Iggy: Hello, and welcome to- Hey, Lemmy's not here. I'll have to teleport him.
(Iggy presses a button on the wall. Lemmy appears.)
Lemmy: Not now, Iggy, I'm updating my page.
One long update later...
Iggy: Now then, hello and welcome to-
Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!
Iggy: Now, everyone, put on those translator helmets that are by your seats, because we are going to interview Bonetail. Yes, Ludwig, I already patented them.
Ludwig: Phooey.
Roy: I'm not taking orders from my wimpy brother!
Bonetail: Arooooooooooooo!
Roy: Eep! On second thought, I am!
Bonetail: You picked the wrong dragon to interview. Now that I'm free, I will destroy buildings! I will kill thousands! I will start a reign of terror! I will-
(Axem Green hits Bonetail with Static E.)
Bonetail: BLAGIDABLAGIDABLAGIDAAG! I will pay closer attention to the green one with the axe.
Green: We don't want very long strings of conversation. Either have the author make a cut scene, or do nothing.
Author: I'm too lazy to make a cut scene.
Green: Okay. Just no long strings of conversation.
Iggy: Okay, Bonetail, how are you made out of bone?
Bonetail: Well, I used to be an ordinary dragon. I destroyed buildings! I killed thousands! I- BLAGIDABLAGIDABLAGIDAAG! I said too much again, didn't I?
Green: Just save the author some typing, will you?
Author: Don't worry. I can copy and paste.
Green: Still, that also takes typing.
Bonetail: Anyway, four heroes defeated me as an ordinary dragon. The Shadow Queen then revived my bones.
Iggy: Why were you put in the Pit of 100 Trials in Rogueport?
Bonetail: Well, even as bone, I was pretty dangerous. I destroyed buildings! I killed thousands! I- BLAGIDABLAGIDABLAGIDAAG! I think the author's doing this on purpose.
Green: This is getting repetitive. Hey! Author! Think of something else!
Author: No. I'm too lazy.
Green: I want originality!
Author: Then try Dark Koopa's interviews.
Green: I mean it!
(A lightning rod is glued to Roy's head.)
Roy: BLAGIDABLAGIDABLAGIDAAG!
Author: Phew! That was some fast typing!
Bonetail: Anyway, I was so dangerous that the four heroes tossed me into a deep pit, where they kept Rogueport's greatest treasure.
Iggy: How can you breathe poison if you're just bone?
Bonetail: The Shadow Queen put that into the spell.
Iggy: Why can you only howl?
Bonetail: The Shadow Queen wanted her dragons to be able to communicate and to be as threatening as possible, so she gave my siblings and my those howls. However, she found it would be more intimidating if we could speak, but by that time I was already in the pit.
Iggy: What do you do down there in the pit?
Bonetail: I learned a code out of taps on the ceiling, and talked with the Elite Wizzerd on the floor above me in code.
Elite Wizzerd: Thanks for telling me that story about the jester writing the prophecy.
Dimentio: Not jester! Magician!
(Dimentio tries to kill the Elite Wizzerd, but Bonetail crushes him.)
Dimentio: Ouch.
Iggy: How did you survive down in the pit?
Bonetail: I'm a skeleton. We don't need to eat.
Iggy: Why didn't you try to escape from the pit?
Bonetail: It's 100 floors of solid rock, each as tall as me. Also, I'm hopeless at digging. My feet are for stomping.
Iggy: Well, that's it. Green, I'll let you keep your helmet if you hit Roy with Static E.
Green: I'll do more than that.
(Green hits Roy with Static H.)
Roy: BLAGIDABLAGIDABLAGIDAAG! End Transmission!
Larry: Good thing I brought my video camera.
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