(You can see some kind of title card.)
P.T.’s voice: Nice of the Koopalings to invite you to this Interview, eh tourist?
(P.T. wakes up in some weird setting.)
P.T.: I don’t remember my studio looking like this…
Mii T.: We’re not in the studio.
Bogmire: I think we’re inside a Koopa Troopa of some sort.
P.T.: Hmm, we should ask about who we’re in. Hey! You! Who’s Trash Pit are we in?
(A nearby person looks up from a book they are reading.)
That Guy with the Glasses: Oh. Bahn. Didn’t hear you come in. Greetings, and welcome to Ask That Guy with the Glasses.
Bogmire: Well, do you know or not? Who are we in?
That Guy with the Glasses: That’s a very good question. You’re inside of Skye Paratroopa’s Trash Pit. Now you may be asking yourself, “how did Skye get the ability to inhale people?”. Well it’s quite simple. She ate a Vacuum Mushroom. Where did she get one, you ask? Go jump in a hole… slowly. Yes.
Mii T.: Excuse me?!
That Guy with the Glasses: This is That Guy with the Glasses saying, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it.”
(He winks at the three and goes back to pretending to read a large dictionary.)
P.T.: … That’s a little weird even for me. Let’s go find the others…
(Meanwhile, Bill and Lemmy are in Skye’s Memory Banks.)
Bill: How’d we get here?
Lemmy: I think-
(A blue blob gets away from the large TV in the center of the room and forms into blocky, robotic copies of the Mario Bros.)
Bill: Who are you guys?!
Mario copy: I AM BOWSER MEMORY M.
Luigi copy: I AM BOWSER MEMORY L.
PC: And I’m a PC.
Lemmy: Can you speak in more lowercase? It’ll get hard for the author.
M: Agreed.
L: Agreed.
Bill: … So what’s going on?
Lemmy: As I was saying, it looks like Skye knocked us all out and we’re inside her for some reason.
M: Affirmative. She wishes to allow her Biffidi to destroy you. Every Koopa body has those.
Lemmy: Well they’re not doing a good job.
L: They are on break.
Bill: All this for being fired…
Lemmy: Well, we’re just gonna look for a way out…
M: First you must interview us.
Lemmy: Bill, you do it.
Bill: I don’t want to!
(Lemmy gives Bill some money.)
Bill: But who am I to deny them their wish? But why do you want to be interviewed?
L: I am lonely. These girls keep wanting to see some other guy that goes by my name, but when they see me they only hit me.
M: And I am bored.
Bill: Okay, I guess…
(And so…)
Bill: First off, why are Bowser’s memories in Skye’s mind?
M: She did the Men in Black thing to Bowser where she wiped his memories. He saw her takeover one of his older castles and got jealous, so she made him forget. Us winding up in here were a byproduct of that.
Bill: Now for the real questions… What are you guys?
L: We are-
Bill: Please insert coin to continue.
(Bill’s holding out his hand. Lemmy smacks it with his wand.)
Bill: Ow! I thought you had to give that back to the Ice Land king!
Lemmy: It’s my new one from New Super Mario Bros. Wii!
L: We are a security system so no one can read Bowser’s mind so he can always have an advantage. As you can see, no one really cares to read his mind.
Bill: How were you put in Bowser’s mind?
L: One of Kamek’s spells.
Bill: And why do you look and act like the Mario Bros?
M: We take the form of whomever is invading Bowser’s mind or anything else he remembers in order to defeat them with their own moves. This is why our blob form, our true form we both fragmented off of, scanned the intruders.
Bill: Memory L, why do you run away?
L: Strategic retreat. I needed to observe the intruders’ fighting style so I could apply it against them for later battles. Obviously I could not observe if they were fighting me.
Bill: … Why are you running from a Boo as one attack?
L: I attacked that way to try to scare off the green invader.
Bill: It didn’t work.
L: I know…
Bill: M, why do you never see that Koopa Troopa memory coming?
M: I allow it to shrink me.
Bill: … Why?
M: Bec-
Bill: Please insert coin to continue.
(Lemmy pulls off Bill’s boney hand, and Bill uses his remaining hand to yank on Lemmy’s ponytail.)
Lemmy: YOW!
(Bill puts his hand back on.)
M: Because if I remained enlarged for extended periods of time, my form will become unstable and I will disappear.
Bill: Why is that?
M: Because our forms are only temporary, but we last longer when we’re smaller. If need be, we’d return to the blob form and change into something strong enough to kill them. No matter what, we have to return to blob form eventually.
Bill: Why didn’t you change into something powerful?
L: We like a challenge.
Bill: Aha… Wait, you said you were able to turn into the intruder Mario Bros. because you scanned them, right?
M: Right.
Bill: Then why wasn’t there a third one based off of Starlow?!
L: We were scanning for fighting potential. She had none, so we were all that was needed.
Bill: And when you were defeated, you both fused into a Peach form?
M: Yes.
Bill: So you guys are really just a transformation of a blue blob that has no gender.
L: Correct.
Bill: … And I thought Shrike was weird. M, why are you the only one that uses the Starman?
L: It is time you knew… We are the same entity, but with two different physical forms at once. M is one half of myself and I am the other.
Bill: Then why were you referring to yourselves as separate?
M: To avoid confusing you. But with all the questions you were asking, it became necessary to reveal this to you. In fact…
(They both change back into the blue blob form.)
Memory: Is that better?
Bill: I guess… So you two were both actually one person… So during that whole fight you were multitasking?
Memory: Correct.
Bill: … That’s just weird… I’m guessing you were also the Koopa and the Boo and any power-ups?
Memory: Yes.
Bill: Last question, why do the coins appear over and in front of the Mario Bros?
Memory: To help me focus on who to attack.
Bill: Okay… This was weird, we’re out.
Lemmy: Yeah, bye.
(P.T., Mii T., and Bogmire appear.)
Bogmire: So there you guys are!
Bill: Hey guys, did you get me any money?
Mii T.: No… Are we the only ones in here?
Memory: Yes. The rest are outside. There is no Pipe Yard, you have no way out.
Lemmy: But I have this!
(Lemmy uses his wand and warps the five of them out of Skye’s mind. Where do they turn up? Plack Beach!)
P.T.: Why are we here?
Lemmy: We’re gonna ask Chakron for help on how to stop Skye and get her out of King Dad’s older castle. The only one that fits the bill as an abandoned Bowser castle that’s still around is his Keep from Super Mario RPG.
Bogmire: Sounds good to me. I’ll go on ahead and see if any of the others are there… Bill, has that camera been filming us this whole time?
Bill: Yes. End Transmission!
(Transmission Ended.)
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