Frost Spiny: As you all know, there are eight lands, one for each Koopaling and one for Bowser. But you may not know that once every 800 years a door in Bowser’s castle opens and leads to the 17th land: Potato Land, the hardest land besides Ludwig’s lab, which explodes periodically. I LIKE PIE!
One day in Bowser’s castle the Koopalings are in the lounge when there is a loud creak, and two seconds later there is a loud explosion that has no relevance to this story.
Larry: What was that sound?
Lemmy: I don’t know.
Wendy: KING DAD, THAT LOUD SOUND MADE ME MESS UP MY NAILS!
Boswer: Sweetums, no need to scream, I’m sitting right next to you.
Wendy: BUT DAD!
Boswer: Ok sweetums, I’ll get you some more Koopa polish later.
Wendy: NO, I WANT IT NOW!
Meanwhile the Koopalings sneak off to find the source of the creak, and Frost Spiny follows to find the source of the irrelevant explosion.
Ludwig: I wonder what that irreverent explosion was?
Meanwhile in Ludwig’s lab…
Fred the Mole: What was that irrelevant explosion that stopped me from digging my hole?
Frost Spiny: I don’t know, that’s why I came here… Look, pie! Yay!
The pie explodes.
Kasira: What was that? Ugh… I finally got this worded just right, and now I accidentally threw it out the window because the noises startled me… Hmpff…
Frost Spiny: PIE!!!
All the vials in Ludwig’s lab crack, and in the distance the Koopalings hear many irrelevant explosions.
Morton: Hey look, it’s that door that is always locked and King Dad says we are too young to knows what’s inside it but I think he just does not know what is behind that door that is open.
The Koopalings go through the door and come to a place that is made of potatoes.
Roy: Why is there a place made of potatoes in the castle?
Iggy: I don’t know.
3 seconds later a giant potato flies down and hits Iggy, and he disappears 1 second later.
Mysterious Voice: 5 lives remaining
Ludwig: Oh, I get it. This is a level, and by the looks of it, a hard one.
Lemmy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! IGGY!!!
Roy: Somebody take the crybaby and let’s start moving.
Larry picks up Lemmy and the remaining Koopalings start going further into the land while potatoes fly around them.
Sometime later…
Roy: Ludwig, when will you get the fire going?
Ludwig: Just a minute, the Fireatron 5,000 is almost ready.
Lemmy: *sniff*
Ludwig: It is done.
Ludwig flicks the switch and about 3 seconds later a giant meatloaf falls on him.
Mysterious Voice: 4 lives remaining.
Morton: Wait, what does a meatloaf have to do with Potatoes Land and…
Mysterious Voice: I don’t know.
Lemmy: *sniff*
Roy: Ok, now let’s get a move on.
Larry: Lemmy, you know that after we win you will get to see Iggy again.
Lemmy: *sniff* Really?
Larry: Yes. (Whew, I really hate the sound of crying.)
The remaining Koopalings trudge across the land After a while and a few incidents they reach a lake of boiling gravy, and in the middle is a mountain with a castle on top.
Larry: Look, it’s the castle.
Morton: Yes, you are correct, my brother, it is the castle, but I thought this was the first level or Potato-1.
Lemmy: I wonder if in the castle there are potato treasures.
Morton: Yes, Brother, but guarding them may be sneaky traps and potato plants.
Larry: Treasure, sneaky, plants, potato… I want iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
Larry runs toward the castle and falls in the gravy and drowns.
Mysterious Voice: 3 lives remaining.
Roy: You know, you are getting very annoying. We know we have three lives left.
Lemmy: Exclamation point!
Mysterious Voice: I’m just doing my job. Hey Rainbow Hair, I like that phrase. Exclamation point, I should use it.
Morton: Look, it is a boat that is waterproof or in this case gravy-proof.
The three Koopalings get in the boat and make their way across the lake, and get to the island.
Morton: That hill is steep.
Roy: Come on, let’s get this over with.
The three Koopalings start climbing the mountain.
Morton: Hey, what is that giant thing rolling down the hill?
Lemmy: It looks like a potato.
Roy: Would you guys just BE QUIET and keep climbing? I’m concentrating on climbing this mountain, so why don’t you to and get this over with?
2 seconds later a potato hits Roy and he disappears.
Mysterious Voice: 2 lives remaining EXCLAMATION POINT!
The Koopalings reach the top of the hill and go into the castle.
Lemmy: Hey, it looked bigger outside than it is inside.
??? (from the other side of the room): I am the…
Flames shoot up, illuminating the figure in the throne.
???: Potato King
Lemmy: Soooooo hot…
Lemmy poofs away in a cartoon cloud.
Mysterious Voice: 1 life remaining EXCLAMATION POINT
Potato King: You shall fail miserably and I shall laugh at your defeat.
Morton: Hey, that’s weird, Lemmy just poofed into a cartoon cloud when none of my brothers did and…
RPG BATTLE Morton: 100
Vs.
Potato King: 1,000
FIRST ROUND
Morton: Why is this just now an RPG and none of the other battles were RPG wait that was my turn.
Potato King uses potato attack thingy.
Potato King: Whoops, I missed.
Morton loses 99 health.
Morton: 1
Potato King: 1,000
SECOND ROUND
Morton: AAAAAA! I’m going to lose! I’ve been saving this speech for a long time so I am going to read it now so…
I stopped the speech there because, well, you know that if I wrote the whole speech… let’s just say we all would (with the exception of Fred the Mole) live a lot longer if we didn’t hear the speech, so here is an INTERUPTION/commercial.
If you like pie then Toad’s @$%#@#$%@# pies are for you, so come to the house with the big sign that says Toad’s @$%#@#$%@# pies…
And back to the story.
Morton: And that’s my final speech.
Potato King loses 1,000,000,000,000,000,000… health.
Morton Wins
Mysterious Voice: Do you want to continue or quit?
Morton: YAY! I won but I will quit to see my loving and caring brothers.
There is a big BOOM and Morton is back in the castle in front of the door. 2 seconds later the rest of the Koopalings except Wendy reappear. Then the door to Potato Land closes.
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