Fireball: Hello, and welcome to my awesome show with WT, Mario, and Wario... and maybe the fellow that looks like a Spear Guy.
Mario: What's his name?
Wario: Must be a new guy, I guess.
Fireball: Indeed...
Amadeus: Hey! I'm standing right here, you know! For DAD's sake, I taped your show countless times, and filled in during an emergency! The LEAST you could do is remember me!
WT: Zzz... Zzz...
Amadeus: Hey, WT! WAKE UP!
(WT awakens and falls out of his chair in shock. He quickly straightens himself out and sits back down before glaring angrily at his assistant/friend Amadeus.)
WT: Dude, what the?! You KNOW how I hate it when naptime gets interrupted!
Amadeus: Well, sorry to hear about that, but I'm having a bit of a fit right now, and I'd appreciate it if SOMEBODY listened to me! Besides, the show's on.
WT: It is?! Dang; must've overslept!
Amadeus: ... *sigh* Doesn't anybody care about me?
Endark (in Seat 2 of the audience): Now you know how I feel on a daily basis...
Fireball: I've got a couple of rules here!
Mario: *Gasp *
Fireball: Rule number one, shut up! Rule number two, there are no more Jolly Ranchers! I ate them all!
Amadeus: Those aren't rules! One's an order, and the other's a statement! And what's a Jolly Rancher?
Endark: A type of candy, I believe.
Wario: NOOOOOO! The great Wario is hungry!
Kammy: That's nothing new.
Wario: Thanks!
Fireball: Anyway... That Spear Guy is new here today-
Amadeus: No I'm not!
Fireball: -and WT and I shall be interviewing a Guy with Fire, whose name has the letter F in it. It's Flare from the Glitz Pit!
Flare: It's Bro. I'm a Bro with Fire, not a Guy.
WT: I really don't think that the guy who owns this show cares about that. Now, I'll ask the first question of the show: how have Hamma and Bamma been?
Flare: Well, only one thing has changed since you guys interviewed Hamma. Due to our training, we've been able to increase our ranking by two positions!
WT: That's very... uninteresting, to be honest. I mean, good for you guys and all, but...
Fireball: *sigh* Look, what WT is trying to say is that nobody cares!
Wario: Gasp! WT! You took my I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!
Mario: The shame.
WT: Are you referring to me, Mario, or Wario's absurd placement of a nonsensical running gag?
Mario: ... I'm not really certain myself.
Fireball: Next question! So, all I usually see you do is throw fireballs at people. Is that all you can do?
Flare: Well, I've recently learned how to set fire to Hamma's hammers... That's something new...
WT: I hope you set them on fire AFTER they're out of your partner's hands... Anyways, next Q. What would you do if you and the rest of your team actually became the next grand champions of the Glitz Pit?
Flame: Immediately after becoming the top fighters, we'd probably celebrate by going to the juice bar and ordering a round of drinks for everyone. Then, we'd go to the room reserved for champions, and trash it, just because we can. After that, life just goes back to normal, with us continuing to fight in order to preserve our new position.
Fireball: That sounds awful! You should at LEAST invite me over! I mean, come on! I am the KING of parties!
Wario: You sure are... I think... Well... don't look at me!
Fireball: Next question. Who is your toughest opponents in the Glitz Pit... not including Rawk Hawk, Mario, or Mario's Yoshi partner from PM2?
Flare: Well, that would have to be the Magikoopa Masters. Their magic and power-ups can help them a lot. Plus, there are three of them, and three of us.
Fireball: I'm surprised that there are three of you and yet you're not the champions and you find it hard to beat up Rawk Hawk... That's just stupid!
WT: Now Fireball, remember what they say: quality is better than quantity. Even though they outnumber Rawk, he's far more experienced than the trio, so it's justifiable that they haven't achieved the high status they're aiming for yet.
Flare: ... Are you trying to defend me, or insult me?
WT: A little of both, really. Now, Flare, what's your favorite meal?
Flare: Shroom Pasta, coated in Hot Sauce, with some Lemon Candy for desert. And don't think that I like hot sauce just because I'm a Fire Bro; I just happen to like spicy food.
Fireball: No comment whatsoever... which leads me to my next question. If you had to be either a Hammer Bro or a Boomerang Bro, which would you be?
Luigi: How did that lead you to your next question?
Fireball: Shut up, Luigi!
Flare: A Boomerang Bro probably, because there aren't many of them around, and I'd like to have an interesting job. Plus, their boomerangs can come back to them, causing twice as much damage as other weapons.
WT: Sounds nice... though, if it's a specialized trade, it would probably take a lot of work to reach that class. This next query is my favorite query, Flare; what's your opinion on Waluigi, the lean, mean, purple machine we all know and tolerate?
Flare: Well, I can stand the guy, but I don't think he's as talented as you've often described him. If he hasn't been a part of a major adventure by now, there MUST be a good reason.
Fireball: ... So, what are you trying to say?
Flare: That-
Fireball: Stop asking me stupid questions! That's MY job. My next question is, how do you get all of those fireballs in you?
Flare: I eat spicy stuff, which somehow makes them into fireballs.
Fireball: That's crazy.
Flare: That's because it's not the truth. Actually, we Fire Brothers are all taught a little magic by Magikoopas.
Amadeus: So why did you say it was due to spices?
Flare: What, Fireball's the only guy around here allowed to act nutty?
WT: ... Zzz... Zzz...
Amadeus: Oh, geez, not again... WAKE UP, WT!
(WT falls out of his chair again upon being woken up, but quickly returns to his seat.)
WT: Man, I've really got to get more sleep... So, Flare, what would you say is the biggest mistake you've ever made in your life?
Flare: Watching you and Fireball interview Tileoid R in the last show. I don't mean to be rude, but that guy made Endark look like less of a bore than he usually is. Which, I should add, is a miracle.
Endark: ... I'll choose to ignore that comment, seeing how vastly superior I am in comparison to a commoner like you.
Fireball: Look, Endark! You're as boring as anything!
Endark: You're a “thing”, aren't you? Are you calling yourself boring as well?
Fireball: You should like Tileoid R because you may share the same boring interests! Now be friends and don't talk in my studio unless we pick you... which is not very likely... And sit all the way in the back row so I don't have to listen to you! Do I make myself clear?
Mario: He can't respond... We duct-taped his mouth, and duct-taped him into a seat.
Endark: No you didn't!
Mario: Do you WANT to be duct-taped?
Endark: ... I'll be in seat one million if you guys need me.
(He changes seats.)
Fireball: Very good... Next question, did you ever have a crush?
Flare: About a week ago, at the Glitz Pit bar, I met a girl with a black dress on, and a pink-and-white hat on her head. Though she's a Toad and she didn't speak much, it was kind of a “love at first sight” deal. Except, I didn't know how she felt about me. But two days ago, I asked her if she'd like to go out on a date with me, and she accepted! Now, we're boyfriend-girlfriend.
Fireball: That's good and all, but the question states, did you ever have a crush?
Flare: I just gave you my answer!
WT: Well then, since we're obviously running out of stuff to ask, let's give the audience a chance to ask Flare some questions! Seat one million...
Endark: Yes!
WT: ...and one...
Endark: Dang!
WT: ... What's on your mind?
Elite X-Naut: Yeah, dude... Like, ya got a favorite novel or somethin'?
Flare: Not really. I'm more of a movie fan than a book guy.
Elite X-Naut: Well then, dude, what film do you like the most?
Flare: “Young Frankenstein”. It's an excellent comedic parody of the horror genre, and I enjoyed it from start to finish.
Fireball: You don't have good taste!
Flare: Meh.
Fireball: Seat E90...
(Endark runs over to the seat, throws the guy out, and sits in the seat.)
Fireball: ...and 5.
Endark: DANG!
Goomba #398: What are your hobbies?
Flare: I don't really have any.
WT: None? At all? Not even video games?!
Flare: Nope, I'm too busy training for the Glitz Pit to have a hobby.
WT: Lame. Seat... oh, since it'll just become a ridiculous running gag if I let this continue, I-
Wario: Can't believe it's not butter?
WT: NO! I'm going to pick Endark... as long as he doesn't ask that lame government question. It's nice to ask something unique, but that's going a bit too far.
Endark: I can agree to that. So, Flare, which of the seven Koopalings... eight, if you include that lousy Bowser Junior... do you like the most?
Flare: I prefer Roy over the others. Strong, brave, has a pair of cool sunglasses... And if the Glitz Pit ever goes out of business, I can probably sign up to be in his Sports Hall.
Fireball: I don't know...
Flashback...
Fireball: Can I join, Roy?
Roy: Only if you sign these forms.
Fireball: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
End Flashback...
Fireball: What a fearful day that was...
Amadeus: Doesn't Roy only hire ENEMIES of Mario to fight in the arena? I mean, I know you two don't get along sometimes, but-
WT: Just let it slide, Amadeus. Just let it slide.
Fireball: Seat 423,049,904,235.
Lord Crump: Did you used to work for that wimpy Bowser?
Bowser: I take full offense!
Flare: Nope.
WT: Well, if not from Bowser's army, where did you learn how to be a Fire Brother?
Flare: No comment.
WT: Aw, c'mon! It's not like I'm asking you the secret to life!
Flare: Oh, fine. When I was younger, I used to hang out with older Koopas that had already joined the army. They agreed to teach me a few things, if I did some odd jobs for them. It was only after I learned enough skills to become a Fire Brother that I found out they were a part of some Koopa Mafia, and that I had unknowingly helped smuggle counterfeit Starmen, P-Wings, and Warp Whistles over the border. I stopped hanging around with those guys immediately after, and I never heard from them again.
WT: That's so... so... Zzz... Zzz...
Amadeus: And he's asleep again. I'd say that this looks like as good a time to end the show as any.
Fireball: I'm way ahead of you, new guy!
Mario: He's been here for a long time, right?
Amadeus: Right!
Fireball: WRONG! Seat MarioMarioMarioMarioMario000000000Mario9.
Mario: Did you really think you could beat me?
Flare: Yeah.
Mario: Well, HA!
Fireball: That's it for today, folks.
Mario: Dang!
Fireball: I know, Mario. See you next time on Fireball and WT's, but it's really Fireball's Interview Show, and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Show!
WT: Zzz... Zzz...
Fireball: End transmission.
Whoops! You're not logged in! |