Lemmy: Umm... What are you doing?
(Johnson stops beating Spak, who is tied up and dangling upside-down.)
John: What does it look like I’m doing? I’m bashing this Squig with a baseball bat.
Lemmy: Why?
John: Because he seems more like a pinata when I use my bat instead of my hammer.
Lemmy: No no, why are you beating him up at all?
Spak: HELP ME!
John: (ignoring Spak) Uh... I don't know; why are you here?
Lemmy: (also ignoring Spak) I'm here because I've received many complaints about your Interview.
John: Which one?
Lemmy: The one that is supposed to be going on right now.
(John then notices the audience is silently and angrily staring at him.)
John: (idiot moment) Duuuuuuu... What?
Lemmy: Didn't this Interview start six hours ago?
(John stares blankly for a few seconds.)
John: @%&$!
(He runs off-screen, comes back, unties Spak, and gives him a paper.)
Spak: What’s this?
John: (while setting up the Interview equipment) Sign it!
Spak: Why?
John: JUST SIGN IT!
(Spak signs it.)
John: Great, now you are my pet, slave, minion, etc.
Spak: ...
John: Are you ok with that?
Spak: Oh, I don't think it’s much of a big deal. Those five Muths that trampled me every five minutes yesterday made me realize how much my life stinks anyway.
John: Hey, here come some more.
(20 Muths charge at Spak.)
Spak: GAH!!!
(Spak runs for dear life from the Muths.)
John: Now who to interview?
(He looks in the audience, trying to find an interviewee, and notices a Boomboxer listening to his music.)
John: Ooo, this will do. Hey, you in there!
(He gets no response.)
John: You with the radio head!
(He still gets no response.)
John: *with a megaphone* GET OVER HERE, BOOMBOXER!!!
Goomba: GAH!
Bob-omb: AHH!
Morton: WEDDING CAKE!!!
(Still and again, he gets no response.)
John: Hmm... I got it!
(Two seconds later…)
(The interviewing stage is filled with amplifiers all connected into a microphone on the setting "Say goodbye to your eardrums", with Johnson holding the megaphone to the microphone on the same setting.)
John: *inhales* WE-
(NUCLEAR EXPLOSION!!!) (John's entire studio is destroyed by the explosion that occurred.) John (covered in soot): Well if that didn't alert the Boomboxer then I- (John then notices that the Boomboxer is completely unfazed by the explosion. John begins twitching.) Spak: AHH!!! (Spak falls from the sky and lands on the Boomboxer.) Boomboxer: Hey man! What you be doing bumping into people whiles theys be listening to their music? Spak: You’re right, sorry, my mistake, I had no idea you were there when I nearly fell to my death… Boomboxer: Yeah, you better be sorry for dat, little dude. John: Thanks for your help, Spak. Spak: Ngg.. John: Anyway, Mr. Nobody, you have been chosen for my Interview, what do you think about that? Boomboxer: Fine, got notin’ better to do. John: Ok, just step on the stage. Spak: We have no stage. John: Just stay where you are. (The Boomboxer sits in his completely not blown up chair as John grabs Spak and sits on him.) Spak: Get off of me! John: Shut up, you; now, first question, what game are you from, and what do you do? Boomboxer: I’m from Super Paper Mario, I just walk around listening to my music and minding my own business, and blast waves out at people who try to mess up my mojo. John: So how do you make those soundwaves? Spak: Get off of me! (John hammers Spak to shut him up.) Boomboxer: We have a button on our heads that can turn our music into focused soundwaves of death. John: So are they too loud for you? Boomboxer: No way! John: So why do your eyes widen? Boomboxer: When we push that button, we fall into a short trance in place of hearing our awesome music. John: Fascinating, so what about the ones in space and Castle Bleck? Boomboxer: Those luck dogs have better music, man. The music is real important-like to us. Without it, we'd just be walkin’ metal heads without souls. (The Boomboxer puts his head down and cries a little.) Boomboxer: Poor Jimmy *sniff*, that son-of-a-gun never was the same since he lost his music. John: Hey! This is an interview studio, not a crying club. Spak: What interview studio? You blew it up. John: Yeah yeah yeah. So why did you join Count Bleck? Boomboxer: Like I siad before, we don't take sides, Mario just keeps messing up our mojo. John: Ok, I think it’s time for the audience. Spak: You blew them up too. John: You know what? I’M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR INTERRUPTING! (John grabs a chainsaw out of nowhere and starts it up.) Spak: Meep. (End transmission) Whoops! You're not logged in!
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