PlayStop

A Legal Scribble
 
By NipponYoshi
Black Karon: All rise for Judge Wario. The case, Super Dragon Yoshi, PhD (plaintiff) v. Yoshi Dino (defendant), October 20, 1989, is now in session.

As Wario walks up, the Imperial March plays.

Wario: 'Ay! I sentence you to 2 years imprisonment!

John Williams is sent to prison.

Wario: Now, sit down so we can get this over with, and so I can get paid quickly.

Everyone sits down.

Wario: Okay, opening statements.

Karon: My client, S.D. Yoshi, PhD, has had his character defamed by the imposter over there.

Phoenix Wright: OBJECTION!

Wario: Shaddup!

Karon: He also kidnapped my client so he could defame his character on the Super Mario World cartoon, by talking without pronouns, and basically like a moron.

Wario: Okay. And you?

Phoenix Wright: My client, Yoshi Dino, did nothing of such sort. He simply got the part from Dic.

Karon: Your honor, I'd like to call my first witness to the stand. I'd like to call Luigi to the stand.

Luigi walks to the stand.

Black Karon: D'ye swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Luigi: Yes, I do.

Karon: Now, what happened on the date of March 10, 1989?

Luigi: Well, we were walking as a group to the auditions for the Super Mario World cartoon. Yoshi and I were discussing Einstein's theory of relativity, when Yoshi suddenly disappeared, and later reappeared, knowing nothing of the same theory that we were earlier discussing, and talking without pronouns.

Phoenix: OBJECTION! The witness is obviously assisting his friend.

Wario: Overruled. The witness may continue.

Luigi: Since we were there, I didn't have enough time to think about it.

Karon: Did you see the Yoshi at the table over there at the auditions?

Phoenix: OBJECTION!

Wario: Shaddup!

Luigi: No, I didn't, at least not that I know of.

Karon: Okay. You may be seated. I'd like to call another witness to the stand. I'd like to call Waluigi to the stand.

Waluigi walks to the stand.

Black Karon: D'ye swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Waluigi: Yeah!

Karon: Now, where were you on March 10, 1989?

Waluigi: I was with Wario in his 1959 Cadillac at 10:30 AM, heading towards the Koopish Buffet.

Karon: What did you see on the way there?

Waluigi: I saw a tied-up Yoshi being shoved into the trunk of a 1979 Ford Crown Victoria with Mushroom Kingdom license plates reading "DUM-1975".

Karon: I see. I'd like the court to take note of that. You may be seated.

Phoenix: I'd like to call my client, Yoshi Dino, to the stand.

Black Karon: D'ye swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Yoshi Dino: Yoshi do.

Phoenix: Now, where were you on March 10, 1989?

Yoshi Dino: Yoshi first head for Koopish Buffet for breakfast, 10:00AM, then to audition. Yoshi get part.

Phoenix: Did you see any other Yoshis there?

Yoshi Dino: Yoshi did.

Karon: Your honor, I'd like to cross-examine the defendant.

Wario: Whatever, motion granted.

Karon: Your name isn't even Yoshi Dino, is it?

Yoshi Dino: No, it, uh... Yushee Mujihan.

The courtroom gasps.

Karon: You weren't raised on Yoshi's Island, either, right?

Yushee: No, Yushee raised in Korea.

Phoenix: OBJECTION! The questions are irrelevant.

Karon: Shut up! I'll get there. Now, Mr. Mujihan, d'you own a 1979 Crown Victoria with Mushroom Kingdom plates reading DUM-1975?

Yushee: Ummmmmmm, yes.

Karon: Were you shoving someone or something into the trunk?

Yushee: (sweating) Yes.

Karon: Did you-

Phoenix: OBJECTION! He is being overly harsh towards my client!

Wario: Shaddup! Overruled! Now, continue.

Karon: Did you see any other green Yoshis at the auditions?

Yushee: No, Yushee did not.

Karon: I rest my case.

Wario: Court shall be in recess until the moronic jury makes a decision.Later, when court is back in session, October 22, 1989...Wario: Now, the jury will give their verdict.

Morton: We find the defendant, Yushee Mujihan, guilty of the heinous crimes of kidnapping the plaintiff and defamation of the plaintiff's character.

Wario: I see. I sentence the defendant, Yushee Mujihan, to pay damages of ¥500,000,000 to the plaintiff, Super Dragon Yoshi, PhD; and 5 years imprisonment; and, after the term is served, deportation to South Korea from all countries on Plit. The court is now adjourned! *bangs gavel*

Yushee: (being escorted away by Black Karon) Nooo! You no see last of Yushee Mujihan!

Phoenix: *sweatdrop* (That didn't go so well...)

[end]

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