(The camera opens to show a confused Riley sitting in the interview chair.)
Lakitu: Hey Riley. Filling in for Leah again?
Riley: I guess. I found this note telling me to come here taped to my face when I woke up this morning. Didn’t say why though…
Lakitu: Didn’t you ask her about it?
Riley: When I was looking for her, I found another note saying she went to the Beanbean Kingdom…
(Suddenly Morton comes in through the studio doors.)
Morton: I’m ready for my Interview, questioning, discussion, dialogue! Sorry I’m late, delayed, belated, I was finishing up my most wonderful, terrific speech.
Lakitu: Well…good luck!
(Lakitu flies out the window of the studio, forcing Kooper to take charge of the camera.)
Riley: Why me…?
(Morton sits down in the free chair onstage, still talking about his speech.)
Riley: Well, I guess we should-
Morton: It’s a great, marvelous, amazing…
Riley: Morton, will you plea-
Morton: -speechiest speech to ever be written. That makes it better than any of my others because-
(Riley hits Morton in the head with a bat.)
Riley: Shut up!
Morton: Okay…
Riley: Now to our first question. Why was your name Big Mouth in the cartoons?
Morton: Everyone called me that because they say I talk too much, but I don’t think I talk all that much. In fact, I am rather offended, insulted, hurt that everyone thinks that about me, I’m just a simple Koopa and I would like to be treat-
(Morton is muzzled by a large piece of duct tape that Riley places over his mouth. Riley hands him some paper and a pen.)
Riley: There, write out your answers from now on.
(Morton nods his head to show he understands.)
Riley: All right, now Morton, why do you have that star-shaped mark on your head?
(Morton begins writing some stuff on one of the papers he was given. He shows it to the camera before giving it to Riley.)
Riley: Now let’s see what you have.
(She looks at the paper to see it’s completely filled on both sides, and gets an anime sweatdrop. She tears the tape off of Morton’s mouth.)
Riley: Forget the writing, just tell me.
Morton: It’s a scar, flaw, mark from a surgery when I was young. King Dad said I was weaker than I should be, even though I would still have been stronger than Iggy, because Iggy is very weak and-
(Riley hits him with the bat again.)
Morton: Owie…He had a Starman put into my head to make me stronger, but everyone just says that it’s what makes me talk a lot, but I still don’t think I talk that much.
Riley: (I can see why Leah ran away…) How come your scales are brown instead of orange like the rest of your family?
Morton: They were originally orange, but I spend a lot of time in Desert Land and a bit of time in Donut Plains when I was still able to. The hot, steaming, blistering, boiling sun in those places tanned my scales to brown.
Riley: I see… Would you care to explain why you’re the only one with a gray shell as well?
Morton: It’s the same reason in fact. All the days in the sun took all of its bright, brilliant, vivid color and made it gray. Although I think that it looks even better this way.
Riley: Well, we’re almost out of time. (Thank DAD!) So, that means it’s time for audience questions. Seat number 555.
Mimi: How come in Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga you could send shockwaves at the Mario Bros, but in Super Mario Bros. 3 you couldn’t even shake your ship?
Morton: That’s a simple, easy, effortless answer. In Mario and Luigi, I was ground pounding to send them out at the Brothers, but in Super Mario Bros. 3, I hadn’t learned how to do that yet.
Riley: (He was probably busy talking during fight training…) Seat number Lemmy? Why do you have your own chair?
Lemmy: Well, this is my Land, so every studio has a special chair just for me!
Riley: Makes sense. Ask your question please.
Lemmy: Why do you like to give speeches to the empty auditorium in our castle?
Morton: I’m not giving a speech! I’m just practicing all my speeches so I can keep sharp, prepared, ready for when King Dad finally lets me give them all to everyone in the castle!
Riley: All right, last question. Seat number 6.
Goomba: Does Roy ever beat you up for talking like he does to Iggy for being…umm…Iggy?
Morton: Yes he does! It hurts a lot and I always try to talk to him about how much it hurts, but it just makes him hit me harder and once he even broke my arm which wasn’t fun at all! It’s not fun having a broken arm, or any broken bone for that matter, because it hurts so much, and the casts are itchy and-
(Riley hits Morton with the bat again. Morton falls out of his seat and onto the floor, motionless.)
Riley: Oopsie… I think I hit him a little too hard…
Kooper: End transmission.
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