I'm Throwing Hammers!
 
By Fireball

All was fine in Mushroom Kingdom like always, and we see Toad cleaning up the floors while listening to Banjo-Tooie music.

Toad: I have a crazy vibe that Toadsworth is going to come in and make me do some stupid task.

Toadsworth: That vibe is right, Toad.

Toad: *groan* I was hoping the vibe was off...

Toadsworth: Now, I do have a task for you as well, and I plan on coming with you.

Toad: Let me guess, Peach has been captured by Bowser once again?

Toadsworth: Right on spot, Toad!

Toad: What?! You got to be kitten me! I was joking, I went to Bowser's Castle awhile ago to get Peach, and she wasn't there!

Toadsworth: Did you just say... "kitten"?

Toad: Yes.

Toadsworth: What is that, what all the hip Toads are doing now?

Toad: No, I just like using the phrase.

Toadsworth: Oh, well I just never heard of it being used before.

Toad: Do you like it?

Toadsworth: Yes, it sounds fresh.

Toad: So, give me the whole situation here of our task.

Toadsworth: Go over to Bowser's Castle, save Peach.

Toad: Mario is on a vacation, I assume, once again?

Toadsworth: I don't think so, I'm pretty sure he's sleeping.

Toad: What? He's supposed to be the hero!

Toadsworth: What are we supposed to do, Toad? Wake him up?

Toad: Yes!

Toadsworth: Well, that would be rude, don't you think?

Toad: Uh...

Toadsworth: Plus, what is that music you're listening to?

Toad: Banjo-Tooie, an old classic game. If you don't have the Banjo-Kazooie series, get it, get it now.

Toadsworth: It is quite good music, it makes me want to dance!

CRACK

Toadsworth: My back... uh...

Toad: Are you ok?

Toadsworth: I should be fine, but I think I won't be able to come with you, Toad.

Toad: I don't mind, I'm not in the mood of getting dressed up as Luigi and being beaten up today anyway.

Toadsworth: Well... just don't stand there, get going!

Toad: Gee, pushy.

So Toad went off and trailed over to Bowser's Castle, but then bumped into a strange character...

Toad: Woah, who are you?

Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother: Me? I'm an Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother.

Toad: Gee, last time I saw you guys was Super Mario World.

Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother: Hey, just because my kind is only in a game or two, it doesn't mean we’re not popular.

Toad: I'm pretty sure everyone’s forgotten you guys.

Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother: What? We’re the most popular enemy ever.

Toad: No, you're not.

Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother: Seriously? That makes me want to throw hammers!

Toad: Woah, woah, no need to throw hammers.

Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother: All right, I'll calm down a bit.

Toad: Are you going to attack me?

Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother: I don't know why I would do that, unless you made me angry, then I would start throwing hammers.

Toad: So, you're not working for Bowser?

Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother: No, I'm not. In fact, I hate him. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw some hammers around.

Toad: *Phew!* I thought I was going to get beat up again.

Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother: You know what, I like you.

Toad: Huh, well, do you have a shorter name for yourself? Saying Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother will get tiring after awhile.

Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother: My name is actually, Pete.

Toad: All right, so what did Bowser do to make you hate him?

Pete: Well, it's like this... I was flying around, and Bowser had his Clown Copter and...

Flashback

CRASH

Pete: Oh, this is just nice!

Bowser: Woah, I am so sorry.

Pete: Oh, I can't believe this just happened!

Bowser: I'm so sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going.

Pete: Weren't watching? Buddy, I don't know if you realize this, but you're driving a COPTER around!

Bowser: I didn't mean to.

Pete: Ah! I'm throwing hammers!

Bowser: Woah, woah, it's all right, it can buff out.

Pete: Ah! All right, but I'll be sending you the charges.

Bowser: Just send them to Lemmy.

Pete: All right then!

End of Flashback

Pete: He didn't even pay for the charges! I threw hammers like crazy when he didn't pay for it!

Toad: Well, maybe you would like some revenge...?

Pete: Yes, I'm listening.

Toad: I have to go over to Bowser's Castle and save the princess.

Pete: Maybe this will be my chance to throw some hammers around.

Toad: Yes, this is your chance.

Pete: All right then, I'll come with you.

Toad: Great.

Pete and Toad make it to the entrance of Bowser's Castle...

Dry Bones: Look, it's Toad and a Flyin' Hammer Brother.

Pete: That's an Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother to you.

Hammer Bro: Whatever, you're still just a Flyin' Hammer Brother.

Pete: No, I'm Amazing... Flyin' Hammer Brother.

Dry Bones: What do you guys want?

Toad: We want to enter the castle.

Hammer Bro: How about, no?

Pete: Look, if you don't let us through, I'm going throw some hammers around.

Dry Bones: How fast do you throw these hammers?

Pete: So fast, I'm unpredictable.

Dry Bones: He'll crush my bones...

Hammer Bro: Hey, I’ve got hammers as well.

Pete: Do you?

Hammer Bro: Yeah.

Pete: Do you have an unlimited supply of hammers?

Hammer Bro: Well... no.

Pete: That's what I thought; I do. Now, do you want me to throw some hammers!

Hammer Bro: No! Go right in!

Pete: That's more like it.

So Toad and Pete enter Bowser's Castle

Bowser: Woah, what do you guys want?

Pete: I'm a bit angry, which makes me want to throw hammers, but you dented my Amazing Flyin' Vehicle, and I'm a bit mad!

Bowser: I said I was sorry.

Pete: You didn't even pay for the charges. That's it, I'm throwing hammers!

Bowser: Take it easy, let’s discuss things here.

After awhile of settling in...

Toad: What we want is, Peach.

Pete: I also want to throw some hammers.

Bowser: Look, I thought we agreed we wouldn't throw hammers!

Pete: You agreed, I didn't.

Toad: He’s got you there.

Bowser: Shut up.

Toad: I thought this was a professional discussion.

Bowser: I lied.

Pete: Look, just give us the princess and maybe I won't throw any hammers around!

Bowser: How many hammers do you have?

Pete: I've got an unlimited supply of hammers.

Bowser: Well, how do you decide on how many hammers you should throw?

Pete: Depends how angry I am; I could throw 8 or 12, maybe even 70.

Bowser: Do these hammers hurt?

Pete: They’re not wooden hammer. They hurt.

Bowser: Well then, how come Mario is never here anymore?

Toad: Mario is sleeping in.

Bowser: Oh, we’d better not wake him then. That would be rude.

Toad: He's a hero, he has a job to do!

Bowser: But he's sleeping...

Pete: Maybe if I threw some hammers, he would wake up.

Toad: Perhaps.

Bowser: Look, just take Peach. I'm not in the mood for my castle to be destroyed by hammers, after it got blown up the last time you guys visited.

Pete: You're making the right choice.

Bowser gives Peach to Toad.

Bowser: Now get going.

Toad, Peach, and Pete are about to leave, until...

Pete: Will you pay for the charges?

Bowser: Maybe.

Pete: Argh! I'm throwing hammers!

Bowser: No!

Pete: I'm thinking 12!

Bowser: Oh-

Pete starts throwing dozens of hammers around.

Pete: Ah!

Bowser gets knocked out by some of the hammers.

Pete: My revenge is complete.

Toad: Can we leave now?

Pete: Yes, we can. It was nice to throw some hammers around.

Peach: Who is this guy?

Toad: Pete, he likes to throw hammers.

Pete: Hammers!

Peach: What kind are you?

Pete: I'm an Amazing Flyin' Hammer Brother.

Peach: Stupid name.

Pete: Stupid? I'm throwing hammers!

Toad: Ugh...

The End

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