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DARK KOOPA interviews KAMEK
 
By Dark Koopa

Dark Koopa: Hello and welcome to-

(Lemmy tries to say "Lemmy's Interview Show" but no one can hear him because he's in a soundproof cage.)

Dark Koopa: I don't want any distractions.

Susan: I can understand Lemmy and Pink, but why did you put me in a cage?

Dark Koopa: It just seemed like the right thing to do.

Susan: I wish that made sense.

Dark Koopa: Me making sense? Yeah right. Today I interview Kamek.

Kamek: I heard what you called me in Wormhole.

Dark Koopa: Uh oh. RPG reference. Well, how long have you been working for the Koopa family?

Kamek: A very long time. About 20 years before Bowser was born was when I started.

Dark Koopa: How were you hired?

Kamek: It was when Morton Sr. was in charge. He had auditions for for Chief Magikoopa and, well, I was the only one who showed up so I got the job.

Dark Koopa: What kinds of magic attacks do you have?

Kamek: I can do anything a skilled Magikoopa can do. I can increase someone's power, heal them, and even shrink them. My specialty would be making things bigger.

Dark Koopa: Why do all the skilled Magikoopas wear dark blue robes?

Kamek: It was my idea. I thought we should be able to tell Magikoopas with different specialties apart by basing the color of their robe on their specialty. The reason most skilled Magikoopas wear blue robes is because blue is my favorite color.

Pink: I'm bored.

Dark Koopa: Here's some sugar cubes. Now go back on your treadmill.

Pink: Yay!

Dark Koopa: What's with those Toadie minions you had in Yoshi's Island?

Kamek: Back then, most of the Koopa Troop were brainless weaklings. Toadies seemed the smartest then, so they were my number one minion. Can't say they were strong though.

Dark Koopa: So the Koopa Troop isn't a bunch of brainless weaklings anymore?

Kamek: Oh, right. They still are.

Dark Koopa: Except me of course.

Kamek: You're joking, right?

Dark Koopa: You're gonna pay for that one.

Kamek: What was that?

Dark Koopa: Nothing! Why didn't you ever actually fight Yoshi in Yoshi's Island?

Kamek: You kidding? Yoshi would have mopped the floor with me and I knew it. So I helped others in their attempts to beat Yoshi.

Dark Koopa: Why didn't you appear in Yoshi's Story?

Kamek: I was on vacation on the moon. I sent Bowser back because I thought he could stay out of trouble until I returned. I was mistaken.

Dark Koopa: What is the reason for your lack of appearances in recent games?

Kamek: After Yoshi beat me again in Tetris Attack, I gave up. I knew there was no way to beat him. I did however appear in Mario Party 5 when there was peace between us. I was soon after replaced by Kammy as chief Magikoopa.

Dark Koopa: How did it feel to be in Mario Party 5?

Kamek: It was pretty cool. I got to be 3D. I would have liked to have more of a role than just a capsule though.

Dark Koopa: What was your involvement in Tetris Attack?

Kamek: I thought the whole idea up. It was me who put that spell on all of Yoshi's friends.

Dark Koopa: Time for audience questions. Again. No audience. Why dosen't anyone like me?

Kamek: Because we're not in a studio. We're in a forest.

Dark Koopa: Oh, right. Pink destroyed my studio. Okay, cage questions. Cage 3.

Susan: What is your relationship with Kammy?

Kamek: We're cousins. Just like you and Larry.

Susan: Where's Larry?

Kamek: Not here.

Susan: Waaaah!

Dark Koopa: Stop whining. Cage 2.

Pink: I know there's another reason Kammy replaced you. What was it?

Dark Koopa: A different question? Dreams do come true!

Kamek: Because Kammy is younger than me.

Pink: So you think you can beat Kammy in a magic battle?

Kamek: I could've when I was in my prime, but I'm too old now. I'm much weaker.

Dark Koopa: That was made pretty obvious in Wormhole.

Kamek: That's it! You're gone! And here's your going away present!

(Kamek starts charging up a spell.)

Dark Koopa: Sick 'em, Pink.

(Dark Koopa lets Pink out of her cage.)

Pink: Grrrr.

(Kamek let's out a Homer Simpson type scream as he is chased out of the studio- err... forest by Pink.)

Dark Koopa: That's all we have for today. I'm not really talking to anyone...

Susan: Can you let me out now?

Dark Koopa: I guess.

(Dark Koopa opens Susan's and Lemmy's cages.)

Dark Koopa: What's wrong with Lemmy?

(Lemmy can be seen laying facefirst at the bottom of the cage.)

Susan: You didn't give him an air hole, did you?

Dark Koopa: Oops. I'm in trouble.

Mario: End transition.

Dark Koopa: Random. Wait a minute. It's end transmiss-

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