WT: Welcome, one and all, to another Interview show that Fireball and I will be co-hosting!
Fireball: Yo, everyone!
Amadeus: ... Why aren't we doing this in a studio?
(The camera pans backwards, revealing that the interviewers, the audience, and everyone else that's a part of the show are located in the Downtown of Crag from Super Paper Mario.)
WT: ... Well, you see, Fireball was in a bit of a pickle, and needed my help to pay off the rent on his studio. But, once I got the cash, I kinda spent it to pay off some gambling debts, and-
Amadeus: Don't worry; I know how the rest of the story always goes.
WT: Anyways, just because we don't have a building, it doesn't mean the show can't go on! And what a show we have for you tonight! We're interviewing the one and only Cudge, AKA the Pixl that can magically turn himself into a hammer, which was a great help to Mario and his friends... and Bowser... during their cross-dimensional adventure extravaganza! Cudge, come on down!
Fireball: I want my studio back. Maybe if my HELPER, I MAY SAY, HAD NOT BEEN A GAMBLER! MAYBE I WOULD BE IN MY STUDIO!
Mario: This is the first time we never had a studio at Fireball's.
Roy: Yep.
(Fireball grabs Cudge and hits Amadeus on the head.)
Fireball: That's for giving me a book! You rich jerk!
Amadeus: ...
Fireball: Get in here, Cudge!
Cudge: I am-
WT: Don't bother; he's too enraged to listen to reason. So, Cudge, I guess I'll start this show off. When you're used to hit enemies and smash blocks, do you feel any physical pain?
Cudge: Nope. When I'm used as a hammer, I'm as hard-headed as my friends tell me I usually am! ... Wait; that didn't come out right, did it?
Fireball: It sure didn't, Cudge.
Cudge: That's bad-
Fireball: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!
Cudge: ...
Fireball: Next question, were you good friends with Mario and Co?
Cudge: I was friends with some of them, like the other Pixls and Peach, but the wannabe was too busy to notice me... Luigi was the wannabe.
Luigi: HEY!
WT: Really? I would've thought you'd... HEY!
(WT is now being prodded with sticks by the resident Crags. Two of them get the nerve to grab the orange-lover by the wrists.)
WT: Let go of me, you dirty apes!
(WT quickly raises his legs and kicks the Crags away.)
WT: Gah, some people just can't understand the word “no”, can they? Anyways, back to the questions: out of the many dimensions you and the gang visited, which was your favorite?
Cudge: I rather liked the Sammer Kingdom. That tournament was... was...
(Cudge quickly flies up into the air.)
Cudge: AWESOME!
(Cudge flies back down to the ground.)
WT: ... Uh... “Awesome”?
Cudge: Yeah, it's my newest catchphrase.
WT: ... Okay then. Whatever floats your boat.
Cudge: What's that supposed to mean?!
WT: Oh, nothing really. It just sounds... overused.
Cudge: Oh, yeah?! What, you think you can come up with something better?!
WT: In a heartbeat. How about... tubular?
(Cudge is silent for a moment. Then, he quickly flies back into the sky.)
Cudge: TUBULAR!
(Cudge returns to the ground again.)
Cudge: Say, that's not half-bad! I like how it's kinda retro!
Fireball: If you don't shut up, I'll give you MY catchphrase, if you catch my drift.
Cudge: Oh...
Fireball: Not you, him!
(Fireball points at Luigi.)
Luigi: ...
Fireball: Next question, where are you living now?
Cudge: I live here with the Crags.
Fireball: That must stink, doesn't it?
Cudge: Not when you have your own secret house that no one knows about...
WT: Really? Where... Never mind; it wouldn't be much of a secret if you told people about it. How about this inquiry: if you had the power of one of the other Pixls in addition to your own, which would it be?
Cudge: Dashell, for sure! I could break down a mountain in a single day with his kind of speed!
Fireball: That's nice and all there, Cudge, but could you get me that cookie next to you?
Cudge: Sure.
(Cudge gives Fireball the cookie and Fireball munches it down.)
Fireball: Next question... Why can you float a little?
Cudge: ‘Cause Pixels are a little magic!
Fireball: ... You gave me a cookie, so I'll let that comment pass.
Cudge: ...
WT: Hey, wait! I just realized something! How'd you give him a cookie if you have no hands?!
Cudge: Oh, I learned how to do that from Goombas.
WT: But that doesn't explain-
Cudge: Look, bud, I had to swear my life not to reveal their secret. And I'm not really planning to die anytime soon.
WT: ... Well then, I'm completely out of questions. Let's start asking... our audience!
(WT points to where the audience is supposed to be, but nobody's there. Their screams can be heard from nearby, though.)
WT: ... Stupid Crags stole our audience!
Amadeus: I prepared for such an occasion. Somewhere mid-show, I flashed a television number across the screen. Now, the folks watching at home will be the ones that are able to ask questions to our guest. And we've already got callers!
WT: ... Uh... Okay. I guess. So, whoever's on Line 1, what do you want to ask?
Toad: Is this the cooking show?
Fireball: No, ask a question to Cudge.
Toad: Ok... Who is he?
Fireball: That guy that looks like a hammer and has no hands but can pick up stuff anyway. But he can't tell anyone how or he will die.
Toad: Oh... Are you made out of paper?
Cudge: I am paper!
Toad: Oh...
Amadeus: Huh... I always just thought you were really thin.
WT: Well, the game wouldn't have been called Super PAPER Mario without paper-thin characters, would it? Anyways, Line 2, you're up!
Tileoid R: Am I the lucky millionth caller?
WT: No; you're the second caller on an Interview show.
Tileoid R: Oh, nuts... So, who're you interviewing?
WT: Cudge the Pixl. Want to ask him a question?
Tileoid R: May as well. So, Cudge, what's your greatest fear?
Cudge: Well, until we went to the Underwhere, it was getting a game over. Now, it's kinda the opposite; now that I know there's some place reserved for me when I lose my last life, what if I spend the rest of eternity bored out of my mind?
WT: I know. Makes you wonder why so many villains seek eternal life...
Fireball: Not really. Next!
Red Yoshi: Hello.
Fireball: Hi... This is the Interview show so ask a question to Cudge. If you’re on the wrong show just wait until after the beep.
Red Yoshi: Yoshi think this right show.
Fireball: Blow us away with your question, then.
Red Yoshi: Is this the last time Cudge go in videogame?
Cudge: Looks like it.
WT: All right, Amadeus, how many more callers do we have?
Amadeus: ... One. It's that rather rude dino named Boshi. I'll put him on right now.
Boshi: Hey, dudes! Long time fan, first time caller! So, Cudge, ya got a girlfriend?
Cudge: Well, the only female Pixls I know of are Tippi, Carrie, and Piccolo. Most people already know about what happened to Tippi... As for the other two, I'm not really that close to either of them.
Boshi: ... W'ever. By the way, WT, remember that you bet what was left of your cash on me for the next Yoshi race? Well, I won, dude!
WT: Sweet! We can buy back the studio now!
Amadeus: And look, Mario's just escaped from the Crags in time for the final question of the night!
Mario: Did you really think you could... Wait... ummm... Did you like being my partner?
Cudge: It was rather ok...
Mario: In that case, I'm going back in to kick some Crag booty!
(Mario does what he just said he'd do.)
Fireball: This is Fireball saying... goodbye and thanks for that cookie, Cudge... Oh yeah, thanks to WT. See ya next time!
Mario: Dang! It's over!
Fireball: I know, Mario...
WT: An honor, as al...alwa...ATCHOO! Gah, I think I've caught a cold!
Amadeus: That'll teach you to stop gambling with important funds!
Fireball: End Transmission!
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