Fireball: Hello, and welcome to my extreme Interview show!
Luigi: Where's WT?! Let me guess, GONE! Like always.
Fireball: Don't worry, someone's coming. I hope, at least.
Kroshi: Who?
Fireball: Someone who has a name with Toad in it, commander of them or something.
Kroshi: I see. When will he get here?
Fireball: I don't know... Don't ask me questions I don't-
(Suddenly the door to Fireball's studio is kicked down and General Toad dive-rolls in.)
General Toad: Area secured.
Fireball: My... my door! Well, at least you’re here.....Or should I even care....Oh yeah, I should.
GT: Riiiight, but not for long! I've actually been called back to the Mushroom Army for a day. We're having an annual gathering.
Fireball: Ok... Who's going to help me interview Lakitu? Well, Wario or Kroshi could help me, or I could just do an Interview by myself.
(Lakiblizzard floats in.)
GT: Lakiblizzard can! He's only my cameraman, but he's a Lakitu, and a tradition on my show is that a castmember can interview one of their species. Now, I must away! Goodbye!
Lakiblizzard: Ok then... I'm ready when you are.
Fireball: Well first I need an apple pie.
(Fireball takes an apple pie and gulps it down)
Fireball: Ok, now where is that Lakitu... Not you, Laki...frezzegood?
Lakiblizzard: LakiBLIZZARD. Let's not turn this into another Wizardheimer.
(A Lakitu comes in the studio.)
Lakitu: Hello... What's up with the door?
Kroshi: General Toad knocked it down, and now any random guy could walk in.
(Toad comes in.)
Kroshi: Look at him... He could be random.
Toad: Nope.
(Toad leaves.)
Lakiblizzard: Alrighty then... Let's get to the Interview.
Fireball: Well all right, let's get this Interview started! Laki... guy, you can start off.
Lakiblizzard: First question! Do all Lakitus wear glasses?
Lakitu: All the ones that Mario fights do. The glasses enhance our vision, making it easier to target him with Spinies. Many other Lakitus wear them too, simply because we have become used to wearing them as a whole.
Kroshi: Well that's somehow cool.
Fireball: Right, next question. What happens when a Lakitu loses his cloud? Do you get a new one, since Mario does knock you guys off your clouds a lot.
Lakitu: Some Spinies control the cloud and come over to us and give us the cloud. We and the Spinies really work as a team.
Luigi: Well this Interview may be worthwhile... Probably not.
Mario: Stop being so negative, Luigi!
Luigi: But it's a habit...
(Luigi walks away with a small negative energy zone floating around him.)
Lakiblizzard: Alrighty... How is it that you can fit a seemingly unlimited number of Spinies in your cloud?
Lakitu: Spiny eggs shrink when not being handled for extended periods of time, so while we can't hold an unlimited number, we can hold a great number. Fireball: Could you give us an exact number?
Lakitu: No, I could not.
Fireball: Well then, next question, who do the Lakitus work for, just Bowser?
Lakitu: Yes, he treats his high minions well. Since we have some high HP, he treats us well. He gives us a huge supply of clouds. We were planning to have a king of our own, but Bowser would not allow it.
Kroshi: But Bowser would have another boss.
Bowser: Hey, there's already Goomba King, King Boo... Goomba King!
Lakiblizzard: So choose a smart one... Never mind. Why do Lakitu clouds have faces?
Lakitu: The clouds have faces to make us appear innocent and weak, and when the enemy lets their guard down, BAM! That's when we peg 'em with a Spiny!
Lakiblizzard: But isn't it common knowledge now that Lakitus hit people with Spinies?
Lakitu: Yep.
Lakiblizzard: Then why do your clouds still have faces?
Lakitu: Tradition.
Kroshi: Why don't you know these answers, Lakiblizzard? You are a Lakitu... At least I think you are.
Lakiblizzard: Well, I know all the answers, but for the sake of the Interview, I have to act like I don't.
Fireball: Next question, why do you carry just Spinies in your cloud? Why not use another minion?
Lakitu: Well, it would be nice, but Spinies help us, like if we lost are cloud, they would get us a new one. I don't think the other minion would be that helpful. We have a bond.
Waluigi: It's-a me! Waluigi!
Lakiblizzard: … What?
(Lakitu throws a Spiny at Waluigi.)
Waluigi: I was caught off-guard by the happy face!
(Waluigi faints.)
Lakiblizzard: Oookay... Audience questions sound good? Seat 55!
Koopa: How do you move the cloud you sit on?
Lakitu: We steer it with our feet so we can throw Spinies with our hands!
Fireball: That seems like unsafe driving, but why would I care?
Lakitu: No clue!
Fireball: Seat 525!
Toadsworth: Why, hello old bean. May I ask, how did it feel to be an Assist Trophy in Super Smash Bros Brawl?
Lakitu: Hey, I am not that old! But on with the question; it was all right, at least I got to be in the game, I just wish I was 3D in it.
Mario: Easy come, easy come.
Lakiblizzard: Silence!
(Lakiblizzard pulls out a Spiny and chucks it at Mario. He freezes on contact with it.)
Lakiblizzard: Seat 321!
Squishy Goomba: Do you enjoy being the ref for many of Mario's sports games, or in the case of the Mario Kart series, the guy who pulls people out of water and such?
Lakitu: Not really. I wish I could participate sometimes.
Squishy Goomba: Why is the word squishy in front of my name?
Fireball: Shut up... You’re breaking the fourth wall!
Squishy Goomba: How?
Fireball: You’re saying "Why is it in front of my name" when you can't even SEE your name!
Kroshi: That made a lot of sense.
Fireball: It sure does. Seat 42!
Shy Guy: If you could be any minion, which one would you be?
Lakitu: You have to be kidding. A Spiny! I would love to have a shell with those spikes, that way, no one could hurt me! Unless you flip me over, of course.
(Suddenly General Toad bursts through the… place where the door was.)
GT: Hey, I'm back!
Lakiblizzard: How long was your meeting?!
GT: Eh, a few minutes.
Lakiblizzard: What could you have possibly discussed?!
GT: The color of our uniforms. *shrug*
Lakitu: Hey, this is my Interview!
GT: Fine. Why do Lakitus have different patterned shell than Koopas?
Lakitu: Simply because we're a sub-species of Koopas that developed a different shell pattern.
Lakiblizzard: Care to finish us up, Fireball? I'm assuming I have to go back to my camera duties with GT.
Fireball: All right, seat M42.
Mario: Did you really think you could beat me?
Lakitu: Yes! But when I heard Bowser got beat, then I knew you were strong-
Mario: Be quiet, that's good enough!
Fireball: Well, that's the end of this Interview. Thanks for helping here, Blizzard!
Lakiblizzard: That's Lakiblizzard! Get it right because I'm an EVIL KOOPA WIZARD! Wait, no I'm not. I'm at least a LAKITU WITH ICE POWERS WHOSE NAME IS HARD TO PRONOUNCE!
Fireball: GT, you owe me money for a new door, that should be at least 50 coins.
GT: Time to dig into the "Money to Give to Others When We Break Their Stuff" fund... I thought I was only going to need that money for Doopliss Guy and MagiBoo!
Fireball: Thanks for watching, end transmission!
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