(Previously, Shadoo revealed himself to be Joshua’s biological father, and kidnapped the Shadow Queen. Joshua set off after him, dragging Max along for the chase.)
(Inferno floats into the studio the morning after the Shadoo Interview. He finds a note, addressed to him.)
Inferno: This must be important. It’s fireproof.
(He reads it.)
Inferno: (reading, I’m not using any of those stupid talking letter jokes) “Inferno, I have gone away. I do not know whether I shall return. Shadoo kidnapped the Shadow Queen, and I’m going after him. I have Max with me as a last resort, so I’m probably doomed. Anyhoo, you’re in charge. Inform the others, and let King Boo know he’s doing the Interview today. The interviewees are in storage. Yours, Joshua A. Colquhoun.”
Inferno: Interviewees? Storage? What is he talking about…?
(King Boo floats in.)
King Boo: He left?
(Inferno nods.)
King Boo: … PARTY!!!
(Inferno breathes fire on him.)
Inferno: I’m in charge now, and I won’t have that kind of backtalk about my master/creator/killer.
King Boo: Did he really kill you? He changed you, but does that count?
Inferno: I’m a PHANTOM Ember.
King Boo: Ah.
Meanwhile...
(Joshua and Max, who is still unconscious, jump out of the rift… into the Pit of 100 Trials in Flopside. To be more precise, they’re in Shadoo’s room. The Shadow Queen is tied up and lying against a wall.)
Shadow Queen: Stay back! It’s a trap!
(Shadoo, in Mr. L form, jumps down from the ceiling, lands on Max, and ties him up. He then throws him beside the Shadow Queen.)
Shadoo: I knew you’d come. You’re my son, but I can’t let you destroy my relationship.
Joshua: But I won’t let you destroy mine. And if that means I have to fight you, then so be it.
Shadoo: Well then…
(He transforms into his true form, which, as you may remember, is basically a dark version of Joshua, but slightly taller and more buff.)
Shadoo: Let’s do it!
Back at the studio...
(Katie bursts in.)
Katie: Guys! That ^*$& Anti Dude stole the J.C. Roulette!
Inferno: No he didn’t. He got a copy. We keep the real thing in storage every night.
Katie: But he made something explode with it!
Inferno: We’re on Plit, everything explodes here.
(King Boo finishes a glass of water. The glass explodes. How can he drink if he’s a ghost? Who cares?))
Katie: … Where’s my worthless brother?
(Inferno explains what’s going on.)
Inferno: Anyway, let’s get this Interview started.
One hour later...
King Boo: Welcome to Joshua’s Super Interview Show! Starring the one and only King Boo!
Inferno: Don’t make me melt that shiny, worthless crown of yours.
King Boo: … I’ll be good. Anyway, today we interview… the Four Heroes!
(The audience clearly has no idea who they are.)
King Boo: The Black Chest Demons from Paper Mario 2.
Everyone in the Audience: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Inferno wheels four black chests in.)
King Boo: So anyway, who’s who?
Rogueport Chest Demon: I’m the strong Toad.
Hooktail Castle Chest Demon: I’m the wise Goomba.
King Boo: Isn’t that a paradox?
Hooktail Castle Chest Demon: …
Twilight Town Chest Demon: I’m the magical Boo.
Pirate’s Grotto Chest Demon: I’m the stalwart Koopa.
Author’s Note: Urgh. I have GOT to abbreviate their names…
King Boo: How did the minstrel, Grifty, hear about the tale of the demon, AKA the Shadow Queen?
RCD: Grifty’s ancestor was my best friend. I told him what we did before we went off to hide our stars. When we did not return, he found our chests, but could not find the keys. He was kinda blind… Anyway, I assume he passed down the tales to his descendants.
King Boo: Interesting. Now, how did you seize the Stars when you fought the Shadow Queen?
RCD: We just said “Look, a monkey!” Then the Koopa stole them from under her nose.
King Boo: … Wow, the bossman’s girl is pretty dang stupid.
(Inferno grows flaming claws out of nowhere and slashes King Boo’s face.)
King Boo: ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
Inferno: Cool!
Katie: Men.
(Amazee prances into the studio, does a triple somersault, and lands on Inferno’s new claws.)
Katie: Did anyone else happen to catch that?
Inferno, King Boo, Black Chest Demons, Amazee, and Audience: Catch what now?
Amazee: Amazing!
Katie: … Now would be a good time for a scene change, I think.
With Joshua...
Joshua: (brandishing his wand) Infinite powers, grant me thy strength. Meteor Storm!
Shadoo: Dark Meteor!
(Meteors start trying to hit the pair, but strike each other above them instead… You know what I mean.)
Joshua: Didn’t see that coming. I guess I’ll use the Beam Sword!
Shadoo: I’ll use my Dark Sword.
Joshua: %^&*!!!
(The two clash steel.)
SQ: He’s doomed.
Max: (waking up) Ow… What happened?
SQ: How should I know? Why don’t you use the destinizer thing?
Max: I need my coffee first.
SQ: … ^&%$.
Max: Now that’s just plain rude.
Back at the studio...
You: Aw man, can’t we just watch the fight?
Author: NO!!!
(BIP-BIP-BIP-BIP)
(That was the sound of the four fans leaving this page, due to the author not letting us watch the battle.)
Author: …
King Boo: Well, that was pointless.
Katie: As is everything else we do.
Inferno: But still we get up each day, just to make our mark on Plit.
King Boo: … Your “curses” were actually blessings to Mario, and they helped him defeat the Shadow Queen. Do you realize this?
Demons: *&^%!!!
King Boo: This Interview has a lot of swearing in it.
RCD: I guess a thousand years of being locked in a chest can make you pretty evil. And dull your intellect.
King Boo: Shadow Queen still seemed pretty smart.
Demons: …
King Boo: Who hid which Crystal Star?
RCD: I hid the Crystal Star and the Gold Star. After hiding the Crystal Star, I became a chest. Although, technically, that traveling healer hid the Crystal Star.
HCCD: I hid the Diamond and Emerald Stars. After I hid the Diamond Star, I became a chest.
TTCB: I hid the Ruby Star and the Garnet Star, and after I hid the Ruby Star, I became a chest.
PGCD: I hid the Sapphire Star, and then the curse struck me.
Inferno: (whispering) Katie, these guys all answer the same!
Katie: I know. I’m creeped out too.
King Boo: HCCD, how did Hooktail end up with the Star?
HCCD: I didn’t think she’d expect a Star to be in her own castle. I was wrong. She found and swallowed it for protection. D’oh.
King Boo: TTCD, how long did it take the curse to strike you?
TTCD: Because of my magic, I was able to resist it until I got to the town, but then I succumbed.
King Boo: Thought so. RCD, you were originally from Petal Meadows, right?
RCD: Yep.
King Boo: So, what was up with your voice? ‘Cause it seems normal enough…
RCD: I had a really high voice. Way higher than a normal Toad’s. The other Toads made fun of me. WAH!!!
King Boo: … Are you done?
RCD: *sniff* Yes. Anyway, the curse changed our voices to make them “scary”.
King Boo: You guys aren’t that scary.
BCDs: We know.
King Boo: That’s sad. PGCD, how did you make your way to Keelhaul Key?
PGCD: I got on the S.S. Flavion.
King Boo: Wasn’t that Flavio’s boat?
PGCD: No. I assume that his family’s used the same boat for generations. However, it was Flavion who shipped me to Keelhaul Key. The cheapskates probably never bought a new one.
King Boo: That would not surprise me one bit.
PGCD: Nor I. Anyway, the idiot stole the Skull Gem because it was “shiny”, and left me alone to face Cortez’s wrath. When he defeated me, he took the Star and I became a chest.
King Boo: Ok, you’ve mentioned the curse… a lot. What exactly did it entail?
HCCD: Whenever we didn’t have a Crystal Star in our possession, a black box sealed our souls, obviously. It also altered our voices, to try to make them scary… which didn’t work.
King Boo: Lame.
HCCD: Yeah. Since our souls were sealed, we’ll live forever, unless the box is destroyed. We were also given the power to “curse” others. That didn’t work too well either…
King Boo: Yeah, this is a really lame curse the Shadow Queen put on you.
Inferno: Stop insulting the master’s chick!
(He slashes King Boo again.)
King Boo: I’ve learned a lesson indeed.
HCCD: It also changed our souls into demons. This was to help with the cursing and eternal life thing.
King Boo: So, how did you create the Magical Map?
TTCD: We infused the power of the Crystal Stars into an ordinary map of the continent. This map would change as the countries changed, such as the growth of Glitzville.
King Boo: Clever. I think it’s time for-
Katie: The J- er, K.C. Roulette!
King Boo: I was going to say “audience questions”…
Katie: TOUGH!!! Spin!
Inferno: Round and round and round it goes, where it stops, nobody knows!
Katie: … The person is Inferno.
Inferno: Says on the wheel it’s Petey Piranha.
Katie: Again, TOUGH!!! The event is that I get to dump a large pile of sand on you!
Inferno: What?
(Katie leaves, then comes back driving a dumptruck full of sand, which she proceeds to dump on Inferno. However, he’s so hot, it turns into glass.)
Katie: Didn’t see that coming.
King Boo: Audience time?
(Katie nods.)
King Boo: Yes! This means I get to use the SUPER NUMBER RANDOMIZER!!
Katie: Nope. Only Joshua has the key to do that. And he must’ve had it on him when he left.
King Boo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Katie: Whiner.
King Boo: I’m not as bad as Crump, though.
Katie: True.
(She then knocks Amazee into a pit of hydrochloric acid.)
Katie: I was wondering where that was.
King Boo: Block 4, Row 9, Seat 3?
Daisy: What have you done since Mario released you?
RCD: When the Shadow Queen was released, we were sucked back into our boxes, and we’re waiting for someone to release us. Which means we’ll have to “curse” them.
King Boo: Final question. Block 8, Row 3, Seat 6!
Squiglet: How-
(Inferno suddenly breaks out of the glass, sending shards raining into the first 3 audience blocks.)
Inferno: SUPER PAPER MARIO GOOMBA EQUIVALENT! KILL!!!
(He obliterates the Squiglet and Amazee.)
Katie: …
(Engarde and Touché walk in, having a fight about who’s the better swordsminion.)
Engarde: Minion?
(You ain’t human.)
Engarde: Oh. Hey, how’d Inferno get stuck in a glass prison?
Katie: Long story.
King Boo: Block 7, Row 7, Seat 7!
Pianta Changer (No, I don’t know how it got here! Magic?): WHY DID THE SHADOW QUEEN CURSE YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE? END QUESTION.
PGCD: Because she wanted revenge on us for defeating her. Duh…
King Boo: Ok, that’s it-
Pianta Changer: END TRANSMISSION.
King Boo: DANG IT!!!
(END TRANSMISSION)
Meanwhile at the bottom of the Flopside Pit of 100 Trials...
(Joshua and Shadoo are still swordfighting while meteors clash in midair and fall around them.)
Max: Epic stuff.
Shadoo: You cannot win. Surrender and I will spare your life.
Joshua: No can do, I’m-a kicking your butt from here to San Francisco.
Shadoo: … What kind of lame line is that?
Joshua: Silence, non-believer!
(He switches back to his wand.)
Joshua: Gentle winds, gather before me, and transform into waves of air! Cyclone!
(Cookies to anyone who can guess where all of Joshua’s spells and incantations are coming from.)
(A large tornado whips up under Shadoo and lifts him up high. The winds cut at him, doing damage. Some meteors hit him for even more damage.)
Joshua: All right, time to finish you off! I call upon the power of the holy blades! Prism Sword!
(A circle of light surrounds Shadoo, and he is slashed by blades of light. Joshua then slashes him with a larger blade, for an insane amount of damage.)
Joshua: I win!
Shadoo: Not… quite…
(He struggles to his feet.)
Shadoo: Yeah… I’m not done yet. I’ll use my full power on you now! But I’ll need some help…
(He takes control of Max’s mind with demon power. That’s quite ironic, since Max is a demon now.)
Max: Must… fight it… DESTINIZE!!!
Shadoo: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Joshua and SQ: No!
(Shadoo glows for a second, and then grows wings. They’re basically large bat wings, but you can see the bones, because there’s no skin covering them. Ah, you know what I mean, again.)
Joshua: Oh snap.
SQ: Max, how strong is he? What are his attack, HP, and defense?
(Max uses the Tattle Log, which he stole from Goombella on his way to the studio after Shadoo kidnapped the Shadow Queen.)
Max: THEY’RE OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!
SQ: All of them?!
Joshua: … Did we HAVE to use that joke?
Max: Yes.
Joshua: …
Shadoo: So… Ready for round two?
Joshua: Bring it on. Oh, bring it on…
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