Boo’s Mansion - Bow’s Room, June 20, 1:00 PM
Kamek: Now let’s see… Where did those cards get to…?
(Bow teleports in.)
Bow: Hey. Who does Sunny want us to interview today?
Kamek: I don’t know. That’s why I’m looking for the note cards.
Bow: In my room?
Kamek: Yes. My orb said I’d find the ones Sunny sent me in here.
Bow: O…kay… *sees a paper on the back of Kamek’s cloak* Hey, what’s that?
Kamek: What?
Bow: On your cloak. *takes the paper and reads* Oh, it’s Sunny’s note! It says here we’re going to interview… *turns white when she reads the name* AAAAAAAAAH!!! SHE’S COMING HERE?! AAAAAH!!!
Kamek: What’s the matter? What are you screaming about? Who’s coming? *takes the note and reads* Oh. Well, she shouldn’t be that much of a problem. Why don’t we hold the Interview in the basement? It should be safer there; if she tries to attack us, we can quickly contain her.
Bow: Not according to Queen Sunny.
Kamek: Shush. Let’s go.
(They do so.)
In the basement...
Kamek: Hello, peoples! I’m Kamek and this is Bow at-
Lemmy: LEMMY’S-
Bow: You didn’t learn anything from when Onyx interviewed you, huh?
(Lemmy returns to where he came from.)
Kamek: That’s better. Now here today is a special guest, one who you’ll learn more about than you did back in 1981.
Bow: So, without further ado, here’s *shudders* Pauline.
Pauline: Greetings, weakling mortals.
Kamek: Here’s something I think all Mario fans have pondered over the years: why exactly did Donkey (Cranky) Kong kidnap you?
Pauline: *evil smirk* I had once tried to overthrow Queen Sunny’s father, and in doing so, got my powers taken away and was taken to trial on land. As soon as I learned I was to be taken to Earth and executed by some brutish chimp, I knew I needed a plan. So while I was in Brooklyn awaiting my fate, I adopted a little “sweet girl” persona. In doing so, I attracted a stupid little carpenter with a mustache. I noticed a strange light energy emanating from his heart. I thought to myself, “Maybe if I harness this energy, I can regain my powers and exact my revenge on that wretch Triton and that stupid ape.” *cackles* Little did I know, as soon as I was rescued, I immediately regained my magic.
Bow: (to herself) I wish you didn‘t. *shudders* (to Pauline) Why did you return in DK ’94?
Pauline: I returned because of what happened the first time. The carpenter-now-plumber who rescued me thought that I was some other girl because I had changed my appearance.
Kamek: So that wasn’t you in March of the Minis?
Pauline: Of course not, foolish dark mage! That was my youngest sister, Tatiana! People always confuse us because we look alike. But she’s a fairy, I’m a witch.
Random Female Toad: I guess the question I was going to ask was already answered…
Bow: How come you didn’t kill Mario after DK ’94?
Pauline: Foolish ghost girl, I need his energy to do that! You know, your voice is familiar…
Bow: *gulp* (I’m in for it.) Last question and then we go to audience: what is your greatest fear?
Pauline: The fact that Queen Sunny, that miserable wench, may marry Mario and gain her full strength! That’s why I and my middle sister Daisy put the seven curses over her, so that can never be.
Queen Sunny (in seat CURSEDQUEEN): Why would you do this?! How COULD you do this?! WHAT IS YOUR BEEF?!
Pauline: >:3 Beef? Pauline is lacking in beef. Pauline is beefless. But I am having a goal!
Kamek: This will NOT end well. Seat YOUSTOLEMYLINE!
Fawful: You must be of stoppingness of the line stealing. Why is Pauline of the surviving? Wouldn’t she be of deadness in the second attack of mustardy doom?
Pauline: No. I survived because I’m a water witch. My bubble shield protected me.
Bow: Seat LEMMY’SLANDVERSIONOFRINI!
Princess Sunny: How can Daisy be your sister? That would make you-
Pauline: Silence, twit! My status (and Daisy’s for that matter) as princess of Sarasaland was taken away when our mother Queen Mab found out I killed Tatiana’s father!
Princess Sunny: Ouch. *shudders*
Kamek: Seat NINTENDOVERSIONOFMR.PEABODY!
Russ T: What books do you read?
Pauline: My spellbooks, of course.
Bow: Seat OHWHEREOHWHEREHASMYUNDERDOGGONE!
Polly Purebred: Any relation to Karma?
Pauline: I work under the rogue siren’s direction.
Bowser: So she’s a siren too…
Pauline: SILENCE!!! Seat ROWTHIRTYSEATNINE!
Red Paratroopa: Why am I here?
(Pauline obliterates him.)
Kamek: Man… Seat WHATYOUAGAIN!
Ripto: Why did you make the walls of my castle ooze that weird fuzzy chartreuse-colored slime?
Pauline: I wouldn’t bother with such childish magic.
Ripto: Then who-
Just then, Ludwig bursts through the doors with Cell, Napa, and every other DBZ villain.
Ludwig: CHOCOLAAAAATE!!! CHOCOLAAAAAATE!!! CHOCOLAAAAAAATE!!! CH-
Freiza KOs Ludwig by just squeezing his shoulder.
Napa: Vegeta, what does the scouter say about her power level?!
Vegeta: IT’S OVER NIIIIIIIIINE THOOOOOOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!
Cell: IMMA FIRIN MA LAZORZ !1!1!!!!1!! BWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Kamek: *sigh* I knew this wouldn’t end well… Lemmy’s NOT going to be happy about this, so I might as well end it.
Kamek goes over to the camera to shut it off, but Pauline blasts him into the middle of the fracas.
Pauline: ALL YOUR SOULS ARE BELONG TO US!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-
The camera is hit by an airplane.
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