Flurry: Once again, we’re rolling.

Lemmy: Telegreetings! I’m Lemmy Koopa, for those of you who can’t recognize my voice, and I have several guests with me today.

Husky: Several? I thought that meant six.

Washu: No, everyone knows that several means eight.

Lemmy: I have three guests… that’s a new record for my show! They're here because they all asked me for an Interview, so I said, 'Why not put them together?'. Please turn up the volume and pay attention to Husky, Washu, and Lazy Koopa.

Lazy: Hey! My name should come first!

Lemmy: Hey, I say ‘em as I see ‘em. First my question, and then we go to the phones. How are you related to Mario?

Husky: Washu and I saw him once before we met up with you.

Lazy: Oh yeah, nice connection! I happen to be very much related to Mario, since I’m another Koopaling.

Lemmy: Another?! Bowser! Just how many Koopalings are there? … Oh, right, there’s no audience. I guess I’ll have to call him up and ask him.

Lemmy dials a number on his phone.

Bowser: (to himself) Like I have nothing better to do than answer the phone. I need a secretary. (louder) Hello?!

Lemmy: Hey King Dad! I was just wondering-

Bowser: Who is this?!

Lemmy: Don’t you recognize your own son?

Bowser: (sigh) I have so many sons that I can’t remember them all.

Lemmy: Oh. Um… well, anyway, you’re on line 24! Ask a question for Husky, Washu, or Lazy.

Bowser: Lazy! I remember him! Good for nothing little… uh, ok. Husky/Washu, why do I put up with you?

Washu: Because we do whatever you say, and we are much nicer to you than your own children.

Husky: Plus, Karma likes us, so that’s that.

Lemmy: Let’s go to the caller on line 25.

Kooper: Long time viewer, fifth time caller. I’ve read all the stories in Lemmy’s Land! I’ve heard about Husky/Washu, but I’ve never heard about you, Lazy. How come?

Lazy: (sighs) It’s just like them to leave me out of it! Just because I’m not one of the most popular seven Koopalings, and just because I’m mutated and live in a toxic waste zone, no one bothers with me. But that’s about to change now, because I’m going to appear in a story. Oh yeah! I’m going to use the Triclyde to-

Lemmy: And moving on!

Lazy: I wasn’t finished!

Lemmy: I know, but I have a time limit.

(Lemmy glances over at Flurry, who is staring at the clock, occasionally pausing to adjust the camera.)

Lemmy: What says the caller on line 26?

Bagels: Woof! Husky, how can you speak English without a translator?

Husky: Uh…

Lemmy: Hey, Washu, isn’t that your arm going up inside-

Washu: Pay no attention to that! Husky is just… uh… gifted.

Lemmy: Possible. Line 27!

Goomba: Lazy, I want to be a mutant Goomba, just like the ones you have already made. Can I?

Lazy: Thanks for asking! Every smart Goomba will want to get doused in the toxic waste surrounding my castle. They’ll get bigger and stronger, and green too, so it’s a great way to rise in status. But I’m afraid I can only choose the most promising Goombas… otherwise I’d be overrun. So stop by the nearest McKoopa and pick up an application.

Lemmy: Since when are there McKoopas?

Lazy: Shh! There aren’t any applications at all! Hehheh!

Lemmy: Hey, who’s on line 28?

Peach: Is Husky house trained?

Washu: Yes, but that doesn’t mean the same as castle trained.

Husky: Hey! Some castles are so huge that I can’t get out in time!

Lemmy: Ever consider a doggy door?

Husky: I don’t fit through them.

Washu: We’re still working on that diet.

Lemmy: Heh, I know about trying to make pets lose weight! Ah, what’s happening on line 29?

EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) Representative: We think it is awful what you do to the environment, Lazy. Have you no feelings for other creatures?

Lazy: Of course I do! I think animals are better off dead. But you misjudge me. I didn’t create the toxic waste, but I do use it for the good of all Koopakind. For a small large fee, of course.

Lemmy: Line 29!

Ludwig: Lemmy, don’t you think it is obvious that you are rigging the phones?

Lemmy: Come again?

Ludwig: (sighs) It seems very convenient that your callers are asking questions of Husky/Washu and Lazy in alternating order.

Lemmy: Um… so then ask Lazy a question!

Ludwig: I shall! Lazy, what- um, how did- uh, when- hey! I can’t ask Lazy a question!

Lemmy: (shrugs) I guess you’ll have to ask Husky/Washu a question then.

Ludwig: Fine! Washu, why do you prefer owning a dog over a cat?

Washu: No real reason… except that it is fun to watch Husky chase cats. Most cats that I know just like to sleep all dau. But not Husky! He’s always active!

Husky: Yup! I’d never be able to sit this long if I weren’t strapped to the chair.

Lemmy: Final caller. Line 30!

Russ T.: Lazy, I heard a rumor, and I’d like you to confirm or deny it. Do you like Nachos?

Lazy: NACHOS!!!

(Lazy jumps out of his chair and runs around the room, repeatedly screaming for Nachos. Husky barks and then escapes the ropes holding her down. She joins in the chase, and Washu runs after her, half trying to stop her, half cheering her on.)

Lemmy: I’d love to watch this fiasco, but I have to get in my last question. How would the three of you defeat Mario?

Washu: (pants) I’d have Husky chase him off a cliff!

Lemmy: Ok. Lazy?

Lazy: Well, I would use the Triclyde to-

Flurry: And that’s a rap.