabbage for some reason…
Wendy: Probably because Morton stuffed a moldy chicken sandwich in it.
Stanley: I smell a rat. Last question and cut. Seat RABBITMAGICIAN!
Bianca: You didn’t see Ripto anywhere, did you?
Roy: No, why?
Bianca: Because he may try to-
(Smithy and Exor fall through the ceiling.)
Bianca: Oh, crud...
(She leaves.)
Exor: This castle is now property of the Smithy Gang. GET OUT!!!
Roy: Yeah? You and what army?
(A bunch of random Factory monsters burst through the door and destroy the camera. It’s a miracle how the tape survived.)
Connor: Lemmy’s going to kill us when he-
(TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED)
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