Susan: Hey Lemmy, you have to go to a funeral. Someone you know died.

Lemmy: I hope it was one of my enemies. I hate those guys.

Dark Koopa: So you'll be leaving?

Susan: Yep.

Dark Koopa: Then you're fired.

Susan: Okay!

Dark Koopa: You seem excited. You're unfired.

Susan: Aww...

Thumbs: I can be your new assistant.

Dark Koopa: Okay then. Susan, you're fired.

Susan: Wooey!

Yellow: Hey!

Dark Koopa: And the interviewee today is...

Thumbs: Koopatrol.

Dark Koopa: You're a much better assistant than Susan already.

Susan: I'm still here you know.

Dark Koopa: I don't care. So Koopatrol, what kind of Koopa are you?

Koopatrol: I'm a Dark Koopa, explaining my 8 HP. I was just given a spiked shell and some heavy armor.

Dark Koopa: Then why can't you do a dizzy attack?

Koopatrol: The armor is too heavy for me to get enough speed to perform that attack.

Dark Koopa: What are your stats?

Koopatrol: 8 HP, 4 ATK, 3 DEF.

Dark Koopa: What is your armor made out of?

Koopatrol: Steel.

Bullet Bill: Aluminum!

Dark Koopa: What allies do you have?

Koopatrol: Hammer Bros, Bony Beetles, Magikoopa, and Dry Bones.

Dark Koopa: Why didn't you appear in another game?

Koopatrol: I did appear in another game. I was a Terrapin in Mario RPG.

Dark Koopa: How were you able to call other Koopatrols?

Koopatrol: There is a button under my armor I can use to call others.

Dark Koopa: What about your charge attack?

Koopatrol: There's another button for that. I feel more like a machine than a Koopa.

Thumbs: I'm just curious, where did you send Pink this time?

Dark Koopa: Uh...

On the interstate...

Pink: Why do I have to interview a green brick wall?

Marluigi: Hey! I was here first!

Pink: I'm going to vent out my anger on you!

Marluigi: Eep!

Back at the studio...

Dark Koopa: Do you do anything other than guard Bowser's Castle?

Koopatrol: Well, one time I got a special assignment to guard a chest in Shy Guy's Toy Box.

Dark Koopa: Okay. Time for audience questions. Not that they deserve it. Seat 70.

Wendy: Why were you on that gameshow?

Koopatrol: I was bored. I have to do something for fun.

Dark Koopa: Seat 999.

Yellow: Why am I in the back seat again?

Dark Koopa: It's becuase you're *trails off* Anyway-

Yellow: Hey! You didn't answer my question!

Dark Koopa: La la la. Can't hear you.

Yellow: You're acting like a child.

Dark Koopa: Zip it.

Yellow: Are you Dr. Evil?

Dr. Evil: Powers is on to us!

Dark Koopa: Seat 12.

Ludwig: I ask this question a lot. What are your plans for the future?

Koopatrol: I'm going to be in Paper Mario 2.

Dark Koopa: I probably won't.

Yellow: ARGH! Stupid scalpers!

Dark Koopa: That's all we have for today. I'm going to be original and not say end transmission. Whoops.