Wario: Wahaha, I just got us a money-making scheme on our hands, Waluigi!
Koopa Troopa: But my name's Bill.
Wario: Get out of my house, Bill!
Bill: No, you get out of my house!
Wario: This is clearly my house, I've had the painting over there in my house for two days!
Bill: It’s been in my house for twenty years!
Wario: Really? Well I don't see why you'd be lying, so I guess I'll get going.
Bill: I'm pressing charges against you!
Wario: Haha, yeah.
Wario leaves the house and goes to his own house.
Wario: Are you Waluigi?
Waluigi: I hope so. What have you been up to, this guy named Bill keeps calling about charges or something.
Wario: How is that even possible if he doesn't even know me and I didn't give him my number?
Waluigi: I don't think the author thought about that.
Wario: I'm sure he'll edit it, he's a good man. Now anyway, haha and all that, money-making scheme on our hands.
Waluigi: What?
Wario: I've been repeating it to everyone until I got here!
Waluigi: You only said it to one person!
Wario: How would you know, you weren't with me!
Waluigi: Whoops, another author mistake.
Wario: Stop with the wall-breaking, we just fixed it the other day!
Waluigi: Please, go on with your money scheme or whatever you were talking about.
Wario: Well, Bowser saw the error in his ways, and is going to let us help him with this party he's having!
Waluigi: Party? Sounds lame! Like... really lame!
Wario: Actually, the theme is disco and a lot of people are going to be there. He's going to pay us well, but I got an even better plan!
Waluigi: It's probably lame, but I'll listen.
Wario: We’re going to rip him off, we'll take all the profit he makes from it and leave, we'll be somewhat rich!
Waluigi: Actually that doesn't sound lame at all, count me in!
Wario: We’re going to have to do some chores, but it's a small price to get rich!
Waluigi: I thought you said somewhat rich.
Wario: How am I supposed to know how much money we'll get?
Waluigi: I don't know, we'll ask him.
Wario: Are you stupid? Actually, don't answer that. We'll look suspicious if we ask him!
Waluigi: Wow, you're making sense!
Wario: You know it, now we have to meet with Bowser tomorrow to get stuff for the disco.
The next day, over at Bowser's Castle...
Wario: Hey Bowser!
Waluigi: You really have to learn about knocking on doors first.
Knock knock...
Bowser: Ah, Wario and Waluigi! Come in!
Wario: That's exactly what I'll do.
Waluigi: Me too!
Bowser: Now, I rented out the Mushroom Hall for the disco, and tickets are selling like crazy, so we got all that set-up. Now all we need to do is get the supplies, and this is where you two come in. We'll need some balloons, plastic cups for drinks, drinks, the works.
Waluigi: You mean you can't just go to the store and buy this stuff?
Bowser: Do you know how much it cost to rent out the Mushroom Hall? No way, I'm not paying outrageous prices for these things.
Wario: Balloons? At a disco?
Bowser: Yeah, every disco has them.
Wario: Go back in time, no disco has balloons!
Bowser: No, YOU go back in time, discos totally have balloons.
Wario: Look, we’re not stealing balloons for you.
Bowser: I hired you to do this for me.
Wario: I didn't agree to stealing balloons. That's just stupid.
Waluigi: And he knows about stupid!
Bowser: Fine, a disco with no balloons, just great! I guess you'll object to plastic cups too.
Wario: Don't worry, we'll get the rest.
Bowser: Oh, but you won't get balloons.
Wario: Look, drop it. Just give us a list of what we need.
Bowser: Here, I already made it, now get going.
Waluigi: Uh, before we leave, why are you having a disco party?
Bowser: Everybody loves discos!
Waluigi: Do you have a better reason?
Bowser: I may or may not steal Peach.
Waluigi: Okay then.
Wario and Waluigi leave and go back to Toad Town later at night to get the supplies.
Wario: Well, since we don't got money either, we’re going to have to steal some stuff as well.
Waluigi: What's on the list?
Wario: Uh, we need some food and drinks, so we'll have to rob the grocery store.
Waluigi: That's just low.
Wario: Deal with it. Here, take this cardboard box and put it over your head, I poked eye holes for you.
Waluigi: What do you get to wear?
Wario: This ski-mask.
Waluigi: How come you get a ski-mask?
Wario: Look, it's the only one we got, besides, there's nothing wrong with wearing a cardboard box, if the cops come, you can even hide in it.
Waluigi: I can't even see with it this dark.
Wario: We have to do it at night, it'd look pretty suspicious during the day. Do you want a lot of money or what?
Waluigi: Fine...
Wario and Waluigi barge into the grocery store with very few people in there.
Wario: Okay, everyone on the ground, we have Fire Flowers ready to use. We just came inside to get some food, this is not stealing!
Waluigi: I'll stand guard, you get the food, Wario.
Wario: Are you stupid, you just said my name out loud!
Waluigi: Oh, Mr. Paranoid over here.
Wario: Whatever, we’re totally going to get caught for this.
Waluigi: Okay, everyone stay down!
A Koopa keeps puttting groceries in his cart.
Waluigi: Or you can keep doing whatever you're doing, that's cool.
Wario quickly comes back with food in shopping carts.
Wario: Okay, let’s go!
Wario and Waluigi run out with the shopping carts all in tow and race over to the Mushroom Hall to store all the food.
Wario: We'll just put all this bologna in the fridge, the disco is tomorrow night anyway.
Waluigi: Wait a minute, all you got was bologna and bread?
Wario: Yeah.
Waluigi: What'd you do? Take all the bread and bologna they had?
Wario: Yeah. Oh, plus, before I forget, Bowser put you in charge of making the food.
Waluigi: So what, all we’re having is bologna sandwiches!
Wario: Yeah, I didn't know what else to get. Also, I got some punch!
Waluigi: Bologna sandwiches! Do you have any idea how many people will be there?!
Wario: Gee, probably a couple of hundred.
Waluigi: Do you even know how hungry they’re going to be? I'll be making bologna sandwiches all night!
Wario: It won't be that bad.
Waluigi: Yes, it will!
Wario: Well too bad, now help me go steal come plastic cups.
Waluigi: There's a bunch right next to you.
Wario: Ah... you're right. Just cross that off the list. We need some tables.
Waluigi: Tables? We've got tables here.
Wario: Yeah, but Bowser wants tables.
Waluigi: Even though we have tables here, you want to get more, yet you won't do that for the plastic cups.
Wario: Yeah, funny how things work out, now lets go get some tables!
Wario and Waluigi go get some tables and bring them back to the Mushroom Hall.
Waluigi: Wait, how did we get these tables?
Wario: He said we got them, so I'm not complaining.
Waluigi: Yes, but it doesn't make any sense.
Wario: I don't blame him, how can you put table-stealing in a story? I mean, stealing tables is just wrong.
Waluigi: Yes, for those reading, a table is for more than just putting your belongings on it or for eating on, it can be used for counting money, or looking at it. Remember, stealing others’ tables is wrong.
Wario: *sniff*
Waluigi: Was what I said emotional?
Wario: No, I'm actually coming down with a cold I think.
Waluigi: Will this cold come later during the story?
Wario: No, it actually won't.
Waluigi: Oh. Well we’d better get the rest of this stuff for Bowser.
Wario: He also wants a... disco ball.
Waluigi: Where can we get a disco ball?
Wario: I got an idea, but we'll have to do it tomorrow morning, so let’s just finish this tomorrow.
Waluigi: All right then.
The next day at the dump...
Waluigi: Uh, why are we at the dump?
Wario: I found a disco ball here a couple of days ago.
Waluigi: What were you doing at the dump?
Wario: Oh, I'm sure you remember it from a certain Scribble.
Waluigi: No... I don't.
Wario: Oh, well I was here looking for a book on what to find at dumps but I couldn't find any.
Waluigi: Let’s just find this disco ball. Is that it over there?
Wario: No, that's a red ball.
Waluigi: Is that it?
Wario: No, that's a tire.
Waluigi: Is that it?
Wario: That's a square box!
Waluigi: Well I give up.
Wario: Oh, I found it.
Waluigi: How come it took you, like, two seconds?
Wario: I'm just that great.
Waluigi: What's next on the list?
Wario: Actually, that's it.
Waluigi: Hey, wait a minute, what's this?
Wario: I think it's a meat-slicer.
Waluigi: I'm totally taking this.
Wario: Fine, let’s get going to Bowser then.
Wario and Waluigi go over to Bowser's Castle.
Wario: We’re here at Bowser's Castle!
Waluigi: That was already stated.
Bowser: Glad to see you two here at Bowser's Castle!
Waluigi: Why are you guys making the point that we’re at Bowser's Castle- Dang it, I did it.
Bowser: I trust you got everything.
Wario: Yeah, we set it all up at the Mushroom Hall.
Bowser: Good, I guess I'll see you two tonight.
Waluigi: Wait a second, Bowser, about making those bologna sandwiches...
Bowser: What? Bologna sandwiches? That's what you guys got for food?
Wario: Hey, we had a limited time at the store, I wasn't going to take my time going through all those aisles, you have to act fast!
Bowser: Yeah but... bologna sandwiches... I love bologna sandwiches! How did you guys know?
Wario: Well, you're full of it, so it wasn't hard.
Bowser: For two guys that want to work for money, you sure don't mind making fun of the employer here.
Wario: Sorry.
Bowser: I'll forgive you because you got bologna sandwiches.
Waluigi: Anyway, about that, I don't mind making them, but I'm only doing it for a limited time.
Bowser: What do you mean?
Waluigi: I'm only making them until around midnight. After that, I'm done. I'm not making bologna sandwiches all night for hungry people!
Bowser: Oh come on! Fine, but you're not getting paid as much.
Waluigi: Wah...
Bowser: Now get going, I'm getting sick of both of you!
Later that night at the Disco Party...
Wario: This is an awesome disco, Bowser!
Bowser: Yeah, it would be better with BALLOONS, but it'll do.
Waluigi: Hey, I thought you planned on stealing Peach?
Bowser: Aw man, I totally forgot to send her an invitation.
Wario: So much for your plan!
Bowser: Yeah, I guess. Give me another bologna sandwich, Waluigi.
Waluigi: Fine, I'll just use my meat-slicer here... Here you go.
Bowser: Thanks... Wait, I mean, yeah you better give me that sandwich.
Wario: Wait, is that Mario?
Bowser: What? No, that's Dr. Mario.
Waluigi: Aren't they the same person?
Bowser: No, that's Dr. Mario. Mario is my enemy.
Waluigi: But Dr. Mario isn't?
Bowser: Yeah, enemies with Dr. Mario? Where do you guys make this stuff up?
Wario: Whatever, I'm going to get funky now.
Wario rips off his fancy suit to reveal a white suit.
Bowser: Why didn't you just wear your white suit?
Wario: Wah, don't question it.
Waluigi: Wouldn't it be hot wearing two suits?
Bowser: How can you even wear two suits?
Wario: Forget about it. Dr. Mario, play a hot tune!
Dr. Mario: I only know two, and I'm not even good at one of them.
Wario: Well play me the bad one.
Waluigi: Why?
Wario: He needs to practice so he can get better.
Wario gets in the middle of the dance floor.
Wario: Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah! Wahing alive, wahing alive! Wahing aaaaaallllliivve!
Waluigi: Wario, are we going to steal the money or what?
Wario: Why would you say that out loud in the middle of the dance floor!
Waluigi: We’re outside.
Wario: How'd we get out here?
Waluigi: I don't know, I need to finish making those sandwiches.
Waluigi goes back inside.
Wario: I'll follow.
Wario does.
Toad: Give me another sandwich!
Waluigi: Fine, loser.
Toad: I'm not a loser.
Waluigi: Fine, loser.
Gourmet Guy: WHY ARE YOU USING A MEAT-SLICER?!
Waluigi: Uh... The bologna sandwich-making is officially over.
Everyone: Boo!
Wario: I can't believe everyone could say "Boo!" at the same time, and in the same tone.
Dr. Mario: I didn't say "Boo!"
Wario: Well, the author sure is giving us the wrong assumption. It should be everyone but Dr. Mario.
Gourmet Guy: I need another sandwich, you Wah-guy.
Waluigi: That's Waluigi to you!
Gourmet Guy: Whatever, I need a bologna cake.
Waluigi: You know what, just take all the rest of this bologna!
Waluigi gives Gourmet Guy the rest of the bologna. Gourmet Guy goes and dances on the dance floor.
Wario: I'm tired of this Disco party, I'm getting out of here.
Waluigi: With the... green... uh... uh... green... apples.
Wario: What are you talking about?
Waluigi: The... you know...
Wario: The money?
Waluigi: Yeah, say it out loud.
Wario: Nobody can hear us, besides, Dr. Mario is making a nice distraction.
Dr. Mario: Drink Dr. Koopa, trust me, I'm a Doctor!
Wario: Well, I don't know why he'd be lying.
Waluigi: Let’s get going!
Wario: Hey Bowser.
Bowser turns around calmly.
Bowser: You startled me, now what do you want?
Wario: Where'd you store all the money you saved up?
Bowser: Over near the entrance in a plastic cup.
Waluigi: Why?
Bowser: Because we don't got balloons. Now leave me alone.
Wario: Fine.
Wario and Waluigi take the plastic cup full of money and go home.
Wario: Wow, that was totally easier then I expected.
Waluigi: Yeah, there wasn't even any conflict of us getting away with it.
Just then, a window breaks in the house.
Waluigi: We’re going to have to pay to fix that.
Wario: Don't worry, we got plenty of money!
A bigger window breaks.
Wario: Uh... Maybe not so much.
Waluigi: Hey, remember when you said, "Bowser saw the error in his ways." What did you mean by that?
Wario: What?
Waluigi: Yeah, you said he saw the error of his past ways, or something like that.
Wario: How would you even remember that?
Waluigi: I don't know. Well, I guess that raps this Scribble up.
Wario: Yeah, this went longer than the author expected.
Waluigi: But first, we have to take all the money we earned and waste it on new windows. Which stinks!
Wario: Hope the author doesn't cut any of these parts-
Shennigans later.
Wario: There, new windows!
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