Lemmy: Hello viewers. Welcome to an Interview on Lemmy's Interview Show! Our interviewee today will be a Piranha Plant that is rancid, foul, and indeed putrid. Let's give a big hand to Putrid Piranha!(The audience applauds as Putrid Piranha appears from the warp pipe, conveniently located by the interviewee chair.)
Putrid Piranha: *sniffs the air* Ah, fresh air.
Lemmy: I know. If you must know, we have special kind of Pinwheels blowing that scented air. But I should warn you, try not to pollute it with your breath, okay?
Putrid Piranha: I'll try not to do that.
Lemmy: Good. So the first question starts! What games do you appear in?
Putrid Piranha: The Paper Mario series.
Lemmy: What are your stats?
Putrid Piranha: 12 HP, 3 ATK, 0 DEF.
Lemmy: Did you know that in TTYD and Super, you have a new look?
Putrid Piranha: Oh, those Piranhas aren't new designs. They were actually new species with the same name. And they are more poisonous in those games. Although they have fancy-lookin' colors, their downside is that they are weaker than me, having 5-8 HP and 2-3 ATK.
Lemmy: I see. Another question, how are you able to survive in hot places like Mt. Lavalava?
Putrid Piranha: Either we're the only plants that can sweat, or our poison breath cools us down, whichever is true.
Lemmy: Er, that's very odd.
Putrid Piranha: You can say that again.
Lemmy: Er, that's very odd.
Putrid Piranha: ...
Lemmy: ... All right last question from me.
Putrid Piranha: Go on ahead.
Lemmy: The upcoming Paper Mario on 3DS is only few months away from being released. Do you think you'll be featured in it, much like the previous games?
Putrid Piranha: I highly doubt that. I may be replaced by a new kind of Piranha Plant, but that's just my belief.
Lemmy: *nods* I see... Okay everyone! It's audience question time! You sitting at seat 25.
Yoshi: Yoshi asks, what does Putrid Piranha taste like?
Putrid Piranha: Uuuuh... You should know the outcome. It's fatal to eat me.
Yoshi: Yoshi try anyways!
(Yoshi jumps onstage and eats the Putrid Piranha. A few seconds later the plant escapes, leaving a fainted Yoshi behind.)
Lemmy: Should I get the doctor?
(An ambulance bursts through the wall behind Lemmy.)
Dr. Mario: Not to a-worry!
(Dr. Mario proceeds to carry Yoshi onto the ambulance, and drives away.)
Lemmy: Well, that was unusual timing. Anyway, you in seat 4.
Mario: What made your a-teeth purple in Thousand-Year Door?
Lemmy: Hey, wait a minute. How'd you return here so fast?!
Mario: Who-a, me? No, that was a-just my clone buddy, as in SSBM.
Lemmy: Sure.
Putrid Piranha: May I answer his question? I guess they're purple because we breathe so much poison breath, they became purple.
Lemmy: Seat 62.
Kamek: Usually all Piranha Plants have roots to hold them in place. In the first Paper Mario, how were you able to move through the ground while in battle?
Putrid Piranha: Despite that we, like normal Piranhas, can go underground and appear in another area, we Putrids have the ability to move ourselves with our leaves, but only for short distances because we tire real fast with this method.
Lemmy: Interesting. Seat 109.
Koopa Kid: What do you think of your ice cousins?
Putrid Piranha: Frost Piranhas? Well, they're so-so, but they can freeze that pest Mario. And lucky for them, they have Gulpits to team up with.
(A stone falls on Luigi's head.)
Luigi: Ow!
Gulpit 1: You idiot! You were supposed to aim at Mario!
Gulpit 2: I told you. YOU should have spit that stone! I don't know why you let me do it.
(The 2 Gulpits leave the studio.)
Lemmy: That was... rather amusing. Next seat, 98.
Shy Away: Um... What's it like in Jade Jungle?
Putrid Piranha: Very peaceful. Lots of trees and plants, especially when there is not one single Yoshi being a bother and trying to eat me.
Lemmy: Last seat. Seat 3.
Luigi: Yeah, I'm glad you picked me. I wanna know, Mr. Putrid, were those 2 Gulpits at the back who spat a stone at me your idea?!
Putrid Piranha: What? I told them to do this at the end of the Interview.
Luigi: You admit it! I take that statement as a big fat yes! ARGH!!!
(Luigi dashes at Putrid Piranha, but the plant escapes inside the warp pipe it was on.)
Luigi: Shucks! He got away. No matter. I'll go and hunt those Gulpits.
(He exits the studio.)
Lemmy: Erm, I guess that ends the Interview. Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Next interviewee will be a Koopaling who is my twin brother. Tune in next time on Lemmy's Interview Show!
Meanwhile, outside...
Luigi: Where are those fools?
(2 more stones fall on Luigi.)
Luigi: D'oh! *looks up* You little...
(The camera cuts to the same 2 Gulpits, who are on top of the building.)
Gulpit 1: For some reason, he's more fun to target than Mario.
Gulpit 2: I hate to say it, but I agree.
(The screen blacks out, and a Lemmy head appears and says...)
Lemmy: End transmission.
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