Mario: Um... Luigi?
Luigi: What is-
He sees the floating words over Mario, then notices floating words over his head too.
Luigi: OH SWEET DAD, WE'RE IN AN MMORPG!
Mario: Excuse me?
Luigi: An MMORPG is a Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game! Everyone has to do quests and defeat monsters just to get money and food and-
Mario: You don't have to put me to sleep, Luigi. Anyway, I'm heading to the store, MMORPG or not.
Luigi: Bring me a pack of 1-Ups!
Mario: Kay. Um... Luigi? Why does it say you're Level 5?
Luigi: You don't have to make me cry...
Mario heads outside and sees a bunch of Goombas with Level 20s over their heads.
Goomba: There's Mario! Get him!
Mario sighs and jumps on their heads. Surprisingly, this doesn't work.
Mario: What the-?
Luigi pops his head out of a window.
Luigi: Sorry. This is an MMO. Either go out with a weapon or don't go out at all.
Mario: Hmmm.... I’ve got an idea...
He grabs Luigi and tosses him at the Goombas.
Goomba: Sweet! Easy EXP!
Luigi: MARIO!
Mario walks off whistling, not feeling guilty one bit. Eventually, he gets into Toad Town, which is filled a lot of people saying stuff like "What just happened?" "Need help plz!" or "LOL you're all n00bs!"
Ludwig: Mario!
Mario: What the? Ludwig? How'd you get into Toad Town without getting seen?
Ludwig: I'm in a Magikoopa class, so I used a spell of invisibilli-
Mario: What?
Ludwig: MMORPG. Remember?
Mario: Oh.
Ludwig: Anyway! This is all my fault! I was trying to make a machine to prevent RPGs from randomly popping up, but instead I made... THIS!
Mario: Sooo... Why are you here?
Ludwig: Well, my machine kinda took over my dad's castle and I'm the only one who escaped. So I need someone to form a group with me so that we can take down the machine.
Mario: Well, all right then.
Voice: Mario the Warrior and Ludwig the Magikoopa have formed a group!
Mario: Your machine keeps getting weirder and weirder.
Ludwig: I know. Anyway, we must gear up.
Mario: Why?
Ludwig: It's the most sensible thing to do before setting out on a quest!
So the two go to the nearby store and buy a hammer and a set of claws, along with armor and typical MMORPG cliche'd stuff. Now it is finally time for them to set out.Ludwig: To my dad's place!
The two leave Toad Town for the dangerous outskirts, where they fight enemies for EXP, money, and items. That is until Ludwig defeats a Muth.
Mario: Hey! That Muth has something!
Ludwig: You're right... Sweet! Muth Meat!
Mario: And that raises stats, right?
???: It does! And it's delicious!
Then a tongue launches out of nowhere and grabs the Muth Meat. It shoots back into some bushes. After a few seconds, Yoshi emerges from the bushes.
Mario: ... Why'd you eat it, Yoshi?
Yoshi: Well, I don't have a very high strength stat, and I can't fight the Muths.
Mario: You didn't need to steal ours, though...
Ludwig: Yeah! It's rude, and this is coming from a child of Bowser!
Yoshi: Wait! I’ve got an idea! If you get me enough Muth Meat for my stats (and my hunger), I'll join your team!
Mario: Whoohoo! Let's do this for optional characters everywhere!
Ludwig: Darn you, sidequests.
An hour of grinding later...
Yoshi: Oooh! You got the meat, thanks!
Then he gobbled all of them in one gulp. He immediately jumps 10 levels.
Yoshi: Yay! Now my tummy is filled with meat! I'm going with you!
"Yoshi the Glutton has joined the party!"
Yoshi: Uhhhh...
Ludwig: Ignore it.
So the party continue through the outskirts. Mario punches and hammers each enemy in the way, while Ludwig magicks them and Yoshi keeps eating the smaller ones. Their levels have risen a lot by the time they get to the Bowser Badlands.
Mario: Hold on. There's a sign that says PvP Zone.
Yoshi: What's PvP?
Ludwig: A PvP zone is where players can beat the custard out of each other.
Mario: … How come you know all this and I don't?
Yoshi: Wait! It might be dangerous!
Ludwig: Don't worry. What could happen anyway?
They immediately step into the PvP zone. Then they immediately get tackled by two thugs.
Mario: "What could happen anyway?" Stop giving your machine ideas, Ludwig!
???: Hah! I finally got you!
Mario: Wha-What? Luigi?
???: And double for me. I'm not saying there's two of me, I'm saying that there's two of us. Not there is two of each of us, but-
Ludwig: MORTON?!
Morton: Yes! Correct! Si! I have teamed up with Mario's brother in order to get revenge on you guys! You see, revenge is what fills us-
Yoshi: What did we do?
Luigi: Let's see. Mario, you got me beat up and I HAD TO WAIT AN HOUR TO RESPAWN! Yoshi, you ate all my ice cream. I love my ice cream.
Morton: Yes, and you were always the best Koopaling. Bowser Jr doesn't count. You were always the top Koopaling and stuff, so I'm going to save King Dad myself while you respawn for an hour!
Luigi: And I want more street cred than you, Mario.
Mario: ... Street cred?
Ludwig: Enough! We accept your challenge!
They start off well by setting Morton on fire. While he screams how fire is bad for your metabolism, Mario keeps hammering him in the head and Yoshi keeps jumping on him. Luigi is getting completely ignored, as no one takes him seriously. Then he got an idea.
Luigi: Hey Mario! I’ve got some cheese for you!
While Mario isn't an idiot in real life, he indeed loves cheese. Luigi throws a whole cheese wheel to him and Mario begins ignoring the battle, taking his time to eat the cheese and savor it. With Mario under the distracted status, Luigi sneaks onto Yoshi's back and runs him into a tree. Morton and Ludwig duel each other, but Ludwig turns to look at the crash, so Morton punches him in the face.
Yoshi: Mario! We need you!
Then he uses Cure on Mario, curing him of his status. Actually, Yoshi eats the cheese.
Mario: *sniff...* My cheese.... Ah well.
Then he long-jumps into Luigi and begins beating him up. Ludwig and Yoshi manage to gang up on Morton. Soon, both assailants are crying.
Luigi: Pl-Please! STOP! I don't want to respawn! In the waiting room, the Boos are jerks to me!
Ludwig: Only if you help us save King Dad.
Luigi: We're cool with tha-
Mario: NO!
Luigi gives Mario the puppy dog look.
Mario: Okay. But at least level up first.
Several hours of grinding later...
Morton: We are done! We are finished! We have finished training! We're now stronger-
Ludwig: That's enough Morton. Anyway, to King Dad's!
Yoshi: Can we stop at Koopaling Burger on the way?
Ludwig: No.
Luigi: Bathroom please?
Mario: No.
Morton: Hey look, we're finally-
All: SHUT UP, MORTON!
Morton: I was just saying that we made it to King Dad's. Our goal. The last objective of our que-
Yoshi: Oh my god, we're here!
Mario: How did we not notice that?
Luigi: Who cares? We're finally here, aren't we?
Ludwig: Let's go inside!
They enter the castle and are immediately attacked by tough enemies. They proceed through the dungeo- I mean castle, fighting through enemies and heading up through the castle until they finally get to the top, at high levels (except for Luigi). In front of them is a door.
Mario: All right, that took a long time.
Ludwig: Hold on, I'm going to heal you, guy-
But then the door is opened by Luigi.
Luigi: Let's-a go!
Yoshi: Wait! I didn't even eat ye-
Then, due to MMORPG party logic, they are all transported into the next room, and the door shuts tight. Everyone takes the time to hit Luigi until they finally notice a giant machine.
Ludwig: You.
Machine: Ahhhhh... Creator.... You finally came. Are you happy with this world I made?
Ludwig: Nope.
Mario: Sorry, no.
Yoshi: I agree.
Luigi: No way jose!
Morton: Nope, no.... actually they took all the good ones. What's the Spanish word for no?
Machine: Silence! I know you have all come to deprogram me and rescue your family..... Well tough noodles! They are inside of me, and I've used their energy to create the perfect endboss. Behold, the Pandemonium Warden!
Then the machine opens up, releasing a giant monster.
Luigi: ... I need to use the bathroom.
Yoshi: What's that THING?
Ludwig: It's one of the hardest bosses from Final Fantasy XI! It took 18 hours for an entire party to fail to defeat him!
Morton: Oh my DAD. Holy DAD! What the DAD is wrong with the creators? The D-
Mario: Well, here we go.
15 hours later...
Everyone except Yoshi is sleeping in a little nook in the battlefield. Then Yoshi comes, using a potion on himself as he wakes up Mario.
Yoshi: Your turn.
Mario: Kay.
He then tries to walk to the monster... but then falls over, asleep.
Machine: MWHAHAHAHA!!! I WIN!
Ludwig (waking up): Waaaaaiiit... You made that monster, right?
Machine: Yes.
Ludwig: And are you a monster or NPC?
Machine: Monster.
Ludwig: Then shouldn't we attack YOU instead?
Machine: Er...
Mario: *snaps awake* WAIT! WE WASTED 15 HOURS FIGHTING A THING WE DIDN'T NEED TO FIGHT?!
Luigi: Wait, what?!
Yoshi: Huh?
Morton: Drat. All you jerks took all the good stuff. Now I have nothing to say.
All: LET'S GET HIM!
Machine: Oh crud. Save state on a different computer. Saving error. What?
Then the entire party use their best attacks on the machine. The machine ends up blowing up. The Pandemonium Warden then disappears, along with all flying numbers and words. Then out come the other Koopalings and Bowser, who land on the ground.
Mario: ... That was kinda anti-climatic.
Ludwig: But hey, we stopped the MMORPG Machine.
Luigi: Yeah! We did it!
Moton: We did it, we did it, we did it, hooray! Oh yeah, we did it!
Yoshi: Let's go celebrate at Koopaling Burger!
So they all walk off to eat together happily ever after, leaving so many loose ends and plot holes unsolved. But who cares? There's other stuff to do. Super Mario Galaxy 2, anyone?
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