Anti Dude: After the last show’s incident, we need something to boost the ratings. So we will interview a lesser-known character that will be decided by the Wheel of All-Knowingness. I just bought it off of eBay.
(Anti Dude spins a wheel that has pictures of Lady Lima, Mr. Hoggle, Johnson the X-Naut, Zip Toad, and Dark Koopa.)
Dark: Hey!
Anti Dude: And the Wheel lands on... Mr. Hoggle! Now to find out who will interview.
(The Wheel of All-Knowingness now has the heads of all the crewmembers except Anti Dude. It lands on Aurora.)
Anti Dude: Yes! With this Interview, we will be number one on Beanbean National Television!
(Yes, the Interview studio is in the Beanbean Kingdom.)
Aurora: Hello, everyone!
Audience: Hi! Hola! Konichiwa! Guten tag! Etc!
Aurora: You all sound like Morton now.
Anti Dude: Did you read my first quote in this Interview?
Aurora: Shut up. Today I will interview Mr. Hoggle!
Mr. Hoggle: Do we have interviewee seats?
Aurora: Yeah, over there. Are you a guy in a pig suit or something else?
Mr. Hoggle: We are a species called Oinkers.
Aurora: Are the hot dogs you make made out of Oinkers?
Mr. Hoggle: I don't know. The company that makes them doesn't tell me.
Aurora: 0.o You don't make your own hot dogs? (I am never eating THOSE again.)
Mr. Hoggle: Nope. That guy in the black did.
(A large man wearing all black is standing near the wall.)
Aurora: Let's change the subject. Where do Oinkers come from?
Mr. Hoggle: We come from a lesser known area in the Mushroom Kingdom, Pigtown. Really.
Aurora: Hm. How'd you get a job in Glitzville?
Mr. Hoggle: My dad owned the business before me. But we weren't doing well, so we went to the biggest tourist attraction on Earth.
Aurora: Audience questions! Seat REALLYANNOYINGWEBMASTER.
Lemmy: I demand a better seat!
Aurora: Too bad. Seat SHOULDNTYOUBEDEADINMYFUNFICTION.
Yoshi: Yoshi wonders if Oinkers are related to Li'l Oinks in the original Paper Mario?
Mr. Hoggle: Yes. We evolved from them.
Aurora: Seat D’OH! Wow, that's a short name!
Homer Simpson: D’oh!
Aurora: Does anyone in here have an actual question?
(The audience looks around.)
Audience: Nope.
Aurora: ANTI DUDE, WE NEED A NEW AUDIENCE!
(Anti Dude spins the Wheel of All-Knowingness. An audience of Toads come in.)
Aurora: Seat OLDGRANDPALIKEPERSON.
Toadsworth: Did your kind build the bell that turns people into pigs? (Interview me!)
Aurora: (No way, bub!)
Bub: What?
Mr. Hoggle: Yes. Evil Oinkers.
Aurora: Seat GDJSYNCBUYESUCRYNU.
Gxelhddsh: JXHAM KJHXL;DXWLXDD;SAJP'SLHSDH!1!!!
Aurora: I'm gonna pretend I never heard that. Seat MUSHROOMRETAINER.
Toad: What's your #$%$%^*%*@@))! name?
Mr. Hoggle: My first name is... Henry. Herny X. Hoggle. Free hot dogs for everyone!
Aurora: End transmission. I'm not in the mood for eating something no one knows about.
(End Transmission!)
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