Leah: Welcome all! Today I am interviewing the foot soldier of Princess Shroob’s army, umm, Shroob.
Shroob: #^@%$!
Leah: And since our guest today has a little bit of a speech problem…I sto- err, borrowed Professor E. Gadd’s universal translator.
Leah takes out what seems to be some type of helmet and places it on Shroob’s head. She switches it to “ON” and then sits back down.
Shroob: Hello everyone!
Leah: All right, now to the questions. First off, why did you and your friends attack Plit many years ago?
Shroob: Well, our home planet is always dark and dreary, so when we looked out in space, we saw Plit in all its light-y goodness. We wanted to move there so we can have the sun.
Leah: (Good thing I wasn’t born yet…) All right, next. How do you feel about only being able to fight the Mario Bros. once, while all of your friends got many chances?
Shroob: Well, yes, the normal Shroobs, like me, only actually fought them once in HolliJoli Village, but we helped out in a lot of battles inside of our flying saucers, and there were many of us with Commander Shroob as “Support Shroobs” for the Shroob-ombs.
Leah: I see, you little buggers are more helpful than you seem.
Shroob: Did you just call me a bugger?
Shroob takes out his laser gun and points it at Leah.
Leah: N-no, I said, sluggers…
Shroob: All right, you’re safe for now.
Luigi (in audience): No you didn’t. You said bu-
Leah handed Shroob back his laser gun, smoke coming from the end of it.
Leah: Now, if we can continue. How much room is there for a Shroob inside one of those saucers of yours? They look pretty small since the top of your head sticks out of it.
Shroob: They aren’t that small, actually. They have enough room for us to sit comfortably, a spot for our laser, a TV, a microwave, a fridge, a footrest, and a picture of a cat.
Leah: … A cat?
Shroob: To make us feel happier.
Leah: Makes sense… So, umm, the lasers that you hold in your hand and the laser the robot arm on your saucer holds, are they the same laser?
Shroob: Yep. They used to be separate ones, but then we had a few budget cuts…
Leah: All right, now to the audience for a few questions. Seat 777.
Kooper: If you had the choice, would you like to appear in another game?
Shroob: Of course, I just hope I’m fighting against Bowser instead; he looks like more of a pushover.
Bowser: Pushover?!
Bowser gets up from his seat and tries to storm the stage, but he is cut short by a trapdoor that appears under him. Leah puts away her remote control after closing it back up.
Shroob: How deep is that anyway?
Leah: I don’t know, I fell asleep while I waited for my test Goomba to hit the bottom. Seat 14.
Mario: What-a is your favorite-a food?
Shroob: Well, I’ve always been partial to donuts, I guess…
Leah: All right, last question. Seat 45.
Mr. Little: Vat ist your real name?
Shroob: Well, my first name is Shroob, but my last name is Shrooby-shroom-mush-billy bob-mushy the Third.
Leah: …
Audience: …
Leah: … Well, we’re all out of time. Thank you for sharing this with us, Mr. Shroob.
Shroob: You’re welcome, miss.
Leah: Now I need to return this before Gadd sees it’s gone.
Leah switched the translator to “OFF” and takes it off Shroob’s head. She runs off, leaving Shroob and the cameramen alone.
Shroob: ^%@&$?
Lakitu: Umm, end transmission.
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