(The Interview studio is a mess. P.T. sits up from lying unconsciously under a pile of stuff.)
P.T.: Ugh… How long has it been since an Interview?
(Mii T. checks his watch.)
Mii T.: I think a few months.
P.T.: Wow. Who is still alive?
Spike: Me…
Punchy: Me.
Bogmire: Me.
Bill: Me. Now pay me!
P.T.: Here you go.
(P.T. gives him Mii T.)
Mii T.: Hey!
Shrike: Me.
Lemmy: Me.
P.T.: Shut up, you don’t matter.
Lemmy: I’m your boss!
P.T.: Sure you are. Now who’s interviewing who?
Spike: Ugh, you’re just gonna force me to, so I guess I will. But who?
P.T.: Uhhhhhhhh… Mr. L.
Lemmy: How? He’s Luigi again.
P.T.: Silence, nonbeliever!
Soon…
Spike: So you’re… who?
Mr. L: The Green Thunder, Mr. L!
(Mr. L does that pose.)
Spike: No posing in the studio. Do you know anything about your identity?
Mr. L: It’s a secret!
Spike: Tell me the secret.
Mr. L: Or what?
(Spike presses a button.)
Mr. L: BLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGIDIBLAGI- END TRANSMISSION!
Transmission ended.
Transmission picked up.
Spike: Don’t do that. Now tell me.
Mr. L: Okay, I don’t know who I am but I don’t care. I’m the Green Thunder!
(Mr. L does that pose. Mr. L gets electrocuted.)
Mr. L: Stop doing that!
Spike: Stop posing.
Mr. L: Fair enough.
Spike: Where did you find your evil get-up?
Mr. L: From the earliest point I can remember, I was dressed like some dork, in weird overalls. So I quickly had to buy a suit from Evil Costumes R Us TM.
Spike: Uh-huh. Where’d you get Brobot?
Mr. L: I built him!
Spike: It took you from before Chapter 3 to before Chapter 4 to build that whole thing?
Mr. L: I’m a quick worker!
Spike: Right. What did you think of the other minions?
Mr. L: They were all weaklings!
Spike: Even the one that killed you?
Mr. L: Lucky shot!
Spike: How are you even here?
Mr. L: I don’t know.
Spike: Do you have any memory from after you were beaten in the World of Nothing?
Mr. L: I remember something about Dimentio and the Chaos Heart in the castle, but then nothing until now.
Spike: Why do you have so many Shroom Shakes?
Mr. L: I was a new minion so the Count wanted to make sure I didn’t die.
Spike: Weakling.
Mr. L: Hey!
Spike: Why didn’t you just use Brobot immediately? It’d probably wear the heroes out more easily.
Mr. L: I wanted to see if I could do it myself!
Spike: Which of the heroes do you like the least?
Mr. L: That stupid turtle, he’s an embarrassment to villains! On the flipside though that means he makes villains like me look better. There’s also some other reason I hate him but I can’t think of a reason why.
Spike: Maybe it has something to do with your secret identity.
Mr. L: I bet it doesn’t!
Spike: Do you even know what the L stands for?
Mr. L: Do I need to?! All I need to know is that the plumber, the princess, and the monster guy must die, Brobot needs his daily smashing, the other minions are lame, and the Count is awesome!
Spike: How embarrassing for you that you don’t even know your own name.
Mr. L: Gah! BROBOT!
(Brobot L-Type breaks through the wall and Mr. L hops in.)
Lemmy: MY WALL!
P.T.: Uh, my wall. I bought the studio during the Season 2 premiere, you remember?
Mr. L: Fear the new Brobot L-Type!
Spike: What does the L stand for?
Mr. L: The same one in my name!
Spike: Which you don’t know.
Mr. L: SILENCE!
Spike: Why call yourself “The Green Thunder”?
Mr. L: I thought it’d be cool!
Spike: You’re weird.
Mr. L: GAH! I’m gonna kill you, Mr. Sleepsallthetimeandneverdoesanything!
(One savage robot attack later, the studio is reduced to rubble. P.T. gets up from lying down and walks up to Mr. L, who is in front of the intact Hillbilly Pit.)
Mr. L: Madman! You’re a madman!
P.T.: Hillbillies and banjos, you’ll find plenty of both down there.
Mr. L: No man- tourist or official character- no man threatens one of Count Bleck’s minions!
P.T.: You bring the robots and lasers of emo Counts to my Interview studio steps, you insult my employee, you threaten my audience with missiles and lasers. I’ve chosen my words carefully, minion. You should’ve done the same.
Mr. L: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
(P.T. looks over to find an unconscious audience member with a banana.)
P.T.: Madness… THIS IS LEMMY’S LAND!
(P.T. kicks Mr. L into the Hillbilly Pit. Mii T. walks up to him.)
Mii T.: … Wow… Just wow… I didn’t know you had it in you. That was amazing!
P.T.: You’re darn right it was! I’m hungry.
(P.T. walks over to the unconscious audience member with the banana, unpeels it… then eats the peel and throws the banana behind him.)
Mii T.: … You held onto it as long as you could, didn’t you?
P.T.: You’re darn right I did! End transmission!
Transmission Ended.
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