(A boy in red is talking to a small, Mushroom-like creature that does not have arms.)
Boy: You know, Goomba, why haven't we interviewed? The audience has been here for half an hour.
Goomba: Yes, but I just woke up. WAKE UP, RED!!!
Red: I'm awake.
Goomba: INTERVIEW ME NOW!!!
Red: Why would I be afraid of you? You're just a Goomba, and I'm a human -- Interview me or meet the Fist.
Goomba: Well, if you're gonna interview me, you’d better ask me a question.
Red: So, what are you, exactly?
Goomba: We are Mushrooms that have sprouted legs through a nuclear accident. We can speak and eat, but we have to eat like a dog since-
Red: Let me guess. You don't have arms?
Goomba: How did you know?
Red: It's sort of obvious. Question Numero Dos! Why are you so easy to flatten?
Goomba: It's not our fault we aren't that strong! It's not our fault Bowser didn't give us suits with artificial arms we can use! We can't lift up weights because we don't have arms, and we can't run too much because we'll trip. It's hard to get up, too. AND IT'S NOT OUR FAULT WE WEIGH 25 POUNDS!!!
(The Goomba trips on nothing, then gets back up.)
Red: How did you get up?
Goomba: INVISIBLE BIKE!!!
Red: Where'd you get the Internet meme?
Goomba: Just kidding. We just struggle to get up, jump, and turn.
Red: What do you eat?
Goomba: We're vegetarian.
Red: Does that mean you also eat fungi?
Goomba: No. That's cannibalism. Plus, fungi are different from vegetables. They live. They are edible. Anyway, Goombas eat fruit as well.
Red: Audience questions! Seat 9,999,999.
Goomba King: We have that many seats?
Red: Yes, and how can you raise your non-existent hands?
Goomba King: We raise our feet. Why are Goombas so slow?
Goomba: Because they are not made to be that fast. Especially you, chub. We quit your rule.
Goomba King: W-
Goomba: Weren't you dead?
Goomba King: I fell into a tree.
Red: Seat 1.
Bowser: Why did most of the Goombas quit my army?
Goomba: You pinhead, you treat us like slaves!
Pinhead (SMG2): You called me?
Goomba: How did he get here?
Red: Plothole abuse. Every time someone says "pinhead", he uses plothole abuse and asks if you called him. And no, SMG2 dude, I did not call upon you.
(The Pinhead is already raising his non-existent hand.)
Red: Seat 7.
Pinhead: WHOO! LUCKY NUMBER! Who is your best friend?
Goomba: I guess that Goomba who went to high school.
(The Pinhead is struck by lightning.)
Pinhead: BLAGADIBLAGADIBLAGADIBLAGADIBLAG!!!
(The Pinhead is crushed by a safe.)
Pinhead: Mmph-mmph-mmph-mmph.
(The safe somehow catches on fire.)
Pinhead: ACK! STOP! DROP! AND ROLL!
(He starts rolling out the studio.)
Safe: How did I get here?
Goomba: I think that's enough plothole abuse.
(A pumice rock squishes Goomba.)
Red: Since he's dead, I think it's time for me to end transmission.
Cameraman: END TRANSMISSION!!!
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