Wacky: Sorry, GIMB, but I’m ditching you for this Interview.
GIMB: What?! Why?
Wacky: Well, it’s because I need some time on my own.
GIMB: But, we said we’d always interview together!
Wacky: Here’s a tip: Don’t expect someone you met at an interview studio to keep a promise.
GIMB: But, who’s going to feed me when I’m hungry?
Wacky: All right, first off, you’re always hungry. Second, I don’t need to feed you. You’re perfectly capable of feeding yourself.
GIMB: Fine, but I’m taking Axem Green with me.
Axem Green: What if I don’t want to go with you?
GIMB: Tough Tastykakes!
(GIMB grabs Axem Green and walks out of the studio. Just before he leaves, he turns around, makes a sound resembling a horse whinny, and slams the door behind him.)
Wacky: Did he just say “Tough Tastykakes”?
Axem Black: Yeah, I think he did. I’m also at a loss for words with the whinny.
Wacky: You wanna do camera?
Black: Do I ever! This is great.
Wacky: Just get the camera ready!
Later...
Wacky: Hey everybody, are you happy you're here, because I am.
Random Audience Member: Freak!
(Wacky shoots him.)
Wacky: Anyway, I'll be interviewing everyone's favorite mailman, Parakarry.
(Parakarry walks, or flies, onstage with an orange-shelled Paratroopa next to him.)
Wacky: Who is this?
Parakarry: Oh, this is Kollin. He wants to do the Interview with you.
Kollin: Is that all right?
Wacky: Sure, I guess.
Kollin: Whoohoo! So, Parakarry, where's your favorite place to deliver mail to?
Parakarry: Mario's place. It's really fun to go there and tick him off, especially when I shout "MAIL CALL!" really obnoxiously.
Axem Black: Uh, Wacky?
Wacky: Yeah?
Axem Black: How do I start the camera?
Wacky: I have no idea. Just hit buttons randomly until something happens.
(Axem Black then pushes a large amount of buttons. Suddenly, the camera starts glowing and fires a gigantic laser beam into the crowd. It toasts about a third of the audience and creates a large hole in the ground.)
Wacky: Holy! What kind of camera does Axem Green operate?
Meanwhile, at a McGoomba’s...
Axem Green: I probably should’ve told them that the camera is also half laser cannon.
GIMB: Shut up and eat your meal!
(GIMB then grabs a burger and shoves it into Axem Green’s mouth.)
Back at the studio...
Wacky: Did you get the camera ready?
Axem Black: No. Plus, I’m too afraid to try anything again.
Wacky: All right then, you little wuss, use this then.
(Wacky then throws him a notepad and a pencil.)
Axem Black: What am I supposed to do with this?
Wacky: Since we’re not recording this on film, we’ll record it on paper.
Kollin: Anyway, does this annoy Luigi as much as it does Mario?
Parakarry: I don't really know; nobody really cares about Luigi.
Luigi: That hurt my feelings.
Wacky: No one cares! So, how and why did you become a mailman?
Parakarry: Every male member of my family has been a mailman since my great, great grandpa defected from the Koopa Klan. It’s just something I enjoy.
Kollin: Are you related to Koops or Kooper?
Parakarry: No, because I'm a Paratroopa and they're Koopa Troopas.
Wacky: I see.
In some alleyway...
Axem Green: GIMB, what are we doing here?
GIMB: We’re going to make Wacky look like a fool.
Axem Green: Don’t you mean you are?
GIMB: Did I stutter?
Axem Green: What are you doing back there anyway?
(During this whole time, GIMB is behind a dumpster. He then jumps out, in a horrible Wacky costume.)
Axem Green: Only an idiot would believe that you’re Wacky.
Roy (walking by): Hey, what’s up, Wacky and Axem Green?
GIMB: There’s your idiot.
Roy: Who’s an idiot?
GIMB: You are, according to Axem Green.
Roy: Why you little…
Axem Green: I hate you.
(Roy then tackles Axem Green and starts wailing on him.)
Back at the studio...
Wacky: What do you think of Mario?
Parakarry: I think he's okay. He’s so fun to annoy, but without him the Mushroom Kingdom would be run by Bowser and his minions.
Wacky: What's wrong with that?
Parakarry: He's evil!
Wacky: Eh, I don't think so.
Kollin: What do you do when there’s a package that’s too big to fly to where it’s supposed to go?
Parakarry: We get the Para-Mail truck
Wacky: Para-what?
Parakarry: Boys, get in here!
(A bunch of Paratroopas flying a mail truck with wings on it fly in.)
Everyone in studio: O.O
In the same alleyway...
(GIMB is still in the terrible Wacky disguise and Axem Green is now in an awful Iggy costume.)
Axem Green: I still don’t see the point of this.
GIMB: Shut up! Now, do an Iggy impersonation.
Axem Green: Okay. (in a very dorky voice) Hi, my name is Iggy Koopa!
GIMB: Perfect! Now, punch me.
Axem Green: What?
GIMB: You heard me, punch me!
Axem Green: What would that accomplish?
GIMB: We’re trying to make Wacky look like a wimp, so having Iggy beat him up is the perfect plan.
Axem Green: As much as I don’t want to put down your well thought out plan, I’m gonna have to say that that idea is terrible. Plus, I’m not going to punch you.
GIMB: I thought you’d say that, so I had a backup plan: go along with plan A and punch me, or get beat up by my lackeys.
Axem Green: What lackeys?
(GIMB then snaps his fingers. Roy and Kent C. Koopa appear from behind the dumpster and crack their knuckles. Axem Green starts to sweat profusely.)
Axem Green: Why are you working for him?
Kent C. Koopa: He paid me a hundred bucks.
Roy: I hate you!
Axem Green: All right then, brace yourself GIMB.
(Axem Green then punches GIMB in the chest. Although this is a very light punch, GIMB falls to the ground and carries on.)
GIMB: (in a very deep, eerie-sounding voice Oh, it hurts, it hurts! Iggy beat me up and I’m bleeding!
Axem Green: You’re not bleeding.
(GIMB then grabs a bucket of red paint and paints a huge blob on his chest.)
GIMB: I’m bleeding! I need medical attention!
Kent C. Koopa: Don’t worry, Boss.
Roy: We’ll get you to the hospital in no time.
(The two then pull out a stretcher made up of a broken ladder and a trash bag and put GIMB on it. They then pick it up and run out of the alley.)
Axem Green: Wow. That was pathetic.
Back at the studio...
Wacky: Time for audience questions!
Kollin: Seat 3!
Toadette: Do you live in Koopa Village or Petalburg?
Parakarry: Neither. I live in Paratroopaville, a town that's located just outside the Mushroom Kingdom.
Wacky: Okay, seat 95.
Hammer Bro: Have you ever had a girlfriend, and if you have, what was her name?
Parakarry: Yes. Her name is Paratrina and I plan on marrying her soon. ^_^
Audience: Awwwwwww!
Wacky: Remember to bring me some wedding cake.
Morton: Wedding cake?! Where?!
Kollin: Out the window.
(Morton then jumps out the window.)
Parakarry: Was there really wedding cake?
Kollin: No. I just wanted him gone. Seat 17!
Kooper: Why do you always wear that hat?
Parakarry: All Mail Paratroopas wear hats like these. It protects us from high velocity winds.
Wacky: All right, seat 202.
Lemmy: When using your attack Sky Raid, how do you see where you're going?
Parakarry: All Mail Paratroopas have to go through intense training so we can see at high speeds and in all kinds of weather.
Kollin: Seat 50!
Goombaria: What happens when a Koopa Troopa marries a Paratroopa?
Parakarry: Something that people may well know as interracial marriage. The kids that develop may either be Paratroopas or Koopa Troopas.
Wacky: Seat 698.
Blooper: Who is your idol?
Parakarry: My dad. I wanted to be just like him growing up. He was the best mailman that they ever had.
Kollin: One last question, seat 20!
Iggy: Why is your shell teal rather than green or red like other Koopas?
Parakarry: It's the color shells Mail Paratroopas get according to rank. They go, in order from lowest to highest: yellow, lime, teal, gold, and platinum. My dad and another Mail Paratroopa are the only ones to have ever gotten a platinum shell.
Wacky: Well, I guess that’s it.
(Axem Black’s arm falls off.)
Kollin: Woah, what happened?
Axem Black: So… much… writing! Arm… hurts!
Wacky: Oh, you poor thing. You wanna cookie?
Axem Black: Sure!
Wacky: You’ll get it once you can start the camera.
Axem Black: Dang it!
Axem Green: Hey, I’m back!
Wacky and Axem Black: Axem Green!
Wacky: Where did GIMB go?
Axem Green: You don’t want to know. Also, if you see an article in the newspaper that says anything about GIMB in the hospital or you being a wimp, ignore it.
Wacky: Okay.
Kollin: Can I say it?
Wacky: Say what?
Kollin: End Transmission!
Axem Black: Oh, I forgot, the camera’s still on.
(Axem Black then goes toward the camera.)
Everyone in the studio: DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING, YOU DOLT!
(Too late. Axem Black pushes a button that covers the whole studio in cheese fondue.)
Wacky: Axem Black, never touch a mechanical device again.
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