(Lemmy's Land had a bit of a meltdown, so Lemmy's Interviewing Theater moved to Yoshi's Island for a couple of months. Racerdude Koopa was sitting in a giant red chair, holding a clipboard with a piece of paper with the Interview questions.)
Racerdude: Lemmy, who am I going to be interviewing today?
King Doopliss: You? Just you? What about me? You threatened to burn my sheets if I didn't come.
Racerdude: Okay, fine. Lemmy, who will be interviewed by me and it?
Lemmy: Well, I don't really know. And I don't want the crowd of Yoshis getting upset. Sorry to say, we'll have to pick someone random who lives on this Island.
King Doopliss: How about Kamek?
Racerdude: I’ve got an idea! Kamek! Glad I thought of it!
(King Doopliss angrily kicks a camera out of the way. All of a sudden Kamek comes flying down on his broom, confused.)
Kamek: You rang?
Racerdude: No, I didn't use a phone to get you over here. You're gonna be interviewed.
King Doopliss: By me and Racerdude. We are from NintenKingdom!
Racerdude: Be quiet, moderator.
(King Doopliss poutd.)
Kamek: Oooh, okay. Will I be paid to be interviewed?
Racerdude: Sure. You'll be paid. Now sit down and don't speak until we ask you questions.
(Kamek sits down on a very uncomfortable and rickety stool.)
Racerdude: You know the basics. Me and King Doopliss ask you four questions each, then you'll get four audience questions. You ready?
Kamek: What kind of stool am I sitting on anyways? It feels like I'm sitting on a bed of nails.
King Doopliss: Hey, I don't need your criticism!
Racerdude: First question. How old were you in each game you appeared in?
Kamek: I was 16 when Mario was a baby, so basically I was Bowser's babysitter. Though I was 18 when me and Baby Bowser were going to cause havoc. In Superstar Saga, I changed my evil ways abd I was 45 at the time. Right now, I am 52 years old.
King Doopliss: How come you stopped your evil ways?
Kamek: Ever since that ignorant Bowser grew up, I stopped working for him. So I went to Toad Town to become a psychic to help the cowardly and the foolish.
Racerdude: Oh, you mean like Luigi?
Kamek: Yes. I was going to shank him and put his body in the closet, but I decided to help the poor fellow.
King Doopliss: ... I don't think you should say something gruesome like that, Kamek. You might scare the Yoshis.
Kamek: Scare the Yoshis? I'll dunk them in hot oil, then...
Racerdude: Next question. Why was your only method increasing enemy size?
Kamek: Sadly, I was short on magic. All I could do was shoot geometric shapes and increase enemy size.
King Doopliss: So um, why did you take Baby Bowser to the moon once you two were defeated?
Kamek: Well, we had to escape somewhere. The moon was our temporary hideout until we had a new plan to defeat Yoshi and that crybaby Mario. The moon was nice, but too bleh.
(The audience starts glaring at Kamek and starts throwing tomatoes at him.)
Racerdude: Hey! Did I say you could throw your vegetables at him? You can once the Interview is over, so hold your fire.
(The audience calms down.)
Racerdude: Anyways, I'm running out of questions. So um, how did you get your name?
Kamek: That is what Bowser calls me. My parents never gave me a name. But boy, I like the name Kamek. It just sounds so unoriginal.
King Doopliss: Word. Anyways, do you plan on attacking the Mario Brothers someday?
Kamek: If I do, it should be a pretty good plan.
Racerdude: Oh! I’ve got a question. I forgot you appeared in Partners in Time. Why'd you wear a bib?
Kamek: I was also the best maid in the Koopa Kingdom. Yes, I cleaned rooms with ease! I delivered several dishes full of fattening foods to the master!
(The audience erupts with laughter.)
Kamek: Stop laughing at me, you fools!
King Doopliss: Are you related to Kammy and Kamella?
Kamek: Kammy is my sister, believe it or not. Once I stopped working for Bowser, Bowser used the Yellow Pages to contact my sister. Kammy still works for that overgrown moron. As for Kamella, that is my cousin. She is the weakest one in my family.
Racerdude: I'm so quoting that you were the best maid in the Koopa Kingdom. *laugh* AUDIENCE QUESTIONS. Seat 39.
Blue Yoshi: What is your current job?
Kamek: I sell the latest issues of Swooperman and Albatross. Also I sell videos of The Grodus Chronicles.
King Doopliss: Seat 140.
Seizure-Giving Yoshi: Favorite food?
(Racerdude and King Doopliss are on the ground, having violent spasms and drooling.)
Kamek: ... Guess I rule this Interview. Um, I like eating fancy food. Seat 10.
Dude Yoshi: Dude, do you totally surf, dude?
Kamek: ... Um, no? I'm too old for that.
Dude Yoshi: Dude, you are totally lame, dude.
Kamek: Go kill yourself. Seat 204.
Kammy: Are you ever gonna get a date?
Kamek: ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? Quit asking me that! I'm still looking.
Lemmy: Well, that's all of the questions for now. Hey, what happened to Racerdude and King Doopliss?
Racerdude: ...
King Doopliss: ...
(Lemmy looks at the audience and sees that only the seizure-causing Yoshi is standing.)
Seizure-Causing Yoshi: What, is it my almighty flashing colors of brightness?
(Lemmy puts Racerdude and King Doopliss in a cannon, then shoots them back to whence they came.)
Kamek: Aaaagh!
Kammy: (firing orbs at him) Come back here!
Kamek: I hate you, Lemmy's Land!
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