PlayStop

KERRY interviews LUDWIG
 
By Kerry Koopa
(The scene starts at the Lemmy’s Land Update Center, aka the place where Lemmy does all of his updates, not to mention just hang out with tourists like Kerry.)

(Kerry is busy typing away at the computer.)Ludwig: Kerrin!

Kerry: Yes, what is it? And don’t call me that.

Ludwig: Have you got an idea yet?!

Kerry: I’ve thought for days since I became a tourist, but still, none.

Lemmy: I’m just dying to have a submission from you, my friend!

Kerry: I’ll never let you down. We have been friends since Koopergarten, after all.

Lemmy: I’ll never let you down, either, Kerry.

Kerry: Anyway, Ludwig, why do you call me by my real name, Kerrin, instead of Kerry, which I go by and like more?

Ludwig: Well...because I once met a Koopa named Karrin in school and became very fond of her, and Kerrin is closer to Karrin.

Lemmy: Hey, you guys! We just started an interview!

(Kerry’s eyes light up.)

Kerry: An interview? Oh, boy! I could record it, and you could post it!

Lemmy: Okay, let’s go!

Kerry: Go where?

Lemmy: I just had a new auditorium built so my tourists could have interviews there.

Kerry: I thought we were going to do it here.

(Lemmy starts to laugh at Kerry’s joke while Ludwig rolls his eyes.)

Kerry: Let’s go already, okay?

Ludwig: I agree, Kerri—

Kerry: DON’T CALL ME KERRIN!

(Kerry chases Ludwig around the room while Lemmy cracks up at the scene.)

Ludwig: (out of breath) This is taking too long.

Lemmy: I’ll lead you to where it is.

(Kerry and Lemmy are about one step away from the door when…)

Ludwig: (while wheeling something with a cloth over it) I need to bring this there, so wait up, Kerrin—

(A jar of pickles lands on Ludwig’s head and he is knocked out.)

Lemmy: Kerry, come on!

(Lemmy and Kerry walk out the door while Kerry drags Ludwig and Lemmy pushes the thing that Ludwig was holding earlier.)

Lemmy: Kerry, you don’t have to be so dramatic over people calling you Kerrin.

Kerry: I…know.

Lemmy: But it was funny! And you know how I like funny stuff.

At the auditorium…

Lemmy: There’s a hose backstage? I never knew.

Kerry: But you never know when it will be useful!

(Kerry fills a nearby bucket and dumps it on Ludwig.)

Ludwig: (waking up) Kerry, you don’t have to be so dramatic over—

Kerry: I know. And FINALLY you called me Kerry!

Lemmy: I need to announce this interview over the LL speaker system.

Kerry: Now I know how you call an audience over to watch an interview.

Ten minutes later…

Lemmy: (after looking behind the curtains) An audience is coming. Let’s go onstage!

Onstage…

Lemmy: Welcome to…

Audience: Lemmy’s Interview Show!

Lemmy: Yes! And now, today’s interview will be starring…the tourist, Kerry Koopa, as the interviewer, and the well-known inventor Koopaling, Ludwig, as the interviewee!

Kerry: Now Ludwig, would you prefer to stand or sit down?

Ludwig: Stand. I am used to standing while I am experimenting in my lab.

Kerry: Okay, first question. How do you set up your lab in your room?

Ludwig: Uh...Didn’t you do the first question in the Update Center already?

Kerry: I guess you have a point.

Ludwig: Well, to answer your question, my room is mostly my lab.

Kerry: But where do you sleep?

Ludwig: Unlike a regular, simple bed, like the other Koopalings have, I built an electric bed for myself.

Kerry: Why would that be necessary?

Ludwig: Although I have the biggest room, most of it is lab area. That means I have to hide my valuables in my bed. When Mario comes and tries to pinch some, he’ll get the shock of his life.

(Mario screams.)

Lemmy: Mario, you know the rules.

Mario: No I don’t.

Lemmy: The audience is not allowed to talk until audience question time.

Mario: But I-a wasn’t talking!

Lemmy: Rules are rules.

Kerry: But how do you avoid getting shocked yourself, Ludwig?

Ludwig: I always keep the remote control with me. When I go to bed, the latest of all the Koopalings because I spend a lot of time inventing, I take the remote control out and press a button. The electric field stops.

Kerry: What if you lose the remote control?

Ludwig: I installed a control panel on my bed. I could use that if I lost the remote control.

Kerry: Couldn’t Mario just disable the electric field that way?

Ludwig: Nah, it’s pretty complicated. He has to enter the password.

Kerry: Can’t one of your siblings take your valuables when you’re sleeping at night?

Ludwig: JEEZ, you ask too many questions! I’ll explain everything in one go. I put an electric field in my doorway. When I enter my room for the last time of the day, I activate a panel on my wall, and this activates the electric field. When I get out of bed, I activate the electric field around it. After working a little on my current invention, I deactivate the electric field in the doorway and walk out to breakfast.

Kerry: Okay, I’ve learned enough. Second question: How do the Koopalings choose their rooms?

Ludwig: When they are born, they sleep in Bowser and Clawdia’s room. When they are an Earth month old and are ready to sleep by themselves, they take a tour of the rooms and select the one they want. As I was a natural-born scientist, I immediately wanted the biggest room so I could keep all my inventions in there.

Kerry: All right. Third question: Do you spend a lot of time working on your inventions?

Ludwig: Of course! I work on my inventions so much that I even try to work on them while in the dungeon! I even use them to help Bowser. I built the Doomships and many other tools.

Kerry: So you invented the Minimizer and the Megamorph Belt in Mario Party DS?

Ludwig: You got it!

Kerry: And Megaleg in Super Mario Galaxy?

Ludwig: Right again!

Kerry: And the Koopa Cruiser in Superstar Saga?

Ludwig: Since the Koopa Cruiser also appeared in Partners in Time, it concludes that I didn’t invent it. However, I built a new one after the old one got destroyed years ago.

Kerry: Okay! Time for audience—

Ludwig: Wait! I want to show the audience one of my inventions!

Kerry: So that was the thing covered with cloth that you had before.

Ludwig: Right.

Kerry: Sure, you can show it! But what should we call this moment?

Ludwig: Uh, how about Ludwig’s Invention Showing?

Kerry: Great!

Ludwig: Here—

(Ludwig pulls the cloth off the invention.)

Ludwig: —is the Lucky Fortune Roulette Wheel!

(The audience oohs.)

Ludwig: This wheel took me a lot of time to make. It is unpredictable! Spin the wheel as shown…

(Ludwig spins the wheel.)

Ludwig: …and lift the flap here!

(Ludwig lifts the flap on the section the pointer stopped on.)

Ludwig: It says: a wedding cake! Now, open the compartment right here…

(Ludwig opens the compartment close to the bottom of the wheel.)

Ludwig: See, a wedding cake comes out! Now who wants it?

Morton: ME!

(Ludwig tosses the wedding cake to Morton and it smashes on his face.)

Ludwig: This incredible invention took ages to build! I can’t exactly explain why it works, but it is great for prizegivings at events! Thank you for listening to my presentation.

Kerry: And now, audience questions! Seat EGAD!

E. Gadd: The Adventures of Super Mario Bros. 3 bio states that you only eat candy and fried food. I also know that you like chocolate and lox. I know chocolate is candy, but do you like fried lox?

Ludwig: Of course! Lox is lox, even when fried!

Kerry: Seat CARRIERPIGEON!

Birdley: FYI! FYI! FYI!

Ludwig: For your information WHAT?

Kerry: Seat YOOPA!

Karma: What do you get if you cross Birdley with a Piranha Plant?

Ludwig: Hmmm…a freak monster?

Karma: No, a bird that FYI’s your ear off!

Ludwig: Hahaha! That’s a good one!

Kerry: Seat CHEDDAR!

Mario: Can-a you invent-a cheese that’s-a absolutely delicious!

Ludwig: I’ll try. (whispering to Kerry) And use it as bait to catch Mario.

Kerry: Seat FROG!

Wart: Can you help me become the ruler of Sub-con?

Ludwig: NO! I’m on Bowser’s side.

Bowser: Shame on you, Brother. BWAHAHAHAHA!

Lemmy: Okay, end—

Kerry: Wait! I think Ludwig deserves a prize for being the lucky interviewee!

(Kerry runs backstage and rolls in the Lucky Fortune Roulette Wheel.

Kerry: Mind if I use this?

Ludwig: Nope. It’s all yours, my friend.

Kerry: Okay, spin the wheel!

(Ludwig spins the wheel.)

Kerry: It says: a housecleaning robot building kit!

Ludwig: (after retrieving the prize) Thanks. Bowser will be so happy with this. He has trouble keeping the castle clean!

Lemmy: This is the end of today’s Interview Show! Now, end transmission!

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