(Anti Dude is talking to Bandito outside of Peach's Castle.)
Anti Dude: We gotta break in, see? We gotta pull dis off, see?
Author: I find that offensive, cuz I'm Italian!
Anti Dude: Prove it.
Author: You wanna deal wit da Earth mafia?
Anti Dude: I'm man enough.
(The Earth mafia appears and beats Anti Dude into a pulp.)
Author: HAHA! I win this round!
Anti Dude: And that concludes... today's lesson...
Bandito: I feel man enough to break into a castle! And stop stuttering.
(Get the camera!)
Bandito: Now I am a real Bandit!
(He runs in the castle, and is tossed out 3/4s of a second later.)
Bandito: N-n-n-never mind...
(I knew it was too good to last.)
Author: Since I am replaying PM:TTYD, you will interview the chapter bosses! Except Smorg, Lord Crump, and Magnus von Grapple 2.0! You will also interview some other characters not worth interviewing, and I will get Koopaling votes! MWUHAHAHAHAHA-
Cow: Moo!
Author: Someone, PLEASE remove the cow.
(The author realizes everyone has left.)
Author: I've had enough cameos.
(He vanishes.)
At the studio...
Smorg 51: And so I said-
(A rocket crashes in the studio. An X-Naut walks out.)
X-Naut: Dude, sir, I mean, Sir Grodus, dude? Um, where are you, dude? I mean sir, dude! Sir!
Smorg 51: Umm, this is Plit.
X-Naut: Gotcha, dude. I mean sir. Do I have to call you sir, dude? I mean, sir?
Smorg 51: ... Yes.
X-Naut: K, dude. Sir. Sir, dude. Wait, now I'm confused, dude. Sir. Sir... Something or Other? I don't know your name, dude. Sir. Sir, dude. How about that, Sir Dude, dude? I mean sir? Dude? You listening, dude? Sir? Sir Dude, sir?
Smorg 51: I'm confused.
(The rest of the crew walk in.)
Anti Dude: Is that thing legal?
Smorg 51: I think it's an X-Naut.
Anti Dude: Do I have to interview a pointless minion?
(Yes.)
Anti Dude: Were you any of the X-Nauts in game?
X-Naut: I was the one that said dude, sir. Or is that dude? Are you a sir or dude, dude?
Anti Dude: Depends on who's asking. Do you have a name?
X-Naut: Yeah.
Anti Dude: Can you tell us?
X-Naut: Yeah.
Anti Dude: Today?
X-Naut: Sure.
Anti Dude: Tell us!
X-Naut: Jeff.
Anti Dude: Is that it?
Jeff: My last name is-
(A car drives by and honks its horn.)
Anti Dude: Did you have a job in X-Naut Fortress?
Jeff: I fed the Nibbles, dude. I fell in... And that was the last of my job, dude. I mean sir. Sir, dude. I mean sir, sir.
Anti Dude: What's under an X-Naut's suit?
Jeff: Depends on who it is. Mine was the one Peach got into. It smelled funny after that, dude.
Anti Dude: Why does Lord Crump look different from other X-Nauts?
Jeff: His suit shows a higher rank.
Anti Dude: Is Grodus a robot?
Jeff: Sorta. He isn't an X-Naut.
Anti Dude: Is it pronounced X-Naut or Cross-Naut?
Jeff: X-Naut.
Anti Dude: Sub-plot time!
()
(Phil is in a laboratory.)
Phil: This X-Naut will lead to bringing back my robot, and then taking over the world!
Anti Dude: What robot?
Phil: Where'd you come from?
Anti Dude: When a mommy Shy Guy and a daddy Shy Guy love each other very, very, much…
Phil: When I flip this switch, my robot will be under my command again!
(He flips the switch. Several thousand X-Nauts run in.)
Anti Dude: …And that's where babies come from!
X-Nauts: WE WILL OBEY, MASTER.
Phil: Grah hah hah!
()
Jeff: That was random.
Anti Dude: Why aren't you with the others?
Jeff: I was fired, so I had the control thing removed.
Anti Dude: How'd you get to the moon?
Jeff: We used jetpacks.
Anti Dude: Even Grodus?
Jeff: Naw, he let himself go.
Anti Dude: Are the goggles necessary?
Jeff: Night vision. And X-ray vision.
(Everyone steps back from Jeff.)
Jeff: I don't use them for THAT!
(Everyone sighs.)
Anti Dude: Audience questions! Seat MYMOUTHHASAFUNNYNAME.
Exor: Are Starship X-Naut and The Grodus Chronicles true?
Jeff: No.
Anti Dude: Seat GIVEMEMONEYORELSE.
Bill Bones: Give me a dollar.
Jeff: No.
Anti Dude: Seat REDHEAROWHOSAVEDROUGEPORT- Jeff: It was hard to reach. Anti Dude: And that concludes today's Interview! ... Anti Dude: Now! ... Anti Dude: Jeff, are you manipulating the author? Jeff: Yes. Anti Dude: Fine. You can join. Jeff: Yayz! (End transmission!) Whoops! You're not logged in!
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