Morton: Hello! Welcome! Greetings! Salutations! Good day! Good morning! Good evening! Happy Octo-
Dark Koopa: Who let Morton in here?
Morton: Bonjour! Hola-
Dark Koopa: Leave.
Morton: Well I never!
Dark Koopa: Okay, so, apparently the one time I forget to check the Roy's Sports Hall poll thing is when Gloomtail's on it, so to make up for this, I'm doing an... Interview?
Lemmy: Yeah, you better. He got no votes, you know.
Dark Koopa: That just means everyone who voted has no taste! Now then, my guest is... Dizzy Dandy. I apologize.
Dizzy Dandy: Wh-what?
Dark Koopa: I'd ask you to sit down but I don't think you're able to do that. Now, for those of us who aren't sure what a Dizzy Dandy is, what are you?
Dizzy Dandy: I am an enemy from Yoshi's Island.
Dark Koopa: There's a lot of those.
Dizzy Dandy: I'm the best one.
Dark Koopa: I don't like this already. Let's get a cheap laugh from Gloomtail then!
Lemmy: He's not here.
Dark Koopa: Why not?
Lemmy: Nobody voted for him.
Dark Koopa: ... What?
Lemmy: You heard me.
Dark Koopa: Didn't I have someone who used to heckle me? Well, besides you anyway.
Lemmy: No.
Dark Koopa: Wonder what happened to that guy.
Thumbs: Hi.
Dark Koopa: Well, I'm sure he's moved on.
Thumbs: ...
Dark Koopa: Anywho, Dizzy Dandy can you please specify what you are?
Dizzy Dandy: No. Why should I give away my secrets for free?
Dark Koopa: Please stop being bothersome or I will use my kung-fu on you.
Dizzy Dandy: You don't look like the type to know kung-fu.
Dark Koopa: Well, I do.
Dizzy Dandy: Oh my... Well, um to answer your question, I am an enemy of Yoshi that poses as one of those collectible flowers. Why is Yoshi collecting flowers anyway?
Dark Koopa: For a 1-up.
Dizzy Dandy: What's a 1-up?
Dark Koopa: Well, if you die and have a 1-up, you come back to life.
Dizzy Dandy: So Yoshi is a zombie?
Dark Koopa: Sure. That works. Now, what are your attacks?
Dizzy Dandy: I roll at Yoshi and if I hit him... It probably hurts. I can't tell because I've never hit him.
Dark Koopa: I often ask myself how Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi can trump an army, but then I remember most of that army is made of people like you.
Dizzy Dandy: You calling me weak?
Dark Koopa: Well, you are defeated simply by running into a wall, aren't you?
Dizzy Dandy: Um...
Dark Koopa: May I remind you that you are under oath?
Dizzy Dandy: Well... yes. Wait, oath?
Dark Koopa: Is it true that you have a tendency to take out some of your allies?
Dizzy Dandy: They got in my way!
Dark Koopa: So you're more harm than good to the Koopa Troop?
Dizzy Dandy: It's their fault. They're dumb!
Dark Koopa: Unlike you, correct?
Dizzy Dandy: Yup!
Dark Koopa: Well, I do believe we need some audience questions. Seat 1.
Morton: Aloha! Konnichih-
Dark Koopa: Seat 12.
Fracktail: THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO BEF-
Dark Koopa: Sorry folks, we have to get our running gags in somewhere! Seat 46.
Flutter: How do you guys survive? What do you eat?
Dizzy Dandy: Bugs, mostly. Most bugs around here are pretty big though...
Flutter: Hey, I'm a bug!
Dizzy Dandy: Ooh.
Flutter: Nooooooo!
(Flutter flees.)
Dark Koopa: Seat 40.
Spear Guy: Why don't you just stop rolling when you miss Yoshi?
Dizzy Dandy: I'm really really dizzy! It's not so easy!
Spear Guy: Well, you killed my brother during one of your rollpages. I hope you're happy!
Dizzy Dandy: Wow, I took a life!
Spear Guy: ... I'M GONNA KI-
Dark Koopa: Uh. Cut to commercial!
()
Announcer: Hey! Do you wanna feel so energetic?!
Swooper: I do!
Announcer: Try Powerthirst! It has gratuitous amounts of energy!
Swooper: Hug!
Announcer: You've tried the worst. Now try the thirs- No hugging!
()
Dark Koopa: And we're back! I bet you thought someone was going to die during that commercial! Well, everybody is safe and unharmed.
Toad: Yay!
Dark Koopa: Except Toad.
(Toad is hit with a comedic rubber hammer.)
Toad: Hey, that's slightly annoying! But it didn't hurt me!
(Toad explodes.)
Dark Koopa: Anyhow, I think we should get to more questions! Aren't I enthusiastic?
Lemmy: Yeah, you're usually complaining.
Dark Koopa: Well, I've been looking at the bright side of things lately. For example, I'm not a Gloomba!
Lemmy: That is pretty fortunate.
Gloomba: Jerks!
Dark Koopa: Now Dizzy Dandy, why haven't you appeared in any other games besides the two Yoshi's Islands?
Dizzy Dandy: Well, posing as a flower isn't very effective when nobody is trying to collect flowers... So no use, I guess.
Dark Koopa: Are you even a real species?
Dizzy Dandy: No, I'm pretty sure Kamek used his magic on normal flowers to create us.
Dark Koopa: He should just make everything alive instead of sending Koopas and Shy Guys to their death!
Lemmy: But then we'd have more creatures as dumb as Dizzy Dandy.
Dark Koopa: A fine point!
Dizzy Dandy: Hey! Stop being mean!
Dark Koopa: Or what? You'll roll at me?
Dizzy Dandy: Darn it, how did you know?
Dark Koopa: I'm psychic.
Dizzy Dandy: I thought you knew kung-fu.
Dark Koopa: I do!
Dizzy Dandy: You can't be both. The fighting type is weak to psychic!
Dark Koopa: I'm ignoring that. Now, why do you do this evil laugh in Yoshi's Island DS before you attack?
Dizzy Dandy: Hey man, I'm a villain! Villains needs evil laughs!
Dark Koopa: I suppose. It only further gives you away though.
Dizzy Dandy: Worth it.
Dark Koopa: It really isn't.
Dizzy Dandy: You're such a killjoy. You've killed two things today: Toad and joy.
Dark Koopa: Hey, Toad is probably alive.
Lemmy: Nope.
Dark Koopa: Quiet you. Well then, I think that's all we have for today! Any closing words, Dizzy Dandy?
Dizzy Dandy: Yeah, I've seen this show before. Isn't something supposed to die? Well, besides Toad and joy.
Dark Koopa: Well... if you insist. Let's bring out the Wheel of Fate!
Thumbs: I thought you were tired of stealing jokes.
Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!
Thumbs: No, I guess not.
Dark Koopa: Now, let's spin the wheel!
(Before the wheel can be spun, Dizzy Dandy laughs evilly and rolls into the Wheel of Fate, both disappearing when it makes contact.)
Dark Koopa: How does that work?
Thumbs: End transmission joke now, right? Right?
(Nope.)
Thumbs: Bullocks.
Dark Koopa: Oh yes! I got a few Emails asking me to bring Pink back, so... here you go.
(Dark Koopa places a pink jar of mayonaise in front of the camera.)
Dark Koopa: There. Now stop bothering me.
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