"To Ludwig, my Interview assistant,
Unfortunatley, me and the interviewee are stuck somewhere, so you will have to be the interviewer and pick someone from the audience.
My best regards, Mario"
Ludwig: Okay then. I wonder what happened to him though...
Meanwhile, at Koopaling Burger…
(Mario is impatiently in a drive-thru lane with Petey Piranha in his kart. Mario had just sent a random bird to deliver his message to Ludwig.)
Mario: You just HAD to get hungry. And you pick this place out of all of them.
Petey: RAWR! (Look, I'm hungry, and this was the closest restaurant!)
Meanwhile, back at the Interview studio…
Ludwig: Um... Hi. Mario will be running late today, so I'll be the interveiwer.
Audience: Sure. Okay. Whatever. I want my momma. Who said that? Loser. Start already!
Ludwig: All right, now I need someone to interview! Oh, and if any of you have chocolate, please give it to me.
Luigi: OOOH! OOH! I WANT TO BE INTERVIEWED! AND I HAVE CHOCOLATE!
Ludwig: Give the chocolate first.
(Luigi tosses a chocolate bar to Ludwig.)
Ludwig: HAH! I TRICKED YOU! I'D NEVER INTERVEIW A LOSER LIKE YOU!
Luigi: Aw man...
Ludwig: All right, you, Goomba raising his hand!
Goomba: How did you know I was raising a hand, when I don't have one?
Ludwig: Just get down here.
(The Goomba scrambles out of his seat and goes to the stage to sit in the seat opposite of Ludwig.)
Ludwig: Now then, let us begin. Question one, what happens when a Goomba is defeated?
Goomba: Actually it's quite interesting. Everytime a Goomba or anyone else is defeated, we are sent to the Underwhere. However, they send normal enemies and main characters back to the real world, as they only trap pure villans like that insane jester guy in there. However, Queen Jaydes always gives us a choice: be revived in our normal bodies, or respawn as a Boo or Dry Bones!
Ludwig: Hmmmm... That's an interesting thing to research. Now, question two, how do Goombas attack?
Goomba: In early games, we just walk into the person we want to attack. We then found that pointless, so in some games, we do rush attacks on people we want to hurt. However, some well-trained Goombas are able to use headbonks and Paragoombas can use swooping attacks. Some Goombas use spiked hats, and I want one so I can't get jumped on.
Ludwig: All right, last question before audience. Question 3, the one I've been pondering for a long time, are the wings Goombas sprout real?
Goomba: Yeah! However, most Paragoombas are inexperienced, so we choose to simply stay on the ground.
Ludwig: All right, audience time! You there in seat GOOMBAKING.
Goomba King: Am I really your king?
Goomba: Nope. Goomboss is.
Goomba King: (Darn it.)
Ludwig: All right, you in seat SHADOWTHIEF!
Popple (wearing bandages): Do Goombas choose sides?
Goomba: We take any side that we feel like joining. I'm on the neutral side.
Popple: Then I want you to be on my side, see! I need a new rookie, se-
(He is immediately set ablaze.)
Ludwig: Okay then. Now before we close up the show, we'll go to Roy for...
Audience: THE WHEEL OF PAIN!
Roy: All right, chumps! I'm the person who decides the Goomba's fate! Let's go!
(He punches the wheel, which ends up breaking off of its hinges.)
Goomba: Phew.
(But then the wheel runs him over.)
Goomba: Ow.
Ludwig: Well then, I guess it's time to end trans-
(A kart crashes through the wall with Mario and Petey in it. Immediately after seeing Petey, the audience runs off screaming, and things suddenly explode into flames.)
Mario: *sigh...* Why does this keep happening? Anyway, are you at least finished with the Interview?
Ludwig: Yes. Yes I am.
Mario: Well than I guess it's safe to say, end transmission.
(Before the camera turns off, Petey grabs the camera and eats it. I hope you're not disturbed by the food in his stomach.)
END TRANSMISSION
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