Pink: Before this begins, I just want to ask: After all we've been through, do I really want to do this Interview?

Dark Koopa: Yeah.

Pink: Okay then. Hello everyone and welcome to-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

Susan: I thought he was dead.

Lemmy: You can't kill me. I drank a Red Bull. It gives you wings!

Pink: Today I interview Raphael the Raven.

Dark Koopa: Before this starts, I want to tell you that if you try to kill the interviewee, I'll have to shock you through that metal chip in your head.

Pink: How did a chip get in my head?

Dark Koopa: I'm going to put a chip in your head.

Pink: Okay.

Pink: Oh. Will it hurt?

Dark Koopa: I put one in a Goomba to test it. I'm sure it's painless.

(Dark Koopa zaps the Goomba.)

Goomba: AHH! The pain!

(The Goomba starts rolling on the floor in pain.)

Dark Koopa: See? You won't feel a thing.

Pink: Uhh... Why did you turn good, Raphael?

Raphael: After I lost to Yoshi, I was fired by Kamek. I decided to help Yoshi and Mario as revenge.

Pink: How do you feel about Yoshi?

Raphael: I used to think he was a mindless dope, but now we're good friends.

Pink: Mindless?!

(Pink lunges at Raphael the Raven. Dark Koopa shocks her.)

Pink: Ow. Next question: How did you come back after being knocked into the sky in Yoshi's Island?

Raphael: I know it doesn't look like it, but I landed back on Plit near Yoshi's Village.

Pink: Why do the Yoshis worship you now?

Raphael: I can solve their problems. Most of which are about food anyway.

(Dark Koopa shocks Pink.)

Dark Koopa: Testing.

Pink: Yeah right. How did you obtain the Ultra Stone?

Raphael: It was given to me by the Star Spirits. They told me to give it to someone who would need it someday, and sure enough, along came Mario, so I gave it to him.

(Dark Koopa zaps Pink again.)

Pink: Was that a test too?

Dark Koopa: Nope. That was for fun.

Pink: Grrr... How did you become so big?

Raphael: Kamek's spell made me bigger. Unlike some of the others Kamek made bigger, I decided to stay big.

Pink: Time for audience question. *zap* Ow. Seat 90.

Carrot Top: Dial down the center with C-A-L-L-A-T-T for collect calls.

(Pink launches Carrot Top out of the studio.)

Pink: Loser. Seat 14.

Mr. T: I pity the fool who don't use 1-800-Collect for collect calls.

(Pink launches Mr. T out of the studio.)

Pink: What is this? A phone commercial?

Waluigi: I'm afraid of phone commercials! You never know the price per minute!

Pink: Seat 202.

Larry: What was your involvement in Tetris Attack?

Raphael: Kamek was pretty mad I made an alliance with Yoshi, so he put a spell on me and seven of Yoshi's other friends. I helped Yoshi beat Bowser and Kamek after he broke the spell.

Pink: Seat 173.

Morton: Who you gonna call?

Audience: Ghost Busters!

Morton: No, Sprint.

(Pink launches Morton out of the studio.)

Pink: Seat 364.

Mario: Call IBM!

Pink: It's not even creative anymore.

(You know what happens.)

Pink: This is so annoying. *zap*

Dark Koopa: Hehehe.

Pink: Seat 41. I better not hear someone say call.

Audience: Call.

Pink: ARGH!

Dark Koopa: Uhh... Call?

(Pink slaps Dark Koopa.)

Dark Koopa: Ow.

Iggy: Do you have any other allies other than Yoshis?

Raphael: Yes. Shy Guys.

Pink: Seat 56.

Luigi: How do you feel about Luigi?

Raphael: Who?

Luigi: Errrrr...

Dark Koopa: That's getting old. Who's Luigi by the way?

Pink: Seat 4.

Koopa Troopa: How were you able to do that electricity attack?

Raphael: My ground pound created shockwaves.

Pink: *zap* Seat *zap* 29. *zap*

Wendy: Why did your speed increase each time Yoshi hurt you?

Raphael: At first I was toying with him, but I got more and more serious as I got hit.

Pink: Seat *zap* 117. *zap*

Peach: Why haven't you appeared in many games?

Raphael: I don't appear in any sports or party games because I'm so big. I appear rarely in the storyline games because Mario often doesn't need my help.

Dark Koopa: This is fun.

Pink: Can I borrow your hammer?

Hammer Bro: Okay. Nyuck.

Pink: Thanks.

(Pink bashes herself with the hammer until something falls out.)

Pink: Uh uh uh. You go back in.

(Pink puts her brain back in her head and then knocks the chip out.

Pink: That's better. Oh, Dark.

Dark Koopa: Yes?

(Pink decks Dark Koopa with the hammer.)

Dark Koopa: Ouch.

Pink: That's all we have for today. See you next time on-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

(Dark Koopa smiles and several of his teeth fall out.)

Dark Koopa: Aww man, those were rentals.

Pink: At least that phone stuff is done.

Susan: Can you hear me now?

Audience: Verizon!

Pink: Ugh...

Dark Koopa: End transmission.