Lemmy: Hello and welcome to Lemmy's Interview Show!

Dark Koopa: What's the deal, Lemmy? This would be my 63rd Interview and I've yet to see a paycheck.

Lemmy: Here ya go.

(Lemmy gives Dark Koopa a coin.)

Dark Koopa: What? How am I supposed to split this three ways?

Lemmy: Surprise me.

Pink: Where's our paychecks?

Dark Koopa: Sorry guys. No money today.

Thumbs: *sniff* I smell money. He's holding out on us, Pink.

Dark Koopa: No. Really.

Pink: Get him!

(Pink and Thumbs chase Dark Koopa out of the studio.)

Lemmy: Today I interview Don Bongo. Who in the world is that?

Don Bongo: Hi.

Lemmy: Who in the world are you?

Don Bongo: Don Bongo.

Lemmy: I mean, what are you?

Don Bongo: I'm just a big Clubba without a club.

Lemmy: How did you get so big?

Don Bongo: Kamek's magic.

Lemmy: He sure does get around. Why are you called Don Bongo?

Don Bongo: Well, my name is Don and I like to play the bongos.

***

Dark Koopa: Fine. Take it. It's counterfeit anyway.

Pink: One coin?

Thumbs: Who's going to get it?

(Thumbs and Pink squint their eyes and hold out their thumbs.)

Pink: Thumb war?

Thumbs: Let's do it.

(Thumbs wins the war easily.)

Thumbs: They don't call me Thumbs for nothing.

(Pink's eyes turn that icy color.)

Thumbs: Uh oh.

Pink: QQQUUUUEEEEEE!

***

Lemmy: Why do you look so ugly and dirty?

Don Bongo: Look, just because I don't bathe...

Lemmy: Why do you live in the Jelly Pipes?

Don Bongo: Jelly good.

Lemmy: Lovely. Where did those dishes and stuff come from when you fought Yoshi?

Don Bongo: Some Boos from the Jelly Pipes were throwing them down from the ceiling. As for where I got them from, well, I'm a dishwasher salesman.

Lemmy: Why did you tell Yoshi not to hit you in the lips? I mean, he's not that dumb. It's obvious he'd do it anyway.

Don Bongo: Well, I thought he was that dumb...

Lemmy: Why are your lips weak anyway?

Don Bongo: They were chapped. Do you know how much that hurts?

Lemmy: Wow, you're pathetic. Let me guess. Your attacks include walking around?

Don Bongo: Yup.

Lemmy: Who's the idiot who hired the guys in Yoshi Story?

Don Bongo: Morton Sr, I believe.

Lemmy: Wow, Grandpa makes King Dad look like a genius. One last question: Do you like Yoshis?

Don Bongo: No. Duh.

(A pink blur comes in, beats Don Bongo to a bloody pulp, and leaves.)

Lemmy: I'm sure we all know who that was.

Audience: Who?

Lemmy: Ugh. Forget it. End transmission.

(A giant tomato smashes the camera.)

Lemmy: Stop that!