Peach: Order in the court! Bring in the plaintiff and the defendant!

The plantiff, Toad, and the defendant, Mario, are escorted to their respective seats by some guards.

Peach: This is the case of Mario Mario, MD vs Toad Fungus. Will Toad's lawyer please give an opening statement?

Yoshi stands up.

Yoshi: Plaintiff Toad Fungus sues Mario Mario, Medical Doctor for upwards life savings for mispractice.

Peach: For the jury, that is supposed to be malpractice.

Larry: Right, that mistake was going to throw us all off.

Peach: Will Mario's lawyer please give an opening statement?

Jr. Troopa stands up.

Jr. Troopa: My client is innocent, so there! Nyah!

Peach: Would the plaintiff like to call a witness to the stand?

Yoshi: Prosecution calls Toad to stand.

Toad is escorted by Waluigi to the witness stand.

Waluigi: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Toad: &*(*^^)%*!

Waluigi: Wah! Ok, I did it!

Peach: … Please proceed.

Yoshi: Please state name.

Toad: Blargg.

Yoshi: Now please state Toad name.

Toad: Toad Fungus.

Yoshi: Can Toad identify bad doctor in court room?

Toad: Yes, it's Mario!

Jr. Troopa: Objection! Yoshi didn't ask for Toad to name my client, the bad doctor!

Peach: Sustained. Just answer what you're asked.

Toad: ^&(^)!

Yoshi: Never mind. How many arms Toad have?

Toad: I have one arm, because Mario )(^$( cut one off!

Jr. Troopa: Objection! There's no proof that an arm is missing!

Toad: Hello?! I have one arm!

Jr. Koopa: You might never have had two arms.

Yoshi: Exhibit A.

Waluigi, whose face is noticeably green, brings in Exhibit A. It is Toad's missing arm.

Toad: See?!

Jr. Troopa: Um… it's all rigged!

Peach: Overruled. Please proceed.

Yoshi: Prosecution rests.

Toad: Without an arm!

Peach: Would the defense like to cross-examine the witness?

Jr. Troopa: You bet I would!

Jr. Troopa goes up to the witness stand, then stares Toad down.

Jr. Troopa: Toad, isn't it true that you once stole a necklace from Peach?

Toad: Um, well…

Yoshi: Objection! Question not relevant.

Peach: Sustained, but I will want to question that further later on.

Toad: ()&$)(!

Jr. Troopa: I think you're hiding something. What is it?

Toad: Yeah, I can hide a lot of stuff while I only have ONE ARM!

Jr. Troopa: That's exactly what I was thinking. So where are the stolen goods?

Toad: If there were any stolen goods, then Mario would have taken them.

Jr. Troopa: Are you saying that Mario took back what you stole from him?

Toad: NO!

Jr. Troopa: Heh heh… the defense rests.

Peach: Would the defense like to call up a different witness?

Jr. Troopa: Yes, I would like to call up whoever is sitting in seat 27.

Green Koopa: What? Hey!

Mario hurls Green Koopa into the witness stand.

Green Koopa: Ow! Hey, what kind of a doctor are you?

Waluigi: Uh… tell the truth?

Green Koopa: Ok, I swear, I swear!

Waluigi: Phew…

Jr. Troopa: Greeny, where were you the night of January 27, 2000?

Green Koopa: Um… I can't remember.

Jr. Koopa: Can't remember, or won't tell?

Green Koopa: Can't remember. I wasn't expecting to be questioned today.

Jr. Troopa: A likely story, because you are obviously the one who cut off Toad's arm!

Green Koopa: No! I don't even know Toad!

Jr. Troopa: Oh? So then you can't point Toad out in this courtroom?

Green Koopa: Well sure I can… but only because I saw him earlier.

Jr. Troopa: When you were cutting off his arm?

Green Koopa: No, today! I saw him earlier today!

Jr. Troopa: Yeah, I bet.

Green Koopa: I'm innocent I tell ya!

Jr. Troopa: Pathetic, isn't it? The defense rests.

Peach: Would the prosecution like to cross-examine the witness?

Yoshi: Yoshi guess so. Has witness ever gone to Dr. Mario?

Green Koopa: No, I swear it!

Yoshi: Prosecution rests.

Peach: Would the prosecution like to call up another witness?

Yoshi: Yes. Prosecution calls Mario Mario, Medical Doctor to stand.

Toad: Victory will taste so sweet…

Mario tries to go to the witness stand but somehow ends up outside under a tree. I can't even explain how he managed that one. Anyway, Waluigi escorts him back to the witness stand.

Waluigi: Please tell the truth and nothing but the truth!

Mario: Eh, okeydokey.

Yoshi: Mario, is it true Mario drew medical license on back of placemat in crayon?

Mario: Yeah, that-a was the most fun I ever had while coloring!

Yoshi: Exhibit B.

Waluigi brings in Exhibit B. It is Mario's medical license. It does appear to be written in crayon as the text is multicolored and in differing sizes. It is also jumbled and misspelled. Waluigi turns the document around; the other side of the paper has a kid's menu on it.

Jr. Troopa: Objection! They stole his medical license!

Yoshi: Medical license public knowledge!

Peach: Overruled. Continue.

Yoshi: Mario, is it true Mario never go to medical university except one time when Mario used by student in brain-removal experiment?

Mario: Yes, but I-a did read "Three Steps to-a Better Health Care" by-a Jack Kevorkian.

Yoshi: Yoshi see. Mario, is it true Mario use random pills and sharp objects to cure ailment without giving tests?

Mario: No, that's a lie! I always use the same pills, regardless of-a what the problem is, and-a the only sharp objects I use are saws. I am-a proud to say I used one on-a Toad.

Toad: See?! I told you!

Mario: Hey! I cured you, didn't I?

Toad: I had a (%)$ runny nose!

Mario: You weren't-a complaining about it after I cut your-a arm off.

Toad: … You'd just cut my arm off!

Mario: Well-a duh, that's what I-a just said!

Peach: Order in the court! Order!

Waluigi: Well, let's see, I'll have-

Lemmy: That's the oldest joke in the book!

Iggy: Yeah! Shut up or we'll throw the book at ya!

Waluigi: Not that! I'm sorry! Ouch!

Roy: Heh heh…

Yoshi: Mario, one more question. Is it true more than half world's diseases caused by Mario in lab?

Jr. Troopa: Objection! "More than half" is too vague!

Peach: Can you be more specific, Yoshi?

Yoshi: Mario, did Mario cause fifty-seven percent world's diseases?

Mario: Yes, but-a the other ninety-two percent wasn't-a my fault.

Yoshi: That equal one-hundred-forty-nine percent.

Mario: So?

Yoshi: Prosecution rests.

Peach: Defense?

Jr. Troopa: Ah, Mario! Please tell the court your medical reasonings for throwing viruses down into your opponent's patient in Dr. Mario 64 after you cleared some of your own patient's viruses.

Mario: That's-a easy! I was so-a surprised that I actually cleared-a some viruses that I-a accidentally hit a lever connected to-a my lab, and then viruses just-a happened to fall down on my-a opponent.

Jr. Troopa: Perfectly logical! One more question, Mario, then we'll close the case and laugh Toad out of the courtroom. Can you tell the court your medical success rate?

Mario: I'll be happy to. I know I-a succeeded at least twelve percent of-a the time.

Jr. Troopa: Thank you, Mario. The defense rests, and we don't need another witness either.

Peach: Would the prosecution like to call up any more witnesses?

Yoshi: No, evidence speak for itself.

Peach: Very well, then each side will give a closing statement. Prosecution?

Yoshi: Mario took Toad's arm. No let Mario take more. Thank you.

Peach: Defense?

Jr. Troopa: This has all been a great big waste of time, but I suppose it's a good way to get some advertising in. Hey, all of you out there, if you get an ailment, come see Dr. Mario!

Audience: Ok!

Peach: All right, now it's up to the jury. Jury, please write down the name of the person you side with, either Mario or Toad, and then I will announce the results. Larry, it's time to vote.

Larry goes to vote.

Morton goes to vote.

Morton: I'm voting for Mario because that whole thing with Green Koopa was really convincing and he had me convinced and so the vote for Mario is obvious and uh oh I had better stop talking before the cameraman clubs me yow! Wah, why did you club me?! That hurt!

Wendy goes to vote.

Wendy: I'm voting for Toad. He looks so ugly with just one arm that I guess I kinda pity him.

Iggy goes to vote.

Roy goes to vote.

Roy: I'm siding with Mario. If Toad can't live without one arm, he doesn't deserve to live with any.

Lemmy goes to vote.

Ludwig goes to vote.

Ludwig: Obviously Mario has no medical knowledge whatsoever, so I am left with no choice but to take the side of the plaintiff.

Peach: I'll go get the votes.

Peach retrieves the votes.

Peach: Ahem! Let me remind you that the decision of the jury is final, and a penial decision will be made if necessary after the result is determined. First vote… Toad. Second vote… Toad. Next vote… Mario. Next vote… Mario. Next vote… Mario… Next vote… Toad. I'll read the last vote.

Toad: Please let me win all of his life savings!

Mario: Please let there be pizza for dinner tonight!

Jr. Troopa: Please let this end!

Peach: … Toad.

Toad: Oh yeah! Take that! Woohoo, and the million coins I didn't get on Survivor don't mean a thing now! Ooh Mario, I'm ready to collect!

Mario: Mamamia! But I-a don't even-a have a life savings!

Toad: $(%&! Why you-

Peach: Just a second, Toad. This court finds Mario guilty of malpractice, however I have decided that since his medical games are so much fun to play that no punishment is necessary. Court adjurned.

Mario: Woohoo! Dr.-a Mario is back-a in business!

Toad: … I think I have a headache.

Mario: I'll-a get my saw!

Toad: AHHH!!!