Endark: Good morning, infidels, and welcome to Fireball's Interview Show. WT was scheduled to be the co-star ...again... but he's incapable of showing up right now. You see, as you might remember from last time, he was unable to escape the cage that Fireball locked him in for faking illness on the episode before that.
Amadeus: So, I had to drag the cage (WT included) to a local blacksmith, and he'll be spending all day there while the guy in charge tries to break the lock open. And it's made of titanium, so...
Endark: In any case, I am once more here to help host the show... if Amadeus keeps his promise to lend me his copy of the first volume of the “Yumekui Kenbun: Nightmare Inspector” manga, of course.
Amadeus: Of course...
Fireball: Not this guy again!
Wario: Him again... More wallets to steal for the great and awesome Wario!
Fireball: So today we will interview Barribad... from Super Paper Mario.
Mario: Oh sweet... Oh wait... Not sweet at all!
Fireball: Come in, Barribad! People have wallets to steal!
Endark: I'm sitting right here, you know! If you don’t cut it out, there's not enough magna in the world to keep me here long enough to finish this show, thus depriving you of the only co-host you can get! Now, let's get this Interview started. Barribad, I'm not trying to get you in trouble or anything... though I doubt the man I'm referring to could do anything about it... but what's your opinion on your boss?
Barribad: You referring to Count Bleck?
Endark: Obviously.
Barribad: Well, he's a cool villain, and I like his style... He needs to stop that third-person perspective talk, though.
Fireball: Whatever you guys just said, no one really cares.
Kamek: So true.
Fireball: Next question, what were your thoughts when you first saw Mario?
Barribad: I said, “Wow... This is going to be easy!”
Mario: But you were wrong, like everyone else! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Everyone looks at Mario.)
Mario: Can I help it if I can laugh at myself once in a while?
Goomba #24: Well, everyone does have to laugh at themselves once in a while.
Endark: Personally, I don't think that discovering the history and emotions of others is a laughing matter. Now, Barribad, since you're circular, is it hard to keep your balance and not accidentally roll into a pit?
Barribad: Well, as far as falling into pits go, my barrier will stop me from ever getting that far. As for staying in one place, yes, it does take a fair bit of concentration.
Endark: Cue sarcastic comments from the others...
Iggy: Can you speak so we can understand?
Fireball: I don't think that's going to happen. And for asking a stupid question, guards! Take him away!
Mario: Think he means us again?
Wario: Probably.
(Mario and Wario kick Iggy out.)
Fireball: Next question, who's your favorite villain... besides you?
Babbibad: That would have to be Count Bleck, moron! I said he was cool a couple of minutes ago! Remember?
(Everyone looks at each other.)
Fireball: Not really... You and your lies.
Barribad: ...
Endark: Fireball, you've officially made me believe in fate. Nobody could be as insane as you are without some cosmic force plotting it a few millennia in advance.
Fireball: I'll take that as a compliment.
Endark: Now, Barribad, what have you been doing since the events of SPM?
Barribad: Well, after Bleck's plans were finished, most of us minions became jobless. Thankfully, I quickly got hired by Squirps to be one of his personal bodyguards, since most characters can't swap dimensions and get around my barrier. I've been living with him and the other guys he hired ever since.
Larry: Now that makes sense!
Wario: You talkin' about the two morons, Barribad and Endark?
Endark: HEY! I didn't get an advanced degree in engineering just so I could be belittled by one of Plit's primary causes for world hunger!
Larry: ... Actually, I meant that I can't believe it's not butter!
Fireball: Nobody can. Next question, do you like any sports?
Barribad: Well, I do like baseball. And hockey as well.
Fireball: Makes you wonder why they don't have a hockey game starring Mario and the rest.
Endark: Have you seen a professional hockey game, Fireball? Not exactly something rated E for Everyone. My next question is, what kind of food do you like to eat?
Barribad: Well, Squirps has some fruit imported from time to time, and I've taken a liking to it. My favorite meal consists of a Fruity Hamburger, with some Fruity Punch on the side and some Fruity Cake for dessert.
Endark: ... Well, you are what you-
(A Thwomp randomly falls onto Endark and squishes him before the sentence is finished.)
Amadeus: Uh... Now's a good time to pick people from the audience, I think.
Fireball: Good! I can't stand Endark any longer!
Mario: No one can.
(Endark attempts to pull himself out from underneath the Thwomp, but can only free his head and gauntlet arm.)
Endark: HEY! I have friends in high places, you know!
Fireball: Seat 0.
Blooper: Bloop, who do you hate the most... besides Mario?
Barribad: Well, I would-
Blooper: Or Mario's companions, or the Pixls.
Barribad: Well then, I would have to choose O'Chunks. I hate that guy saying he's strong and such. And he speaks Irish way too much.
Fireball: Well, he IS Irish.
Endark: What on Plit are you talking about?! He couldn't be Irish unless he was from Earth's Ireland, and NOBODY from that planet is THAT blocky... I think. And is it even possible for a seat 0 to exist?!
Amadeus: Just do your job, or no Nightmare Inspector for you!
Endark: ... Seat 51.
Toad: Are you now, or have you ever been, in a relationship?
Barribad: Well, I'm currently seeing a gal named Sobarribad, who's like me in a lot of ways. But, the relationship is going-
Endark: So very badly?
Barribad: Yeah! How'd ya know?
Endark: ... Lucky guess.
Fireball: I think you just spy on them because you’ve got nothing better to do!
Mario: Must be.
Amadeus: Actually, since “So very badly” and “Sobarribad” sound a lot alike, I think Endark just-
Wario: Who cares, I'm-a-dunce?
Amadeus: Actually, my name's pronounced “Ahm-a-DAY-us”, like that one song.
Wario: Whatever! Let's just keep this show going!
Fireball: Seat 00000.
Endark: How is that any different from seat 0?!
Waluigi: Do you have any friends that are not Squirps?
Barribad: Well Mr. L was my friend, but he's nowhere to be seen these days.
Endark: ... Seriously, am I the ONLY one in this dimension who knows that Luigi and Mr. L are the same person?
Mario: Who's Luigi?
Endark: That man in green clothes? The owner of a mansion? Your freakin' BROTHER?! Any of that ringing a bell?!
Mario: ... Nope!
Endark: You maggot. Anyways, Barribad, what would you say is your favorite film?
Barribad: It's that one film where humanity has doomed itself due to their actions, and they must slowly return the planet to the state it once was in order to avoid catastrophe.
Amadeus: Sounds like a dramatic tale! What's it called?
Barribad: “An Inconvenient Truth”.
Endark: ... All right, let's wrap this show up. My head's about to explode from being surrounded by too much stupidity.
Fireball: Me too, right?
Wario: I'm sure.
Fireball: Ha... Seat M00000000000000000A000000000000000000R0000000000000I00000000000O.
Endark: ... Meh, I'm all out of insults.
Mario: Did you really think you could beat me?
Barribad: Without a doubt!
Mario: ... That means yes, right?
Barribad: Yeah.
Mario: Sweet!
Fireball: Well that's the end of the Interview show today!
Mario: Dang it!
Fireball: I know, Mario... Well come back next time with me, Mario, Wario, Amadeus, Ludwig, Lemmy, Roy, Iggy, Wendy, Morton, Larry, Goomba #329-
Larry: I think you can stop there.
Endark: Agreed... Now, could somebody get me out from under this Thwomp? My bones are breaking here, people!
Fireball: End Transmission.
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