G.G: Don’t care.Lemmy: But-
Koopa 13: But nothing.Lemmy: I-
Chompy: NO!!!Lemmy: Come on, don’t you guys want to hear my new scheme for making you all my obedient slaves?
G.G: Why would we want to hear something like that? Besides, it's not going to work, we’re rebels, don’t you know?
Lemmy: We’ll just see about that. Take a listen to this.
(The New Super Mario Bros. Wii overworld theme can be heard over the intercom.)
G.G: Um, I don’t get how-
(Suddenly, when it gets to the part where the song goes "BAH BAH", G.G. and his gang do a small dance jig along with the song.)
G.G: What the?
Koopa 13: Hey! What in the world is making my body dance?
Chompy: GAH!!
Lemmy: Hahaha, Like it? No baddie alive can resist dancing to this jaunty tune.
G.G: I'll get you for this Le-
(BAH BAH!)
G.G: Can't-
Koopa 13: Stop it!
Lemmy: Bwa ha ha ha ha. Now you’re mine!
G.G: You'll pay for-
(BAH BAH!)
Lemmy: Ha ha. Now then, for today's Interview you will be interviewing my bro, Larry.
G.G: How are we supposed to-
(BAH BAH!)
G.G: -interview when we-
(BAH BAH!)
G.G: -can't stop dancing?!
Lemmy: That’s the best part, by being unable to resist this tune you shall obey all of my rules without hesitation or complaint. It's the perfect plan.
Bowser: Grah ha ha ha ha! What an evil plan, worthy of my awesomeness.
Dimentio: And mine!
Lemmy: You’re not awesome, you just have a large fanbase.
Dimentio: Exactly my point.
Koopa 13: … Well at least we have nobody laughing at us.
Croco: HA HA!
G.G: You were saying?
Koopa 13: … Ah just forget it, bring out that Larry, I'd like to see how he compares to a childish Koopa they call a big brother.
Larry: Hyeh hyeh hyeh.
G.G: I hate you already.
Larry: I am the master of eavesdropping!
Koopa 13: Yeah, whatever, we don't-
(BAH BAH!)
Koopa 13:-care, now take a seat now!
(BAH BAH!)
Larry: I see you put them under your spell, Lemmy; well done, Bro.
G.G: Don’t make him feel-
(BAH BAH!)
G.G: -good about it.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: Ah yes, right, let’s get started. Larry, is it true you're the weakest of the Koopalings?
Larry: WHAT? NO! I'm one of King Dad's best.
G.G: Then how come you’re always the first boss?
Larry: Not always, I was the last Koopaling to fight in Super Mario World and Superstar Saga
Koopa 13: Yet you’re little wand gives you less ability than your-
(BAH BAH!)
Koopa 13: -other siblings. Also I never ever see any big improvements in your battle skills, they all seem standard to me.
Larry: That's because I don’t really like working my butt off trying to find a new technique to use against Mario, I like it plain and simple.
Chompy: Bark bark.
G.G: He says that’s why you always-
(BAH BAH!)
G.G: -lose.
Larry: Hey, I don't remember asking you how to tell me to do things. At least I’m not so weak that I can’t even resist dancing to some jaunty tune.
Lemmy: Pwned
Koopa 13: Really funny. Now then, is it actually true that you are Lord Bow... I mean, Bowser's favorite Koopaling?
Larry: Indeed I am. Or rather I was until Bowser Jr. showed up.
Chompy: Bark bark
G.G: He says, is that why-
(BAH BAH!)
G.G: -you are always the first and the last Koopaling to fight?
Larry: Yup, King Dad always thought I deserved the top spot on the Koopaling roster, so he would always give me the best castle and world.
G.G: What about now?
Larry: Like I said, since Bowser Jr. showed up King Dad always gives him everything- good castle, ships; he even made him the next heir to the throne. THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME!!!
Bowser Jr: Bah, quit your whining and bring me a yaco.
Larry: *sigh* Yes sir.
One taco later...
Koopa 13: Wow, at least we are not the only ones being ordered to do something lame such as an Interview.
Larry: I think this is even worse.
Koopa 13: Worse? Your brother reduced us to-
(BAH BAH!)
Koopa 13: -mere slaves since we started working here!
Larry: I have to always get my shell handed to Mario, leaving me all bruised up!
Koopa 13: Tsk tsk, we have had enough pain and suffering from our job!
Larry: Even worse, at my castle that brute Roy batters me up all the time!
Koopa 13: AT LEAST YOU HAVE A HOME! WE DON'T!
Larry: DOESN'T MEAN I GOTTA LIKE IT!
(The two continue to shout at each other.)
Koopatrol: THIS IS MADNESS!
G.G: THIS IS-
(BAH BAH!)
G.G: Whoops, forgot what I was gonna say.
Roy: AH, SHADDUP EVERYONE!!!
(Roy tosses a bomb at the stage, setting off an explosion.)
G.G: *cough, cough* I think that got the point across.
Koopa 13: *cough, cough* I could have thought of a more convenient way to have ended this. Now where were we?
Chompy: Bark bark?
G.G: He says, why are you Bowser’s favorite, or rather why WERE you his favorite?
Larry: Well, since I am the youngest of the Koopalings, I was naturally King Dad's favorite since most parents favor the baby of the family.
G.G: Hence Bowser Jr. becoming more popular with him than you.
Larry: Yes.
G.G: So is it true that you have a freakish obsession with sports games?
Larry: Oh yes, I love sports. It's a pity that they never include me in any sports games.
G.G: That’s because you fail.
Larry: Do not.
Koopa 13: Now that I am looking at you, why do you have two visible fangs out of your mouth instead of the usual four this time?
(BAH BAH!)
Koopa 13: Phew, close one.
Larry: Well I had to have them removed for the New Super Mario Bros. Wii game, plus the two fangs are more ferocious-looking then four.
G.G: It's not like you ever-
(BAH BAH!)
G.G: -use them anyway.
Larry: Speak for yourself.
G.G: Hey, I use my fangs...
Larry: …
G.G: Sometimes…
Larry: ...
G.G: ..… Never.
Larry: That’s what I thought.
Chompy: Bark Bark?
G.G: He says-
BAH... BAH... BAAAAAAH!
G.G: Seriously, Lemmy, can’t you turn that stupid thing off?
Lemmy: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Koopa 13: Uhhh, can anyone else turn it off?
G.G: Allow me.
(G.G. goes into the control booth, where he destroys the sound control system.)
G.G: There we go. Let us continue.
Koopa 13: What is with the other name, Cheatsy? Is it your nickname or what?
Larry: That's only a name I took on in the Mario Bros. cartoon show. The creator dudes from DIC had to give me a different name for some reason I don’t even know about to this day.
G.G: What kind of a name is Cheatsy?
Larry: I dunno, I guess they wanted a name that best reflects my personality.
G.G: What personality? You’re the most bland and uninteresting of all the Koopalings.
Larry: If that’s true then why was I his favorite, huh?
Bowser Jr: The key word in that sentence is "WAS".
G.G: Exactly, you were probably just being used until you were outdated.
Larry: Lies, King Dad would never-
Bowser: Nope, that sounds about right.
Larry: KING DAD?!
Bowser: What? Younglings are easier to use, now stop complaining and bring another taco for Junior and I.
Larry: …
Another taco later...
Chompy: Bark bark?
G.G: He says, is it true that you are quite sneaky and devious?
Larry: Indeed, like I said before I am the master of eavesdropping, another reason why I was King Dad's favorite.
G.G: Are you still prattling on about that?
Larry: Of course. King Dad always used to buy me tacos, but now...
Bowser: Ahh, these tacos are great, aren't they Junior?
Bowser Jr: They sure are, Papa.
Mario: Want ketchup with that?
G.G: Rightyo, then let’s go to the audience. Seat 65.
Bob-omb: Why do you look so funny in the Mario Bros. cartoon?
Larry: They wanted to change my look for the show so that I didn't resemble the game too much. DIC pretty much did their own thing with that show.
Koopa 13: Seat 79, ask a question.
Blooper: Why is it you often appear as the first or last Koopaling to fight?
Larry: Well since I was the favorite, King Dad thought it would be best if I came first or last depending on the game.
G.G: What about you, seat 10?
Pianta: What would you say your finest qualities are?
Larry: Well, besides being the master of eavesdropping, I am quite the sports player, troublemaker, and ladies man.
G.G: Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that.
Larry: Hey, I am!
G.G: Yes, denial is always the first stage.
Larry: Who asked you?!
Koopa 13: Pfff. Seat... Uh, what is that seat number that I am pointing at over there?
Audience: 101!
Bulky Bob-omb: Couldn't you see it?!
Koopa 13: Not if you were taking, like, two or three seats, but anyway... What is your question?
Bulky Bob-omb: Do you admire things that have to do with horror or darkness?
Larry: Indeed I do, I have my own horror-themed game called Larry Koopa: Zombie Heartbreaker, and-
Koopa 13: Get real! That is just a fictional game from Super Paper Mario.
Larry: … I even wanted my hotel in Hotel Mario to be very dark and scary.
Mario: Nice for Lemmy to invite us over to an Interview show, eh Luigi?
Luigi: I hope he ma-
G.G: Don’t you DARE start spouting that nonsense in my studio!
Lemmy: Actually it's my studio.
G.G: Oh, you’re awake, are you?
Lemmy: What happened to the music?
G.G: I destroyed it. So much for your evil plan.
Lemmy: Oh. Well I guess I will just have to sing the song, then.
G.G: Oh yeah, like that's going to-
(BAH BAH!)
G.G: Oh come on!
Koopa 13: Seriously, why does bad luck have to always happen to us these days?
G.G: Ok, let’s wrap this up before-
Lemmy: BAH BAH!!!
G.G: -I go crazy. So Larry, any parting words?
Larry: My life is a joke.
G.G: Well said, Larry. END TRANSMISSION!!!
Lemmy: This Interview is brought to you by New Super Mario Bros. Wii. If you haven't played it yet then you won’t get the reference we’re making, SO GO PLAY IT!!!
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