Another day in Castle Bleck...
Dimentio: And even if it was me who was taking pictures of Rosalina, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to get caught.
Count Bleck: Yeah, well just in case, Rosalina put a restraining order on you.
Dimentio: Huh?
Count Bleck: You are to stay 20 feet away from her until the “real” culprit is caught.
Dimentio: That’s not so bad, like losing all your health items but getting a 1-Up. Oh well, I have to go.
O’Chunks: Where ya going, lad?
Dimentio: I need to meet Nintendo Koopa at Café Dimentio.
Mimi: You are just coping off my café!
Dimentio: That reminds me, like a person with amnesia getting hit by a blunt object. Twerp, you have an Interview to do.
Mimi: Who am I interviewing?
Dimentio: Ask Nastasia. Ciao.
(Dimentio does his signature teleportation and leaves. Nastasia and Timpani come in.)
Nastasia: Uh, here is a message for your inbox, Mimi. Today you are interviewing Wario.
Timpani: The problem is we called him and he said he was too busy to be interviewed.
Dimentio: Oh, right. Leave it to me.
Count Bleck: 0.o I thought you left!
Dimentio: I did, now watch this.
(Dimentio gets out a gold coin and drops it. Suddenly Wario is next to Count Bleck.)
Wario: Who dropped a gold coin?
(Dimentio hits him with a baseball bat and it breaks. Still, it knocks him out.)
Dimentio: And there you have him, like a sack of potatoes ready to be cooked.
(Dimentio leaves… again.)
Mimi: I think his similes are getting stupider. Well, let’s get this guy to my café.
O’Chunks: Why, lass?
Mimi: You don’t think I’m actually going to do this in icky old Dimension D, do you?
(They all flip to Mimi’s Café.)
Mimi: Welcome, husky gentlemen, to Mimi’s Interview Show!
(A bunch of dolls and cardboard cutouts of famous Plit stars are the audience.)
Count Bleck: Okay, counseling twice a week.
Mimi: Oh! Dark Doc makes me talk to puppets and my “inner” self. Anywho welcome our obese, greedy, over the top ugly victim Wario!
Wario: Money! Uh, I mean it’s-a me, Wario! And what is the meaning of this?!
Mimi: You are being interviewed against your will.
Wario: The Great Wario says you release me at once!
Mimi: Wait, I thought you were Wario.
Nastasia: He is talking in third person, Mimi.
Count Bleck: Enough of this foolishness, says Count Bleck!
(Timpani slaps Count Bleck.)
Timpani: You promised you weren’t going to talk like that again!
Mimi: Ignore them, now, question one, what’s up with hiring Tatanga to attack Sarasaland?
Wario: I wanted Mario’s Island. However I heard he was tough so I called Tatanga to attack Sarasaland. With him rescuing that silly princess I easily conquered Mario’s island.
Mimi: Okay, question two, why did you come up with Wario Ware Inc?
Wario: Money!
Mimi: This is no time to go stupid!!!
Wario: That was my answer.
Mimi: Oh… Well it wasn’t a very good one. The question three, where did you find your employees?
Wario: Why, they are my friends.
(At this Mimi starts laughing her head off… literally.)
Mimi: Darn it I did it again! Hey O’Chunks, can you reach into my purse and get the number for Dark Doc? Until then, answer the question more fully.
Wario: Fine! Wario Ware Inc. was actually another video game company at first. I think their name was Micosoft or something. I bought the company and kept the workers there. That is where I got all my employees.
Mimi: Question four, how does eating garlic turn you into Wario-Man?
Wario: Oh, you see, one day I was taking a stroll by Mad Jack’s factories. I saw Junior eating some green-glowing goo. I decided my garlic needed some seasoning so I dipped it in that goo. Once I ate it I became this cool, awesome, super-powered being. Now whenever I eat garlic with that special green goo I turn into Wario-Man!
Mimi: It will not surprise anyone if Dark Doc finds out you have cancer. Final question before audience questions, how are you related to Mario?
Wario: Who told you about that?! Fine, he is my bum-of-a-cousin. The Great Wario is better than him!
Mimi: Whatever. This place needs audience questions!
Count Bleck: There is no audience!
Mimi: Shush! Mr. Bear in seat 35 has something to say!
(Count Bleck slaps himself.)
Mimi: The question is, do you like Mona?
(Wario starts to sweat tremendously.)
Wario: Ergh, she likes me but I can’t say I exactly share the same feelings.
Mimi: Okay, the husky guy in seat 12 wants to know if you live with your brother Waluigi.
Wario: No! He lives with me in my palace. However during the summer we live in Waluigi’s Island.
Mimi: The Count Bleck plush toy wants to know why your nose is so… disfigured.
Wario: One day while I was stealing cookies from Baby Mario it was burning hot! I ran so fast I hit a wall really hard, thus leading to my nose.
Mimi: Oh, the Luigi plush wants to know why you love money so much.
Wario: It all begins in my childhood. On my second birthday my father gave me a gold coin. I loved that gold coin. Loved it like a brother. Then one hot summer day I was so hot. *starts sobbing* Then an ice cream truck came… and *starts wailing and crying more* I spent him on an ice cream cone! WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! My best friend, gone forever!!! Waaaaaa!
(Count Bleck and the others start to cry.)
O’Chunks: So you lads like teh smell o’ my onion soup?
Mimi: Get that out of here! Oh, Zip Toad has a question! Why were you in Super Mario 64 DS?
Wario: That game never happened!
Mimi: Of course. Well, thanks for being here.
Wario: Now I leave.
(Wario turns into Wario-Man and goes through the roof.)
Mimi: My roof!
Count Bleck: Okay, counseling time. Oh, and end the transmission!
(Transmission Ended)
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