(We now bring you to the Halftime show of this football game…)
Jimma: Hello, I'm Jimma the Goomba.
Bobba: I'm Bobba the Boo.
Steve: I'm Steve the Koopa Troopa.
Jimma: Welcome, ladies and gents, to this show’s halftime game!
Bobba: I have to tell you, the Desert Pokies really stink this game!
Steve: This isn't a good game of football at all!
Jimma: Couldn't have said it better myself, Steve!
Steve: You better believe it!
Bobba: The offense isn't doing good this game for the Desert Pokies, it's as if they came to the game without any strategies planned.
Jimma: As you can see, we can all agree that this game is really bad! So bad, the number of viewers that are watching the game is really low!
Bobba: I have to tell you, the number of viewers not watching isn't a surprise, it's halftime and they aren't coming back.
Jimma: So instead, we have decided to interview someone who was a minion of Bowser's at one time, he is now the quarterback for the Desert Pokies, here is your least favorite Chargin' Chuck, Brett Brand!
Brett Brand: Shouldn't I be discussing our game plan with my team?
Steve: You guys are playing a bad game of football! Football!
Bobba: Don't worry, Brett, it shouldn't affect the next half of the game anyway!
Brett: Hey, I don't have to take this!
Bobba: This just in, yes you do!
Brett: Fine, but don't be surprised when our team loses because of you guys!
Jimma: Always blaming! These football players today, I tell you!
Brett: So, what is this Interview even about?
Steve: Since you can't offer any football advice, we’re going to talk about how you were once a minion for Bowser and other things about you as a Chargin' Chuck.
Bobba: This just in, I gotta ask, Brett, how did you even end up joining Bowser?
Brett: Honestly? Bowser actually had an impressive football team in the day, and I was a part of it. The threat of Mario stopped any of our football games, though, and Bowser forced us to fight against Mario.
Jimma: Now why would Bowser do that to his football team?
Brett: Bowser thought that football players were big, tough dudes; I mean, we are, but Bowser thought big, tough-looking guys could beat Mario.
Steve: We can obviously see the results of it now!
Bobba: Have to ask, Brett, how come you guys don't fight for Bowser anymore?
Brett: Bowser said we were nothing but overgrown turtles that were no good. I wouldn't be talking if I was him.
Jimma: What conflict!
Steve: You can't leave now, folks, this is some good INTERVIEW talk!
Bobba: Another question-
Steve: Do you have to ask all the questions, Bobba? I want a chance to talk some football!
Bobba: Lay your defense down, Steve! Your offense is in the way of you letting any defense on the northern side of the field.
Steve: What are you talking about?
Bobba: Making it up along the way, like always!
Steve: Anyway, where did the name "Chargin' Chuck" come from? Was it something Bowser made up?
Brett: Actually, this it what football players used to be called all the time, from a really famous football player named Chuck.
Jimma: Don't you know your football history, Steve?
Steve: It completely slipped my mind!
Bobba: You can't let it slip you in this sport, folks!
Steve: You may wind up like Brett if you do!
Brett: No, I'm not sitting right here.
Jimma: Let me ask you this, Brett, how did you guys gain the power to multiply into three and be the exact shape and size!
Brett: It’s an old football trick, it's just really two other Chargin' Chuck behind one, it just makes it seem we multiply into three.
Steve: So... it's not magic?
Brett: What did I just say?
Steve: Something about football magic!
Brett: I didn't say tha-
Bobba: Football magic, can you tell us anymore about that?
Brett: Look, you-
Jimma: I see, you can't tell us mere sportscasters any more! What a sneaky game plan you have going!
Brett: Just get on with the questions.
Bobba: I have to say, these football players today seem to think they have more important tasks than us regular people. I'm a bit surprised with you, Brett.
Jimma: How come some Chargin' Chucks know other sports, such as baseball?
Brett: We wanted to come up with new techniques to beat Mario.
Steve: This just in, they didn't work!
Brett: Thank you, captain obvious.
Bobba: I can't wait for storylines to read "Football player insults innocent sportscasters!"
Brett: You're the ones being pretty insulting to me, actually.
Jimma: These players, lieing to get their way out of trouble! The mere thought of what our industry has gone through!
Bobba: The agony of it all!
Steve: Anyway! Brett, how come one of your baseballs or footballs hurt Mario?
Brett: Most Chargin' Chucks are pretty strong, you have to be in this kind of sport. One of our throws or kicks is so strong, you'll be knocked off your feet!
Jimma: You seem to be all talk, Brett!
Brett: I COULD show you.
Steve: Try it on that cameraman over their!
Bobba: I just happen to be carrying a baseball!
Steve: Why?
Bobba: BASEBALL!
Brett: All right then.
(Brett throws the ball as hard as he can at the cameraman. The show goes completely black.)
Several minutes later...
Jimma: Sorry folks, due to technical difficulties, we had camera trouble, but we have a big news story!
Bobba: That's right, Brett Brand is being charged with assault with a deadly weapon!
Brett: Come on, a baseball isn't a deadly weapon!
Bobba: But more on this later, back to the Interview at hand!
Jimma: A question for you, Brett, how come a swing of Mario's cape can defeat Chargin' Chucks?
Brett: Well, as strong as we Chargin' Chucks are, I think the cape Mario wears is taken for granted as a normal cape, I think it's beyond that. It seems... almost like magic, that force of power it has with that swing!
Steve: You don't know yourself, do you?
Brett: Hey, I'm trying my best to come up with an answer! I'm not even sure what that cape is capable of!
Bobba: Why don't you wear them then!
Brett: That would look pretty silly for Chargin' Chucks, wouldn't it?
Jimma: What could be more sillier than a football team that can't win!
Brett: I regret coming here. Not only do the sportscasters make hurtful comments towards me, I also got charged with hitting a cameraman with a baseball! I was peer pressured into it!
Steve: That's what they all say!
Brett: Really?
Steve: Yeah! Word for word!
Jimma: Here's a question! How come it takes three jumps from Mario to defeat you if you guys got helmets?
Brett: Are you kidding me? Mario has one of the highest and strongest jumps ever! I'm surprised his jumps don't destroy our helmets with one jump!
Bobba: Sounds like you speak from experience, Brett!
Brett: I was lucky he only jumped on my head twice before he left me alone. He was running out of time and had to reach the Giant Gate right next to us.
Steve: Sounds like a good time to ask, how come you guys are by those Giant Gates most of the time?
Brett: Bowser sometimes sticks us there because Bowser thought us big, tough football players could be a last resort before Mario reached the end of a level.
Jimma: And if experience has taught us anything, it was a useless effort!
Brett: Look, is this almost over?
Steve: You fancy football players would like that, wouldn't you?
Brett: Uh... yes.
Bobba: These footballs players today rush too much when they should be passing!
Jimma: I couldn't agree more, Bobba, I couldn't agree more!
Bobba: This is brought to you by ham! HMMMM! That was delicious!
Steve: I don't even like ham! The slogan is bad and how they're in the big leagues is a question I still don't know the answer to!
Jimma: So we'll ask you one more question, Brett, and we'll have some caller questions and this Interview will be done.
Brett: Thank goodness...
Jimma: So, how do you Chargin' Chucks store your equipment? You seem to have endless supplies of baseballs.
Brett: You'd be surprised how much our shells can store.
Jimma: A great question, and a bad answer. That's Interviews for you, folks!
Bobba: If you're still watching, call in and give Brett a call! Please refrain from bashing on him! We know you want to, but save it for another day!
Steve: It appears we have a caller on the line now! He claims to be a huge fan of Brett! How uncommon!
Jimma: You're on the line, caller!
Guy: Hey Brett! My name's Brett too!
Brett: Uh... really.
Guy: Oh no! How embarrassing!
(The caller hangs up.)
Steve: Turns out his only fan found out nobody else was a fan.
Bobba: Sometimes you have to see the play with your own eyes, in this case, hear, to figure the play out.
Brett: Hey, I have plenty of fans!
Steve: While you believe that, we have another caller on the line! He claims to be a Koopa! We'll believe him, because he has no reason to really lie!
Koopa: Brett, could any Koopa become a Chargin' Chuck?
Brett: Sure, with lots of practice of course. You have to go through a lot of training to get a build like a lot of us Chargin' Chucks have though.
Koopa: Gee, thanks Brett!
Brett: No problem. *winks*
Jimma: You do know he can't see you winking.
Brett: Unless he's watching us on television right now.
Bobba: Brett brings up his first good point of the show, and it was a good point at that.
Steve: We’re going to assume that Koopa hung up, so let’s get another caller on the line!
Jimma: Turns out we have a Mr. Mario on the line, you're on!
Mario: How do you guys shovel soccer balls rocks?
Brett: Don't you have the eye for detail... Wait, this is Mario!
Mario: You said my name!
Brett: I'm not answering your question!
Mario: Oh no! Guess I'll just have to google it.
Brett: Haha, I could just tell you that it takes plenty of practice, but I won't!
Mario: Thank you for saving me seconds from searching on google!
(He hangs up.)
Brett: Dang it! I gave him the answer!
Steve: Or did you?
Brett: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did.
Bobba: So it's settled, we’re eating at that new restaurant across the street tonight.
Jimma: Sounds good to me!
Steve: I don't think so, that place looks like it was just opened yesterday. Take some times to see the reviews, if above the ideal grade, you should go.
Jimma: Come on, Steve! This happens with every new restaurant we want to go to! You got to try some new places on your own, and stop looking at the game plans sometimes!
Steve: I've always been like this, and I won't change my strategy!
Bobba: Fine then! We have another caller on the line! From a Dry Bones, or so he dryly said!
Dry Bones: Har, har.
Bobba: Ask a question!
Dry Bones: What happened to the Chargin' Chucks after leaving Bowser?
Brett: Most of us went back to playing football, some of us gave up being football players and took another job.
Jimma: Now we'll get one more caller on the line and end this Interview so you can lose the rest of the game!
Steve: This caller is a random Boo! Boo!
Boo: AHH!
Steve: Ask a question!
Boo: You startled me! Now, do all you Chargin' Chucks carry whistles? I see some of you do.
Brett: Well, only coaches did, but other then that, no.
Boo: Boo!
Brett: As in scary or a boo towards me?
Boo: Both!
Brett: Ahh!
(Boo hangs up.)
Jimma: Now to... What...what is that sound?
Steve: Sounds like someone still on the line!
Bobba: It's that Koopa, I tell you!
Koopa: You're amazing, Brett!
Bobba: Hang up before you find out more about him!
Koopa: But-
(The caller’s line is cut off.)
Brett: Nice, cut off my only- I mean, my loyal fans!
Jimma: Now we go back to the rest of this game, thank you for wasting our time, Brett!
Brett: No problem... I guess... Also, follow me, @RealBrettBrand!
Jimma: Why would you punish me into following you?
Brett: I would get you guys if I already wasn't charged!
Steve: You should be in handcuffs right now, but the police seem to be sidetracked by waiting for the next half of the game! Wait until they actually watch it!
Bobba: That about does it for this halftime Interview!
Jimma: Follow us @ThatsSportscasters2Nite! I'm Jimma the Goomba, speaking for Bobba the Boo and Steve the Koopa Troopa, thanks for watching!
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