PlayStop

The Super Wario Show
 
By Larry the Tennis Master

Wario and Waluigi are watching videogame reviews in their living room.

Host: This time, we will review the game called Super Wario Bros.

Wario: Hey! That’s the game I made!

On this particular program, the videogame that gets reviewed will earn the creator $1,000,000 if it is good enough for their standards. (If you live in Canada, the dollar exchange makes the prize worth $856,621.)

Host: Let’s see… The creator is named “Wario”. It can be bought for $20.00 at any store, but I personally think that this piece of garbage should be worth $5.00.

Wario: WHAT?!

Host: The sprites are ripped off; the Captain Falcon voiced is ripped off; the music is horrendous, and the main character can’t jump. No “Bro” should have that bad of a jumping ability.

Wario: Hey! No editorials!

Host: Yes, anybody who buys this game has been completely ripped off.

At Bowser’s Castle, Iggy is watching the same show.

Iggy: I think I just made a poor decision on which videogame to buy.

Back at Wario’s house…

Host: And Wario will now be arrested for copyright infringement. Goodbye!

Waluigi: At least you finally got what you deserved.

Host: Oh yeah! The best high score gets shown on the site! High Score by: Waluigi, with a score of 2. Congratulations! You won $2.00!

Waluigi: Yay!

Wario: How’d you beat my high score of one?!

Waluigi: Pure skill.

The show ends.

Wario: Is it 6:00 yet?

Waluigi: Yeah, why?

Wario: My show’s about to be broadcast.

Waluigi: Since when did you have a show?

Wario: Ever since yesterday.

TV: Welcome! Live! From Wario Studios: The SUPER WARIO SHOW!

Waluigi: How is the show “live” when you broadcast yesterday?

Wario: Nobody has to know.

TV: And here’s our host, Wario!

Wario: That’s me!

Waluigi: I can’t believe you made your own show.

Wario: Shut up. It’s starting!

TV Wario: Hello! It’s me! Wario! Anyway, have we got a show for you! Don’t ever leave; the commercials advertise random garbage made by me!

Waluigi rolls his eyes.

TV Wario: First things first; the “Ask Wario” segment. Our first guest: Toad!

Waluigi: This is such a ludicrous show.

TV Toad: Why are you so fat?

TV Wario: Why, it’s because I eat a healthy portion of garlic cloves every day and never exercise!

Waluigi: The truth speaks for itself.

TV Wario: Now for our next guest, Bowser!

TV Bowser: Why are you so fat?

TV Wario: Why, it’s because I eat a healthy portion of garlic cloves every day and never exercise!

Waluigi: Um, why did he ask the same question?

Wario: To add effect.

TV Wario: And the last guest, Waluigi!

Waluigi: When was I at this studio?

TV Waluigi: Why does your stomach stick out so much?

TV Wario: Hey! That’s not the question we rehearsed! Um, now we will see the Cheeseland Report, brought to you by, Cheese! Uh, I mean Luigi!

Waluigi: Why am I watching this?

TV Luigi: Ah, first item on the list… It seems that the Cheeseland supermarkets are giving away free food today as long as I say the hypnotic password… um, Wario, what was my line again?

TV Wario: (whispering) I want my food-a free!

TV Luigi: I want to take a pee!

TV Wario: Idiot!

Waluigi: How in the world did you almost get free food from the Cheeseland stores?

Wario: Magic.

TV Luigi: Uh, Wario, your “get lots of food quick” package isn’t working!

TV Wario: That’s because… oh, we’re still rolling. Now, the weather!

TV Lakitu: It appears to be raining.

It is a beautiful day outside, around 30 degrees Celsius.

Waluigi: It’s not raining.

Wario: That’s because you don’t believe!

TV Wario: And for the final segment of the show: Wario At Home! First, let’s see Waluigi snoring!

Waluigi is shown snoring.

Waluigi: I hate you.

TV Wario: Next, me eating!

Wario is shown eating some garlic.

Waluigi: That was cool.

Wario: It is, isn’t it?

Waluigi: I’m being sarcastic.

TV Wario: And last, but not least, me sleeping!

Wario is shown sleeping.

Waluigi: WHY?!

Wario: To add effect!

TV Wario: Anyways, thanks for tuning into the SUPER WARIO SHOW! Here’s a preview for the next episode!

Wario is shown sleeping.

TV Wario: And that’s all for today! Bye bye!

??? on TV: Wario! You’re under arrest for making a copyright infringing videogame! Put your hands up!

TV Wario: AHH! The police!

TV Police: This show must be shut down, as well.

TV Wario: I hate life.

Waluigi turns off the TV.

Waluigi: That was the worst show I’ve ever seen.

Wario: Maybe the ratings will be better tomorrow.

THE END

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