WT: Welcome, one and all, to Fireball's Interview Show, co-starring yours truly once more!
Amadeus: They finally got you out of that cage?
WT: Obviously.
Fireball: I can yet speak again! And I've wanted to do this for a long time!
(Fireball throws some pies at WT, Endark, D.DKoopa, and Amadeus. He stops himself before he throws one at Wario.)
Fireball: No more pies; we're wasting them.
Mario: I'd say.
Fireball: Mario! I thought you were in a random hospital!
Mario: Well, it's a long story...
Flashback...
(Mario, fully cured, leaves the hospital and walks to his house.)
End of Flashback...
Mario: ... Huh. Guess it wasn't as long as I thought.
Amadeus: You know, I'm really getting sick of having flashbacks about things I've never actually seen!
Endark: Hey! I was hospitalized, too! Don't you want to know what happened to me?
Wario: Don't you want to be alive at the end of the week?
Endark: ... I think I'll shut up now.
WT: Let's just cut to the chase, shall we? Today, we're interviewing Tileoid R, an enemy from Super Paper Mario that appears to be made of tiny red tiles... hence the name. So, R, why do you have more HP than the other types of Tileoid?
Tileoid R: Because, while the others all hang out at that pitstop in the middle of deep space, I increase my strength and stamina by lifting weights back at the Whoa Zone!
Amadeus: ... Uh, lifting weights? How do-
Tileoid R: A Goomba astronaut taught me.
Fireball: You guys... random couple of something, something Interview show.
Mario: Sweet!
Fireball: Next question... Who is your favorite minion?
Tileoid R: It would have to be Boo. I like how he scares people all the time.
Boo: It's what I do best.
WT: Agreed. Now, I'm going to ask my trademark Q. Tileoid R, what's your opinion on Waluigi?
Tileoid R: On a scale from one to ten, ten being the best, I'd say he's a... six and a half.
WT: Well, at least he's above average.
Fireball: You've got to stop asking that question!
Mario: Agreed.
Fireball: Next question then, Tiles... Do you have any talents?
Tileoid R: Nope!
Fireball: What a shame.
WT: None at all? ... Well, you'll probably find your talent one day. My next Q is, do you have any hobbies?
Tileoid R: Well, I've been a stamp collector ever since I was only a single tile...
WT: Geez, and I thought Endark was a bore to listen to.
Endark: HEY! I heard that!
Fireball: It's better to hear from someone you... uhhh... like?
(Eveyone looks at Wario.)
Wario: ... What are you looking at me for?
Fireball: Next question then, what do you do now? Do you work for anyone now?
Tileoid R: I have nothing to do but my stamps...
Fireball: Well you can join the audience now!
Tileoid R: My lifelong dream!
WT: ... Uh, wasn't he already in the audience in previous-
Amadeus: Don't ruin the moment for him, pal.
WT: Fine, but all of this insanity is giving me a headache. Can I call it quits early?
Amadeus: Not unless you want Fireball to throw you in another cage... At least, that's what I think he'd do.
WT: Drat. Anyways, Tileoid R, which of Count Bleck's cronies do you like the most?
Tileoid R: Nastasia. Just one look, and POW! You're a mindless slave. She probably could've taken over the multiverse single-handedly if she hadn't been so devoted to the Count.
Fireball: Nastasia couldn't even beat me! For goodness’ sake, she would lose to Luigi in a sec.
Luigi: Oh, stop, you're making me blush!
Fireball: Next question, and maybe last for some strange reason, what's your favorite music?
Tileoid R: ... I like no music at all! Silence is golden, you know!
Fireball: I have a right mind to kick you!
(So, Fireball does.)
WT: All right; let's move on to audience questions. Seat 667.
Bowser Jr: What's the most rotten deed you've ever done?
Tileoid R: Well, not including the fact that I was an enemy to the lovely people trying to save every dimension in existence, I used to be a rather avid litterbug during my childhood!
Fireball: What a shame!
Wario: Indeed!
Fireball: Seat 9,024.
Waluigi: What's the thing you fear most?
Tileoid R: I'm most afraid of Bowser. His breath is so bad, it just makes me get dizzy and sleepy at the mere thought. And his teeth are so... dirty!
Bowser: My secret weapon!
(Half of the audience passes out soon after Bowser speaks.)
WT: UGH! He was right; I can smell that stench all the way from here! Anyways, seat... No, that guy's in a coma. Seat 15, then.
Cudge the Pixl: What's your favorite word?
Tileoid R: That's certainly an odd question. But, I'd have to say that it would be “idyll”. It means, according to my copy of the dictionary, a short poem or prose work describing a simple, peaceful scene of rural or pastoral life.
Fireball: You are a loser.
Tileoid R: I try... No, wait...
Fireball: Seat 3,005 with a pie on top.
Toad: If you could be in another Mario game, what would it be?
Tileoid R: None. I liked being in Super Paper Mario, and that is all the action I need.
Toad: Well, you didn't do much in it.
WT: Which, honestly, doesn't surprise me at this point. Seat 38, you're up.
Goomba #24: Are you a communist or a capitalist?
(Everybody stares at the Goomba.)
Goomba #24: ... What? I couldn't think of anything better!
Tileoid R: I'd say I'm a capitalist. If the government treats everybody equally, then the miscreants that don't deserve the same benefits as the saints will get them anyways. Capitalism makes everybody get exactly what they work for, nothing more, nothing less. It's a shame for those that can't work due to a good reason, but I doubt that most people would want to pay valuable money to help the slackers that don't deserve their kindness.
Fireball: Since when did Plit have a government? I thought the people made their choice, like when I rob stores.
Mario: You rob stores? You must be super rich!
Fireball: You can never have too much, Mario.
WT: ... Wait a second! Are the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom and the main host of a show televised 'round the world PROMOTING thievery to viewers everywhere?!
Fireball: ... Seat Whyareyouhere0.
Amadeus: Which isn't a real seat, but we'll roll with it.
Pink Boo: Who's your favorite boss?
Tileoid R: No one in particular.
WT: Really? Come on; there must be SOMEBODY you like the most!
Tileoid R: ... Some things are better left unsaid.
Pink Boo: YOU STINK!
WT: Not as much as Bowser's breath, at least. Seat 48.
Bowyer: A week of free time, let's suppose you have. Visit, where would you?
Tileoid R: Well, I already told everyone that I have nothing other than my stamp collection, so I've got free time ALL the time. And I'm quite happy just staying at home.
WT: Let's wrap this up. I'm feeling quite tired...as is most of the audience, I bet... And I just HATE it when I don't get enough time to take naps.
(Fireball hits WT with a ice block.)
Fireball: Don't ask where I got that from... Seat Marioforsure9320.
Mario: Did you really think you could beat me?
Tileoid R: I was so sure I could beat you... I was sure.
Fireball: Well, that's all for now, everyone!
Mario: Dang it all!
Fireball: I know, Mario... Well, I'll see you next time with WT, Mario, and Wario... Not Endark...
Endark: You'd like that, wouldn't you?
WT: End transmission!
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