Phil: Hello to all! Now, our Koopa Kountdown drops to 4, as we now have with us... Wendy.
Wendy: Yay! You're welcome for me gracing you with my appearance.
Phil: ... Sure.
(Wendy walks in and sits down.)
Phil: First question, what does the O stand for?
Wendy: It stands for OMG Like Whatever.
Phil: Nice to meet you, Wendy OMG Like Whatever Koopa.
Wendy: I didn't choose it! I thought I was texting my friend, but it turns out I was texting the doctor what my name would be!
Phil: Wait, so Koopas are that smart and social even at birth?
Wendy: Well, me. Cool is something you're born with.
Phil: Right... What's with all the tantrums?
Wendy: What tantrums?
Phil: You throw fits all-
Wendy: I DON'T HAVE TANTRUMS! YAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!
Phil: Calm down! Now, W-
Unseeable Audience Member: Boo!
Phil: What's-
Unseeable Audience Member: Boo!
Phil: Enough! What's with the candy rings?
Wendy: I AM NOT DONE!
Phil: Answer it or the phone goes!
Wendy: Okay okay! I had candy rings left over in my purse!
Phil: (to himself) She says a couple, I'm not surprised.
Wendy: What?
Phil: Oh nothing. Why did you choose Water Land?
Wendy: The cell phone service there was amazing! Free wifi, and bars everywhere!
Phil: Why did you choose Chocolate Island?
Wendy: Beca-
Unseeable Audience Member: Because she's fat.
Wendy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Phil: Stop!
Wendy: Why? Why does he have to be here? Why can't you just check the tickets, and see who came the last 5 times? Why?
Phil: Answer the question!
Wendy: Bu-
Phil: ANSWER IT!
Wendy: *sigh* Because, it was surrounded by water, and I used to be friends with a dolphin.
Phil: Give us a little backstory on that.
Wendy: Before Bowser was evil, we were allowed to visit wherever we wanted, because the other kingdoms accepted us warmly. Tgat is when I met said dolphin.
Phil: Well, we at the interview station have a big surprise for you!
Wendy: Y-yes?
Phil: Now, you would love if you could meet this dolphin, right?
Wendy: Yes!
Phil: It took us a whole month of searching...
Wendy: Ah! Deep breaths, deep breaths...
Phil: But... I exhausted all my contacts and found her. Bring her in!
Wendy: Ohh-Ohh-Ohh... I missed you! Sandy!
Wendy walks up to the stage, and finds no dolphin, but instead finds a Pokey.
Wendy: Pokey?!
Pokey: Hi.
Phil: It's amazing, how wonderful it is when two people reunite.
Wendy: What about my dolphin? You asked me if I would love to meet my dolphin!
Phil: I was keeping up a conversation.
Wendy: And you called the Pokey "her"!
Pokey: Yeah.
Phil: Well, Pokeys are both genders! I at least thought you would appreciate this!
Wendy: Well I don't.
Pokey: Hey.
Phil: Well we gotta get to the callers. Caller Number 6, you're on the air!
Caller Number 6: Why did you have the same attack pattern as Lemmy in Super Mario World?
Pokey: Yeah.
Wendy: Because, I just love to look at myself, and those dolls looked a lot like me.
Phil: Caller Number 12, you're on the air.
Caller Number 12: This is Gloomtail, foolish mortals. How do you explain the ring colors changing from Super Mario Bros. 3 to New Super Mario Bros. Wii?
Pokey: Yeah.
Wendy: There was a time lapse between the two, and all my rings went stale, and Daddy wouldn't buy me any new ones! Wahhh!!!
Bowser: You brat! I buy you everything!
Phil: Caller Number 4, you're on the air!
Caller Number 4: H-Hey, I'm on! Wah, this is Waluigi!
Phil: ASK A QUESTION.
Caller Number 4: Ok, uh, did Kamek flooding the room help any in New Super Mario Bros. Wii?
Pokey: Yeah.
Phil: Ok, your presence is no longer needed.
Phil boots the Pokey out of the room.
Wendy: No! 9 times out of 10, he brought a Fire Flower with him, and somehow fire works underwater, meaning I was a sitting duck!
Kamek: Well excuse me.
Phil: Now it's time for the performing section of our show! Wendy, you must get up there and perform for the audience. If they like you, you can leave, but if they don't, you will be eaten by...
"It": RAAAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Phil: -by "It", an unholy beast from the depths of your nightmares.
Wendy: Oh Jeez...
Wendy gets on stage and sings to the crowd.
Wendy: TWInkle TWINKLE little STAR HOW I wonDER WHat YOU ARE YAGGGHHHH!!!
Audience: Booo...
Wendy: Wait, I can do better!
Phil: Too late.
"It" gobbles up Wendy in one bite.
Phil: Next week we have Morton.
Phil vanishes before your very eyes.
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