Theifa: Hello, all, and welcome to my Interview show!
Bandy: MY INTERVIEW SHOW!
Theifa: Right. Anyway, today I'll be interviewing Morton, sixth son of Bowser and Prince of Desert Land!
Bandy: WAFFLES!
Theifa: Okay, you know what?
(Theifa injects Bandy with a knockout drug.)
Theifa: Please welcome Morton!
(Morton walks onto the stage to a mixed reaction.)
Morton: Hello there, folks.
Theifa: Welcome Morton. I will now ask the first question. No 1: Why were you named after your grandfather?
Morton: Well, I somewhat resemble him, and I was his favorite before he was died.
Theifa: Wait, you were his favorite before he named you?
Morton: Yes, Koopa christening actually happens when they reach 4 years of age.
Theifa: I see. How come you have Desert Land?
Morton: It's a common misconception that I love the heat and dread water. The truth is, my grandfather gave me the land that he liked best.
Theifa: Any specific reason why he loved Desert Land so much?
Morton: That was actually the first land he owned. He inherited it from his father, Charles.
Theifa: Thank you. How about wedding cake? What are your thoughts on that subject?
Morton: I have actually never even tasted wedding cake. That is a rumor, nothing more.
Theifa: Many people I know say you are a loud mouth. Is this true?
Morton: I am actually one of quieter ones in my family. That rumor was started by Roy in retaliation for a prank I pulled on him after he insulted our grandfather.
Theifa: So Roy has an aversion to Morton Sr?
Morton: Yes. It started after Roy shattered of my grandfather’s most precious picture of when he was young. My grandfather got mad and wouldn't let Roy touch anything of his after that. For some reason, Roy started hating him after this.
Theifa: We unfortunately only have time for two audience questions. Seat 62.
Goomster: How did your grandfather die?
Morton: He was leading an assault on a clan of rebels when one of their snipers shot him directly through the spine. This was my first taste of battle, and I have never liked battle since.
Theifa: Interesting. Seat 5.
Kyoopa: What is that star mark on your head?
Morton: That is from an accident when I was in Ludwig's lab. He was developing some kind of acidic throwing star when one of of them fell and partially burned my face.
Theifa: Thank you for your time, everyone. Goodbye!
(Backstage, Bandy is chasing Theifa with a chainsaw. Swiper is watching with a bag of popcorn.)
Swiper: *munch* Where did you get that?
Bandy: Infomercial.
(The chainsaw explodes.)
Bandy: #@@#@#...
(He pulls out a shotgun.)
Theifa: Where did you get that?
Bandy: Walmart.
Theifa: END TRANSMISSION!
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