Kody: WHERE’S THAT COPY?
Ludwig: I have no idea what you are talk– AGGHB!
Kody: YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT I MEAN! I– No… Must… play… Brawl…
(Kody collapses onto the ground, convulsing.)
Dimentio: And remember, kids! Don’t grow too attached to the game, or it will attach to YOU! Ha ha ha…
Ludwig: Or you’ll just become addicted to it like him.
Kody: …Must… play…
Lemmy: Well, he’s in no shape to interview, or play, anything, so let’s drag him off to the hospital.
Ludwig: K.
At the hospital...
Kody: Thanks for getting me this patch, guys. I’m sorry for acting like a total jerk.
Ludwig: Eh, well…
Tira: Hm… It seems you have a visitor.
Kody: A visitor?
(Dark Koopa, Pura, and Thumbs come in.)
Lemmy: Oh great.
Dark Koopa: Hey, this isn’t my house!
Thumbs: Then why did you keep pointing at the ward saying “Home Sweet Home!”?
Dark Koopa: I don’t know.
Pura: Heeeeey… you!
Kody: Uh oh…
Pura: Hmm, that’s strange. I feel the smallest drop of pity for you. That can’t be good, I’ll have to do something about that later.
Kody: Wow, that’s a relief.
Dark Koopa: Well while we’re here, we might as well do an Interview.
Kody: … You’re kidding, right?
Dark Koopa: Nope.
Kody: Too bad. I can’t interview.
Dark Koopa: Then get one of your crew to help me.
Kody: Rigel, you do it.
Rigel: Why?
Kody: Because I randomly picked you out of everybody else, from my head.
Rigel: And that’s a viable reason, how?
Kody: You were the one picked.
Rigel: No, sorry.
Kody: I’ll give you some vanadium.
Rigel: Vanadium!
Dark Koopa: Wonderful, another catchphrase.
Bullet Bill: Aluminum!
Dark Koopa: Out!
Bowser: BOOM!
(The Bullet Bill explodes.)
Kody: … Didn’t see that one coming. Anyway, Flurrie is next on the list, so…
Flurrie: Was I mentioned?
Kody: Zzzzz…
Rigel: Bleh. I might as well. Yeah, you were mentioned, and we’re going to interview you, so get uncomfortable.
Flurrie: Being interviewed in a patient’s ward already makes me feel uncomfortable.
Dark Koopa: Live with it.
Flurrie: No.
Dark Koopa: Do not defy me, for I am God.
Gloomtail: No, I am.
Dark Koopa: Who let you in here?
Gloomtail: I only show up when someone tries to steal my title.
Dark Koopa: Whatever. Now that I think about it, why do we have an audience in a hospital?
Rigel: 'Cause.
Dark Koopa: Works for me. Now Flurrie... what are you?
Flurrie: I am a wind spirit.
Rigel: And I'm a talking machine.
Dark Koopa: No you're not.
Rigel: You just scored on your own net.
Dark Koopa: Does that make sense?
Rigel: Do you?
Dark Koopa: Yes.
Rigel: Then so do I. Whew, I was beginning to think I wasn't normal.
Dark Koopa: You just scored on your own net.
Rigel: ...
Dark Koopa: Just continue.
Rigel: So Flurrie, when did you start your theater career?
Flurrie: Well...
(The hospital room starts to fill with smoke.)
Fracktail: THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO BEFORE THE-
Rigel: What's he doing here?
Dark Koopa: Probably followed me. Lots of annoying people do.
Bullet Bill: Aluminum!
Dark Koopa: See?
Rigel: Right, now can Flurrie answer the question?
Flurrie: Basically what the robotic dragon said. I've been into acting for a very long time.
Thumbs: Why are we here anyway? Are we going to be doing anything?
Dark Koopa: No.
Thumbs: Then can we leave?
Dark Koopa: No.
Thumbs: Jerk.
(Pura's cell phone rings.)
Pura: ...
Mr. L: Knock knock.
Pura: You're dead.
Mr. L: You're supposed to say "Who's there?"
(Pura hangs up and stomps out of the room.)
Dark Koopa: Can we do this Interview somewhere else? I hate hospitals. It has creepy people in white lab coats.
Thumbs: Dentists?
Dark Koopa: Not quite, but they're creepy too. What kind of sicko enjoys looking at... teeth?
Rigel: Morton.
Morton: Shiny...
Clover: STOP LOOKING AT MY TEETH!
Ludwig: Close your mouth if you want him to stop.
Clover: Good idea.
Morton: Aw. Guess I'll just read this speech-
(Everybody runs out of the room… except Kody.)
Kody: Oh no...
****
Dark Koopa: Well we're on this barren patch of land, so let's continue the Interview.
Pura: Darn, you found me.
(Pura starts to walk away.)
Dark Koopa: Do not walk away from me, servant!
Pura: What was that?
Dark Koopa: Uh... Nothing.
Pura: That's what I thought.
(Pura leaves.)
Dark Koopa: Sooner or later she'll come around.
Rigel: Right... So, if you're a wind spirit, how can you be damaged by spiky enemies?
Flurrie: Wind spirits have feelings too, my dear- I mean senses.
Dark Koopa: Same thing with fire enemies, huh?
Flurrie: Well... yes.
Rigel: What about that necklace you have? Where did that come from?
Flurrie: Gift from a friend.
Dark Koopa: Sure is vague in here.
Thumbs: We're outside.
Dark Koopa: No fixing me!
Thumbs: It's correcting.
Dark Koopa: Shut it! So what's with the hair? Trying to look like Ludwig?
Ludwig: Doesn't everyone want to look like me?
Dark Koopa: No.
Flurrie: I had this hairstyle first.
Ludwig: You take that back!
(Then the scene changes to Pura.)
Pura: No it doesn't.
(Or maybe not.)
Dark Koopa: I think I need another close-up.
Stupid Cameraman: Uh, okay.
Flurrie: Isn't this Interview about me? I want the close-up!
Dark Koopa: Um, no, every Interview is about me. Even the ones I don't appear in.
Flurrie: ... Let's have a buttering of the toast contest.
Rigel: Let's not and say we did.
Dimentio: I despise toast. I prefer biscuits.
Dark Koopa: Who let the clown in here?
Dimentio: I am not a clown! How many times do I have to tell you?
Dark Koopa: Silence, clown.
Dimentio: Sorry, but I'm part of Kody's crew, so I will not be silent.
Rigel: Okay freak.
Dimentio: Jolly good.
Rigel: ... K. Why did you... help Mario in the first place?
Flurrie: Well he did find my beautiful necklace, I simply HAD to repay him.
Rigel: Why? Mario finds the strangest things all the time.
Mario: Look! A piece of string! Haha!
Rigel: And however mindless they may be, they sure keep him busy.
Tira: And out of the Interview.
Meta Knight: Guess he's not feeling too lazy then.
Mario: *gasp* A piece of lumber!
Rigel: Urgh...
Dark Koopa: Who are all these idiots? The only moron I recognize is Mario.
(Mario starts tearing down trees.)
Flurrie: No! Not the trees!
Dark Koopa: Where exactly are we anyway?
Rigel: Boggly Woods.
Dark Koopa: Keep going, Mario.
Mario: Okey dokey.
Flurrie: The poor Punies!
Dark Koopa: Why do you like Punies anyway?
Flurrie: They reminded me of myself when I was very young, and they're so cute! Plus they looked after me when I settled down here, after I got away from all the paparazzi.
Clover: You phail.
Dark Koopa: Ew, a character from that annoying girls show.
Clover: Don't ask me, ask the author.
(Clover is hit by two crates.)
Clover: Ow. Hey, I said author, not authors!
(More crates)
Clover: I'll shut up.
Kody's Author: Good.
Rigel: ... Yeeeeaaah, let's move on. Err... Flurrie, why won't you part with your necklace?
Flurrie: How dare you ask me such a-
Count Blacula: RANDOM DISTRACTION!
Rigel: And who's that moron?
Dark Koopa: Usually it's done when I talk, Kody's Author. Like thi-
Count Blacula: RANDOM DISTRACTION!
Dark Koopa: -s. Are we through here?
Rigel: No, we still have audience questions to do.
Dark Koopa: Rats.
Rigel: Seat WEALLHATEYOU.
Bowser Jr: How do you do that nasty HP-sucking kiss?
Flurrie: Hrmph! Someone more flattering ask the same question.
Bowser Jr: I hate you!
Bogmire: How do you do that kiss?
Flurrie: ... It's called Lip Lock, and I drain some of the spirit of my opponent through my lips using a deep breath.
Dark Koopa: Seat IDIOT.
Lord Crump: Why do I always get a seat that's insulting in some way?
Rigel: Because you're stupid. Now ask a question.
Lord Crump: Grr... Why was that loser Doopliss acting alongside you in the ending?
Flurrie: He is no loser, he has a great knack for being an actor! He performed beautifully in “Paper Mario”.
Dark Koopa: That game already came out.
Flurrie: ...
Rigel: Whew, no fourth wall. Anyway seat THIRDPARTYCHARACTER.
Sonic: What's with the Dodgy Fog? I thought you were a wind spirit, not a condensation spirit.
Flurrie: If I move fast enough (which I can), I can create a fog cloud that enshrouds my ally. I don't necessarily have to have any moisture around to make a cloud.
Dark Koopa: That must be hard to do... Anyway, last question. Seat TOASTY.
Fry Guy: How can you body slam opponents if you're basically a cloud?
Flurrie: You may not know it, but clouds are heavy.
Dark Koopa: Why am I being forced to do that old "Seat describes the person in it in some way" gag?
Rigel: You're not.
Dark Koopa: Then I will do the number thing.
Thumbs: That's not exactly original either.
Dark Koopa: Fine. We'll try this... Seat B4.
Iggy: You sunk my battleship!
Dark Koopa: Ugh... Um, N26?
Boo Jangles: Bingo!
Dark Koopa: You know what? Forget it. End this.
Rigel: Wait, no violence?
Dark Koopa: No.
Later...
Mr. L: Hey guys, the Green Thunder is back, with a gallon of milk.
Pura: Die!
(Pura and Mr. L get in a cartoony cloud fight.)
Dark Koopa: Happy?
Thumbs: No.
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