Fireball: Welcome to another Interview show of mine!
Kroshi: Yes, and today is a VERY special Interview, right Fireball?
Fireball: Nope. Just a plain show you see every time. But with different characters and such.
Kroshi: Oh, I see.
(A great flash of light appears.)
Phantos67: All right, Fawful Koopa, I'm here... Wait. You’re not Fawful Koopa. Oh, hey Fireball! What are you doing here?
Fireball: This is my interview studio, unless you bought it somehow and someway.
Mario: That would be a little strange, and I don't want to be hurt by Thud! Please tell me he didn't buy the studio.
Lemmy: Stop crying, Mario, you’re a hero for petes sakes!
Mario: Oh yeah, I can do whatever I want!
Kroshi: Not everything...
Phantos67: Thud, hold off on Mario, I think he's a close friend of Fireball here. Mario, you’re dead the next time you appear in my Interview.
Mario: *gulp*
(A mole pops up out of the floor and G Bloop grabs it and tosses it into the interviewee chair.)
Monty Mole: What's going on?
Phantos67: You’re going to be interviewed. So here we go. What was your first appearance?
Monty: Lemme think...
Lemmy: I'm not thinking right now.
Monty: I said Lemme, not Lemmy.
Phantos67: Corny...
Monty: Super Mario World was the first game.
Fireball: Well that didn't have much information.
Monty: What did you want me to say, my lifelong story?
Fireball: Nope. On with the next question, why is it that in Mario baseball games you are fast but weak, but in Mario soccer games you are slow but strong?
Monty: Smart question. So smart I don't want to answer it.
Kroshi: Just get on with it.
Monty: All right then, during baseball, I train on my speed. I run around the bases and such, but don't practice much else. But in the soccer games I work on my power, but not my speed, since I like to have a strong kick for the ball. You see what I mean?
Fireball: Pretty much.
Phantos67: You made my question look like dirt. I've got to top that. What were the wiggling brains in Super Mario World there for?
Monty: That does not top his, pal. Those were us moving around in the dirt, not brains.
Phantos67: I just made his question look even better!
Wacko: It's best to keep your mouth shut.
Phantos67: YOU keep YOUR mouth shut or I'll have Thud squash you like the Flower Fuzzy you are!
Fireball: Heh... Flower Fuzzy.
Monty: Yes, it's funny and all. But let’s get back to this Interview.
Fireball: Fine, when you get defeated in Paper Mario, how come you drop Honey Syrup?
Monty: The stuff is quite sweet to eat, but when we’re trying to build something, we may use the syrup to hold it together, then the syrup melts off later.
Kroshi: Wow, these are interesting facts about a mole.
Wario: And good ones.
Phantos67: How come Monty Moles were yellow in Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga, and how come they weren't enemies?
Monty: They are a special and very rare and clever breed. They live only in the Beanbean Kingdom and there aren't many. They didn't want to join in Cackletta's raid so they helped out the Mario Bros. by giving them helpful and rare items. They are yellow because that's just how they were born.
Fireball: And right away with the next questions, are you related to Mukumukus from Super Mario RPG? You guys have similar attacks. And if you are related to them, why don't we see them anymore?
Monty: Why yes, they’re like the children, compared to us. They’re like in training, kind of. You don't see them anymore because they only live on Star Hill, and Mario almost wiped them all out, so that's why.
Kroshi: Interesting facts.
Phantos67: Why did you skip out on the Shroob raid in Partners in Time? And why did you run an item shop?
Monty: We are loyal only to Bowser and the Koopa Troop, we don't join in with other villains for the most part. We ran an item shop to again help the Mario Bros. so they could beat the Shroobs so they would leave King Bowser alone. We helped them for a price, of course.
Kroshi: I think it's almost time for the crowd to ask some questions soon.
Fireball: Right, but later. Next question, why do you use a cannon in Super Mario Sunshine?
Monty: We were having trouble beating Mario, like always, and we made a cannon to stop him. Plus, we had to protect the Shine Sprites. But as you see, it failed.
Fireball: And another question, in Super Mario Galaxy, there is a boss called Major Burrows. Is he a Monty Mole or related to Monty Moles?
Monty: He's a Monty Mole, just like us. We moles had a major getting ready to get Mario, and then he was ready to take him on. Mario did get him quite angry, don't you agree?
Fireball: Yeah, I guess.
Phantos67: Do you think you will continue to appear in games?
Monty: Well, many creatures have "dropped out" and will probably never be seen again, but I am one of those creatures that plan on staying a long time. I already will be appearing in Mario and Luigi 3, and plan to make many more appearances.
Fireball: Here's a question, in New Super Mario Bros, is Monty Tank, that World 6 boss, in charge of you Moles?
Monty: Why, Bowser took him under his wing, and taught him what to do. Tank made a tank to try and destroy Mario for Bowser. Tank was never in charge of us. Bowser was going to make him in charge, but he lost, and Bowser treated him like a regular minion again.
Kroshi: Wow, it seems like you guys have a lot of history.
Monty: We do.
Kroshi: Ah.
Phantos67: Is there such a thing as Paramontie's? Like Monty Moles with wings?
Monty: As far as I know, no. Monty Moles generally feel more comfortable below ground level. We sometimes come up every once in a while, but I can't imagine a Monty Mole having wings.
Phantos67: Audience Question Time! Fireball, the calling thingy is all yours!
Fireball: Well, maybe I just will call a seat, Phantos67. Maybe I just will... Seat 5,255.
Dark Boo: What are your thoughts on Monty Moles today?
Monty: I feel like we’re going to the good side. We’re in all these Mario sports now, so I think we will be on Mario's side possibly really soon. Maybe even a partner in a game possibly.
Wario: Outstanding!
Fireball: The thing I love about this show is the people’s comments, like Wario's just right now... Except for Luigi's, no one cares about his comments.
Luigi: I'm surprised you even remember my name.
Fireball: As am I.
Phantos67: Seat CRYBABY!
Luigi: I'm not in the audience.
Phantos67: I meant the other one, from Luigi's Mansion.
Chauncey: Talk to us a little bit about Mega Moles, how do they get so big?
Monty: The answer to that is quite simple actually. They got a hold of some Mega Mushrooms, and ate some. Instead of it wearing off and them getting smaller, they stayed enlarged. We use them only in the deep underground cavern parts, though.
Chauncey: But... some Monty Moles are in between small and huge.
Monty: Those guys got a hold of regular Mushrooms. Us Monty Moles don't like the taste, that's why not every single Monty Mole eats the Mushrooms; only the daring ones.
Fireball: Wow, after this Interview I'm getting a hold of a Mega Mushroom!
Kroshi: Extreme!
Fireball: I know! Seat 777!
Bowser: Why not just go in Huge Monty Mole groups and crush Mario?
Monty: Well, I thought you made the decisions, but like I was saying before, only the daring ones would go for a Mega Mushroom.
Fireball: Luckily, I am a daring one.
Fireball takes a Fire Cola and glugs it all down and throws it away
Fireball: Nothing like a nice, hot Fire Cola!
Phantos67: I might be able to drink one of those since I can spit fireballs. Lemme try.
(Fireball hands Phantos a Fire Cola.)
Phantos67: ... HOT! It's not bad though...
Wacko: Wigit, you call a seat, ok?
Wigit: Sure thing, Boss Number Two.
Phantos67: Boss Number Two?
Wacko: Yeah, I told him I was boss number two.
Phantos67: ...
Wigit: Seat MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!
Podoboo: I don't have any pants, I'm lava. Anyways, why do Mega Moles always wear shades? Even underground?
Monty: I don't think they've been above ground, but they wear them to look cool. If they ever did go outside they probably would need them, being accustomed to the dark and all.
Fireball: I think it's almost time to end this Interview... or is it almost time to end this Interview?
Kroshi: Probably not.
Fireball: Ah, as I thought. Seat 23.
Toad: Do you make homes underground to live in, or do you live on ground, or what?
Monty: We live next to Bowser's castle underground, it's pretty comforting down there as well. Bowser supplies us with the our needs down there.
Toad: I wish Peach would pay us a minimum wage.
Peach: Why, when you do nothing?!
Toad: That's it! I cook, clean, manage stores, play sports I don't even like, do chores for you, AND do things that are random JUST for you, and I have had ENOUGH!
Fireball: Meh, you can hang out here, Toad.
Toad: I do all the time, you never notice me, nor do you hear my comments!
Fireball: Huh... Well you should really speak up.
Toad: ...
Phantos67: And the final question. Seat CHOCOLATE LUVR!
Ludwig: Would you say you are friendly with the Bullet Bills since you seem to be manning the cannons that shoot Bullet Bills sometimes?
Monty: Well, I never thought of it before... We just fire the cannons, we don't really care who is in them. So, not really.
Phantos67: Well Fireball, thanks for interviewing with me again.
Fireball: My pleasure, Phantom! Now to get a hold of those Mega Mushrooms.
Fireball goes over to a cupboard and takes out a Mega Mushroom
Fireball: For some random reason, I have a Mushroom in my cupboard... Hmm.
Phantos67: Well, that's it.
G Bloop: End Trans-
Fireball gulps down the Mega Mushroom and grows huge.
Fireball: Hmm... Bitter... yet sweet at the same time... Weird.
G Blooper: -mission.
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