Dark Koopa: Hello and welcome to-

Lemmy: Mmph.

Dark Koopa: Ah. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches work every time. Today I interview John Travolta! Or Toad, it doesn't really matter.

Toad: %#@%^&$#$!

Dark Koopa: Yes. %#@%^&$#$. Anyway, the first question is-

Pink: Do you like Yoshis?

Dark Koopa: Don't answer that.

Toad: Why?

Dark Koopa: Because you won't live to tell about it.

Pink: Well, do you?

Dark Koopa: Just ignore her. Maybe she'll go away. Okay Toad, where do you live?

Toad: At Peach's Castle.

Pink: ANSWER ME!

Dark Koopa: Why are there so many of you in different places?

Toad: They aren't all me. They're just Mushroomers. Nintendo was too lazy up until Paper Mario to give us different colors.

Dark Koopa: How do you feel about Peach?

Toad: That slave-driving hag wagon? I hate Peach! I only do that stuff for her because it's my job.

Dark Koopa: How do you feel about this job?

Toad: I hate my job! I do everything Peach wants day and night until my insides ache. My job is almost as bad as Wooster's.

Wooster: Well I never!

(Wooster stomps out of the studio.)

Dark Koopa: How did you obtain those Stars in Mario 64?

Toad: I found them myself. Bowser put a bunch of them in a random spot becuase he couldn't find a place to hide them. After he left, I walked up and took them. What really makes me angry is that Mario never gave any credit to me for helping him.

Dark Koopa: Recently in Double Dash, you appeared with a partner known as Toadette. Can you explain who this is?

Toad: Toadette is my girlfriend and the only one alive who respects me.

Dark Koopa: Where did you meet Toadette?

Toad: It was about three months ago. I was hanging clothes and I noticed something in the bushes. I looked in the bushes and there was Toadette. Toadette asked me for dinner and we've been going out ever since.

Dark Koopa: That was pathetic.

Toad: Yeah? Well, you're $&(%#$@%!

Dark Koopa: What did you call me?!

Toad: You heard me.

Dark Koopa: No I didn't. It was blocked out.

Pink: STOP IGNORING ME!

Dark Koopa: How do you feel about your appearances in games?

Toad: It's not fair! I'm treated like a second-rate character. The only "real" games I've starred in was Super Mario Bros. 2 and Wario's Woods.

Pink: THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE! ANSWER ME!!!

Dark Koopa: What's the deal with that hammer you occasionally carry around?

Toad: I'm a weakling. I need to defend myself.

Dark Koopa: Have any plans for the future?

Toad: I'm hoping to star in my own game with me and only me but I doubt that will happen since Nintendo hates me.

(Pink drops a concrete block on Toad.)

Pink: I warned him.

Dark Koopa: Can you stop executing my interviewees? I never get a chance to do it.

Pink: No. It's fun.

Dark Koopa: Whatever. Susan, can you clean this mess up?

Susan: I thought I was your assistant, not your janitor.

Dark Koopa: Yeah, well what are you going to do? Wooster already left.

Susan: Clean.

Dark Koopa: Good. End transmission.