Kody: And that’s what happened.
Rigel: Zzzzz...
Kody: Isn’t this typical... and cliché...
Rigel: No, I’m faking it.
Kody: ... Why?
Rigel: It’s being recorded so I can fool people.
Kody: I see. Well, I’m going to interview Shadoo next.
Rigel: Good luck with that.
Kody: And you’re all going to help me.
Rigel: No.
Amaury: No.
Kamcle: No.
Kody: Yes. Or else I’ll bring back an overused running gag.
Rigel: Pfft, go ahead.
Morton: WEDDING CAKE!
Kamcle: Yawn.
Lemmy: Yawn.
Gloomtail: RAGE.
Lemmy: Eep!
(Gloomtail chases Lemmy out of the castle.)
Shadoo: Heh heh heh...
Kody: Oh great, he’s here. Well, it’s too late to refuse anyway.
(Kamcle, Amaury, and Rigel exit.)
Kody: Stupid emergency exit. Eh, they’ll be back.
Shadoo: How do you know?
Kody: I don’t. I’m just being optimistic.
Shadoo: Optimism is overrated.
Kody: Boooo. Fine, I’ll do the Interview. Do you have any relation to the Shadow Queen?
Shadoo: No. I was made by the Ancients 1,500 years ago, but they locked me down in the Flopside Pit of 100 Trials because of my evil prowess.
Kody: So how did you escape?
Shadoo: The “Heroes of Prophecy” foolishly let me out of my prison when they opened up that warp pipe; even though they beat me, I still survived. Only now I’m a bit weaker.
Kody: And how does the new world strike your fancy?
Shadoo: Too colorful for my tastes. It needs to be darker.
Kody: Have you considered living in Boo’s Mansion or Creepy Steeple or something like that?
Shadoo: Hardly anybody lives there, only Boos, but they’re not scared of me. And even if they were, it wouldn’t be worth it anyway. I want to takeover the world. HEH HEH HEH!
Kody: Quite an ambition, but Mario will always be there to stop you, and anybody else who gets that idea. Most unfortunate, that is. He’s done it countless times to Bowser and other villains.
Shadoo: Yes, I know about the extra lives thing. So I’ll just kill off his friends and make him commit suicide over and over and over again until those lives run out.
Kody: Luigi, Peach, and the others have extra lives as well, you do realize.
Shadoo: ... Curses. Well, my world-conquering scheme will at least drive off this agitating boredom I have at the moment.
Kody: Ooh, boredom. It must perish. Seriously, I hate it too. Erm... You can copy any character’s shadow?
Shadoo: Yes.
(Lemmy comes running in.)
Kody: Do it to him.
Shadoo: No problem.
(Shadoo turns into a Dark version of Lemmy.)
Lemmy: Uh...
Dark Lemmy: Hi.
Lemmy: Do I know you?
Dark Lemmy: No.
(Gloomtail rushes in.)
Gloomtail: Hello, I am God, quake in fear, mortals. Did either of you see a short Koopa by the name of Lemmy pass by here? I need to kill him.
Lemmy: He went that-a-way.
Dark Lemmy: No, that-a-way.
Lemmy: Excuse me, but I believe I know which way Lemmy went.
Dark Lemmy: I know more than you do.
Lemmy: No you don’t.
Dark Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show?
Lemmy: Okay, maybe you do.
Gloomtail: ...
(Gloomtail Megabreaths Shadoo, who reverts.)
Shadoo: Ow.
Gloomtail: Hey... You’re not Lemmy. You’re some rip-off of Shadow Mario.
Shadoo: No, I’m not. I’m just in this form because I’m most comfortable in it. By the way, THAT’S Lemmy.
Lemmy: Gah!
Gloomtail: RAGE.
(Gloomtail chases Lemmy around.)
Kody: Yes, rage. My name wasn’t mentioned in the last page.
(Kody ducks as a crate is thrown at him.)
Kody: And enough of the stupid fourth wall gag.
[actually, that’s because you rhymed]
Kody: Shut it. Shadoo, could you make a copy of something as big as Gloomtail?
Shadoo: Yes, but it would take time. I would have to manifest all the nearby shadows of inanimate objects together, and that requires energy to do.
Wind Crystal: I am not an inanimate object.
Kody: Quiet! Shadoo, does this count true for separate objects?
Shadoo: Yes. That was kinda explained when I sent the “Heroes” back to the beginning of the Pit of 100 Trials the first time they got to the bottom. I wasn’t ready yet.
Kody: And how were you able to copy the Heroes, anyway? You didn’t even see them until they arrived at Level 100. And anyway, I thought you said you needed inanimate objects to make shadows?
Shadoo: Yes, well, while I myself must remain at the bottom of the Flopside Pit of 100 Trials, the copies of minions I made came back to me when they were defeated, and sent me every description of the Heroes that they could. They did this by turning back into shadows, since they couldn’t go through the doors in their physical minion forms. And I don’t always need inanimate objects to make shadow forms if the room is quite dark already. The only reason it looked lit up was because Nintendo made it that way for the player to see properly. If that hadn’t happened, I’d have beaten them. You see what Nintendo does to us powerful villains? Disgraceful, I tell you.
Kody: Join the countless other villains who’ve been down your road.
Space Ghost: Beans.
Kody: You’re not a villain. Stop following me around, you annoying people, you.
Brak: BEANS!
Kody: Augh. Ignoring that. Why were there Catch Cards at the 100th level, anyway? That seems a tad suspicious, considering 4 of them were forms you JUST took.
Shadoo: Uhh... They were duplicates of the other four, but I corrupted them when they defeated me. Yeah. They’ve probably already succumbed to the afterlife from their curses. Yeah.
Kody: Riiight. You go ahead and think that. And you never answered the first part of my question.
Shadoo: The Ancients put them there as a reward for whoever came down there and defeated me, since they couldn’t destroy me themselves, heh heh heh...
Kody: Strange. Bestovius instantly knew Mario was one of the Heroes.
Shadoo: ... O all right. The Ancients knew exactly what the Heroes looked like, and they thought that I might make copies of them if I encountered them, so they made those Catch Cards of those shadow forms, and hid them down there for the Heroes so they could weaken me.
Kody: It didn’t really help the Heroes anyway, seeing as they didn’t find the Catch Cards until they defeated you.
Shadoo: Yes, which actually hurts me more. They didn’t even need the Catch Cards to defeat me...
Kody: Ha. Getting away from that, what exactly did you do to make the Ancients lock you down there?
Shadoo: I was created using shadow magic, mostly by Merloo. He didn’t realize just how powerful he had made me and so the Ancients denounced his “work” and locked me in the Pit.
Kody: Hmm. Why couldn't you fight back?
Shadoo: They imprisoned me in a Catch Card, like they did to the Pixls that turned on them.
Kody: But you escaped.
Shadoo: Yes. However, I only did so after they had banished me into the Flopside Pit.
Kody: Understandable. Say, what's your true form?
(Shadoo becomes a black spot on the ground.)
Kody: THAT'S your true form?
Shadoo: Unfortunately. But because of this, they'll think I'm harmless when I'm not, heh heh heh...
Kody: They? Who's “they”?
Shadoo: Anyone I come across! I'd think that'd be obvious...
Kody: Not really. So how come when you made copies of minions, they did twice or more times the damage of the regular minion, yet when you copied the Heroes, the damage always stayed the same?
Shadoo: Minions don't often get stronger like the Heroes did, so I had to guess.
Kody: Guess?! You could have annihilated them! Why didn't you set the damage value higher?
Shadoo: 20 is as far as I could go, and that's for Mario's Hammer, Bowser's Fire, and Luigi's Super Jump.
Kody: Bleh. Why'd you give Dark Luigi that bandana?
Shadoo: Uh, there was no bandana. You talking about the handkerchief?
Kody: Oh, right. I never know what those things are called. Why was that on there?
Shadoo: Well, uh, Luigi still had it on him when they entered the Pit.
Kody: So you copied Mr. L instead.
Shadoo: They're basically the same thing.
Mr. L: I AM NOT LUIGI!
Kody: Evidence proves so.
Mr. L: I destroyed all the evidence.
(Kody holds up a mask.)
Mr. L: Gimme that back!
Kody: Not until you admit you're Luigi.
Mr. L: How many times do I have to keep telling you people with negative I.Q. points that I AM NOT LUIGI?! I don't even remember being Luigi, darn it!
Kody: That's because you were brainwashed, you idiot. Now if you'll kindly excuse me, I must continue interviewing Shadoo.
(Brobot bursts in.)
Mr. L: Give me my mask back or I'll wreak havoc on the castle.
Kody: No.
(Brobot starts destroying the audience.)
Kody: Whatever. Now then, Shadoo, why did you give Dark Bowser a defense point of three when normally Bowser has no defense?
Shadoo: He does have defense in his boss fights.
Kody: Not while being playable he doesn't.
(Kody dodges another crate.)
Kody: Oh for the love of DAD, stop that!
(A barrel hits Kody.)
Kody: ...
Mr. L: I just know you're going to give me my mask back.
Kody: No, I'm not. Well, Shadoo?
Shadoo: Fine, fine. He's a Koopa, right? Koopas have defense. He's King of the Koopas. So I gave him 3 defense. And why Bowser has no defense while being playable, I have no idea.
(A barrel hits the spot where Shadoo is and bounces away.)
Shadoo: The benefits of being a shadow creature, ah.
Kody: ... Yeeeaaah. So why didn't you use items against the Heroes?
Shadoo: I gave them all to the shadow minions I cloned.
Kody: Huh? Why would you do that?
Shadoo: I figured they would use the items if they were attacked. I'm quite angry to know they DIDN'T!
Kody: Perhaps they were thinking like you.
Shadoo: What's that supposed to mean?!
Kody: That you could fight without using items and show you're a tough guy.
Shadoo: HEY! If I knew how the items weren't being used, I would have kept them all!
Kody: But you didn't, so ha.
Shadoo: I really don't like you.
Kody: Yeah, I keep getting told that. But I don't really care, so let's move on. Did you ever work alongside the Pixl Queen or something like that?
Shadoo: Uh, no, I was captured immediately after I was created.
Kody: Right. And what are you doing right now?
Shadoo: ... Being interviewed.
Kody: In general.
Shadoo: Planning to takeover the world!
Kody: We already went through that. I'm not going to do it again. One last question before we get to audience questions... What were you doing in the Pit for 1,500 years?
Shadoo: Sleeping!
Kody: Typical. And again, there's no audience...
Mr. L: Now you'll remember to give me back my mask, won't you?
Kody: No. I'll just find another one.
Mr. L: Grr...
----
Kamcle: I need a good bowl of Koopasta.
Amaury: I need a sparring partner.
Rigel: I need to laugh at someone's pain.
Sledge Brother: You see a black Boo go by here?
Kamcle: No.
Rigel: Filler scene is filler.
Rawk Hawk: FEEL THE RAAAAWK!!!
Kamcle: ARGH!
----
Kody: Seat 4!
(Brobot destroys seat 4.)
Mr. L: Give me my mask.
Kody: No! Seat 5!
Parabomb: Why don't you– GAH!
(Brobot explodes Parabomb.)
Mr. L: I can do this all day, you know.
Kody: FINE! Here's your mask. Sheesh.
(Kody flings it at Mr. L.)
Mr. L: Happy day!
Kody: Seat 67...
Bulky Bob-omb: You didn't consider altering the copied forms a bit?
Shadoo: Can't do that. If I were that powerful, I'd have avoided being caught in a Catch Card.
Kody: Seat 1.
Lemmy: Can you get Gloomtail to stop chasing me?
Kody: God, if you don't stop chasing Lemmy, you'll run out of Koopaling votes.
Gloomtail: Fool. I am not a tourist.
Kody: Oh. Sorry, Lemmy, that's all I got.
Lemmy: Derrr...
Kody: Seat 0.
???: Can you guess who I am?
Kody: Woo, another old running gag. But I'll let Shadoo answer the question any–
(Shadoo has transformed into a Fire... Sis?)
Kody: -way?
Fire... Sis: You got me. Oh, and I don't like being called Fire Sis. Sounds too much like another character's name. I'm Tarein.
Shadoo: Yeah... Nice to meet you. Are we done with this question?
Kody: ... Kinda different, but okay. And yes we are. Seat 96.
Bowser: BOOM!
(Kody turns into the 12-foot-long ant.)
Kody: A running gag inside a running gag. Can this get any worse?
(Brobot destroys the rest of the audience.)
Kody: ... Someone shoot me.
Mr. L: That can be arranged.
Tarein: Can I ask a question?
Kody: You already seem to be an OC. But whatever.
(Kody gets hit by a barrel. Kody puts the barrel in a jar.)
Kody: That was weird.
Tarein: How exactly were you made? I mean, what did Merloo do to create you?
Shadoo: Let's see... He started out with a Dark Boo, used a darkish kind of summoning spell that attracted shadows to one area, and swarmed them over the Boo. Thus, I was born.
Tarein: So... you're a Dark Boo, essentially.
Shadoo: Not really. I lost the Boo form precisely at the time of “birth”.
(Kody tosses an Audience-In-A-Can at the far end of the room. Cue an audience bursting from it.)
Kody: Seat 98.
Hippopo: Duhhh... What are the stats of your true form?
Shadoo: 1 HP, 0 Attack, but infinite defense. I can't be hurt in my true form... yet I can't really attack unless I copy somebody else.
Kody: Seat 870.
Shroid: %$@#$%@!!!
Shadoo: Yes, I can copy inanimate objects. How do you think I copied Peach's parasol?
Wind Crystal: Whoosh.
Kody: Be quiet, you animate object. Last one, seat 32.
Don Bongo: Why was the entrance to the Pit of 100 Trials sealed, anyway?
Shadoo: The Ancients didn't want anybody to stumble upon me and accidentally release me, so they blocked it off. Pity the switch can be hit from the top to open the entrance, mwa ha ha.
Kody: Well, this Interview was particularly horrible.
Mr. L: Can I shoot you now?
Kody: No.
Mr. L: Please?
(Kody takes Mr. L's mask off again and puts it in a jar.)
Mr. L: ... You're creeping me out.
Wind Crystal: Whoosh.
(Mr. L laughs in Bowser's voice.)
Kody: ... End transmission.
Tarein: ... This isn't a real camera.
Kody: Huh?!
Tarein: It's made of styrofoam.
(Kody puts the camera in a jar.)
Tarein: Stop doing that.
Kody: I wish I could.
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